Marked Chapter 8 - A Moment With Me

EPOV

Friday afternoon, I sat playing my piano with a smile on my face. I’d just gotten home from Black Ink, where I’d talked to Billy for an hour or so. He was trying to talk me into another tattoo, but I told him I just didn’t know what I wanted yet. There was no doubt there would be another eventually, but I wasn’t going to pick something at random.

We’d talked about how the pictures were coming along for my book, and when I’d mentioned the session with Jasper, his face had turned shrewd.

“That Jasper…he’s a nice guy, huh?” Billy’s voice was gruff, but I could hear the amusement hidden within as his eyes twinkled.

I couldn’t stop my smile. “Yeah, he’s nice alright.”

Billy’s dark eyes narrowed as he straightened, resting his hands on the counter as he dropped all pretense of working. There were no customers yet, but I could hear Heidi shuffling around in her private booth as she got ready for her first piercing of the day. Austin was just visible in my peripheral vision as he moved around in his own booth.

I arched an eyebrow at Billy and waited.

“How nice?” was all he finally said.

I laughed. “You’re really fucking obvious. You know that, right?” He shrugged and looked at me pointedly. “Yes, old man. We’re dating. At least, we’ve gone on a date, and we’ve gotten together a few times.” I shrugged, playing with my tongue ring as I decided how much more to say. “He’s, ahh…he’s cooking me dinner tonight, actually.”

His eyes widened as he just looked at me for a moment. Right as he was about to speak, there was a crash from the back room, and Jake’s low voice muttered, “Fuck!”

Billy sighed and grumbled under his breath. He held out his hand, shaking mine as he raised his voice, “I’m happy for you. Jasper really is a good guy. Great guy. You be nice. He’s…he’s gone through some shit before, and that’s all I’m gonna say about it. You’ll be good for him.” He glanced over his shoulder at another muffled curse from his son. “I better get back there before he tears the whole place down. Tell Jasper I said hi.”

My fingers flew over the piano keys as I thought about his cryptic warning. To be honest, it wasn’t unexpected. Jasper was often hesitant at strange times, and I noticed the way he pulled back, like that first night when he’d called a cab. I could tell he wanted to stay – or at the very least, he definitely wanted to get off – but something spooked him. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was wary.

I sighed softly, my hands slowing as I thought – again – about my options. I wasn’t sure I wanted to get involved with someone else who was afraid of commitment. Hadn’t I learned my lesson with Alistair? In fact, I knew without a doubt that I didn’t want to go through that again.

Problem was…it was all well and good to know that in the abstract, but when I thought about Jasper…there was no option. Somehow, he’d wormed his way in already, and I was at his mercy.

It wasn’t like I could just ask him if he planned to be with me forever. It was too early for that shit – for either of us. I was having a hard time, though, getting ahead of myself like always. I kept finding myself thinking in terms of “us” when, really, I didn’t know if there was an “us” yet…or if there ever would be one.

I knew, too, that that sort of talk had to be a surefire way to scare the hell out of Jasper, so I was trying my best to calm down. Take things slow. Not worry too much about what would happen if Jasper decided he didn’t want to be with me and not get too excited about what it would mean if he did want to be mine.

So I exhaled and began playing again, this time picking up Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” with a quiet smile.

One day at a time.

Something had changed between us the night of the barbecue at my house. We’d…grown, somehow. I didn’t want to put a label on it – okay, that’s not true. I did want to put a label on it, but I knew it was too early. But not a day had passed since the barbecue that we didn’t talk.

After he’d left that night, I’d been inexplicably on edge, just a little worried. I kept wondering if he was alright, if he’d made it home okay, so I’d texted him, and his answer had made me smile. I guess he’d liked that extra little contact, too, because he’d called the next day just to see how I was doing.

Monday evening, I’d called him, and we’d ended up watching the Red Sox beat the Orioles together. And so it had gone all week…sometimes we’d talk for a few minutes, really just checking in, and others, we’d spend hours on the phone, which wasn’t like me at all – at least, not with anyone but Kate.

It was during one of the shorter calls that Jasper had asked if I was busy Friday night. An excited thrill shot through me, and I nearly laughed at my reaction to the possibility of his asking me out. When I told him I was free, he’d asked if he could come over and cook me dinner. I’d protested, and we’d had a playful argument, but in the end, he’d convinced me. When I asked why he wanted to cook at my place, he said his kitchen was sorely lacking, so I told him he was more than welcome, of course.

He refused to tell me what he was making, though, and he wouldn’t even let me buy the groceries, so I had no idea what he’d be carrying when he arrived. I glanced at my watch, smiling when I realized it was nearly seven.

Not long now.

I closed the cover on my piano and hopped up from the bench, heading for the downstairs bathroom to take another look in the mirror. I was torn between embarrassment at how vain I’d become and really not giving a shit, as long as Jasper kept looking at me like he wanted to devour me.

Just as I was turning the light off again, the doorbell rang, and I grinned at myself in the darkened mirror before I went to answer it. Pulling the front door open, I realized that in the time I’d been at home, it had started raining. Jasper was standing in the downpour, smiling at me wryly as he juggled shopping bags and some sort of round plastic container.

“Here, let me get that…” I reached out, taking one of the bags and the container as he thanked me and stepped inside.

“No peeking,” he warned, and I chuckled. He sat down on the bench, putting the groceries on the floor, and I shifted my eyes, glancing into one of the sacks as he was taking his shoes off. “I said no peeking!” His hand shot out, hitting my thigh.

“Sorry,” I murmured. “You’ve got me curious.”

“Good things come to those who wait,” he quoted with a wink before he slid his shoes beneath the bench and stood up, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Like this…”

He kissed me then, his lips moving slowly with mine as I felt the cool raindrops on his cheeks and nose. His lips parted, and I moaned softly as I tasted him for the first time in what seemed like far too long. I could’ve happily stayed that way most of the night, so I growled playfully when he pulled away. He laughed and shook his head, muttering about me wanting what I want when I want it.

“Damn right,” I answered with a grin.

He picked up the other bags then, and we moved toward the kitchen as I glanced over my shoulder and asked, “How’d you get so wet, anyway?”

“Fucking bag spilled when I opened the door. Shit went everywhere.” He shrugged as we set the sacks on the counter.

“You’re soaked,” I observed.

“No shit?” He grinned as he shook his head, sending water flying.

“Cute.” I smirked as I wiped the droplets off my cheek with a chuckle. Pulling open a drawer by the sink, I grabbed a kitchen towel and handed it to him. He dried his face and scrubbed it through his hair. His pants looked okay, but his shirt really was soaked, the thin blue fabric dark where it clung to him. I didn’t mind at all the way it revealed his nipple rings, but I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. “Can I get you a dry shirt?”

His impish grin softened as he cupped my cheek and kissed me. “That’d be great,” he said quietly.

“Need help finding anything?” He shook his head, and I smiled, kissing him once more before I said, “Make yourself at home then…I’ll be right back.”

I took the wet towel with me as I made my way upstairs. There was a huge smile on my face just from the knowledge that Jasper was here, in my house, and cooking me dinner, no less. In my room, I tossed the towel into the hamper and went to my dresser, rifling through my t-shirts before I found one of my favorites – it was old and faded, a blue long-sleeved t-shirt with a gray stripe down the sleeves. I threw it over my shoulder and closed the drawer, heading back downstairs to the kitchen.

As I walked through the doorway, I caught sight of Jasper standing by the counter with a knife in hand, slicing mushrooms. He was shirtless, and my eyes were drawn to the way the silver hoop through his nipple swung as he moved.

“Jesus Christ,” I murmured without really meaning to, and he turned to look at me over his shoulder with a lopsided grin.

“That for me?”

It took me a minute to figure out what the hell he was asking, and when I did, I slid the shirt off my shoulder and put it behind my back like a child. “Nope. I was all out of clean shirts.”

He laughed and laid the knife on the cutting board before turning toward me. “That so? Then what’s that behind your back?”

“Dunno…why don’t you come find out?”

He stalked across the kitchen with a low growl, and I arched an eyebrow at him, standing my ground. When he got closer, he stood up with a chuckle and said, “Isn’t the gazelle supposed to run away from the lion?”

I shrugged. “If it doesn’t want to get caught, I guess.”

I put my hands on his hips, pulling him to me as I lowered my face and took his nipple between my lips. He groaned, his fingers tangling in my hair as I slipped my tongue into the metal ring and tugged lightly.

“Fuck, that feels good…” His voice was soft before he cleared his throat, pulling me gently upward by the hair. “But I think you better let me get dressed, or I don’t know if we’ll ever have dinner.”

I pouted, but it didn’t work as his grin just grew more amused. “Fine,” I answered petulantly before tossing the shirt to him. “What can I do to help?”

“Nothing right now…” He pulled it over his head, and I appreciated the way it fit him, revealing that toned torso as he moved back to the cutting board while I took a seat on one of the barstools. I leaned back, resting my elbows on the counter as I watched him work.

I could definitely get used to this…

I tried to keep those thoughts away as we talked about our days. I kept slipping in questions about what he was making, but he steadfastly refused to tell me anything at all, finally saying, “Give it up, Masen. Know when to admit defeat.”

We laughed together, and I conceded, letting him win this time. Instead of pushing more, I told him about my visit to Black Ink, and he smiled fondly when I told him Billy said hello. He’d apparently finished chopping all the things he needed because he paused, looking through my cabinets before he pulled out a wok. I arched an eyebrow but kept my mouth shut, knowing I wouldn’t get anything out of him anyway.

“I need to get by there and see him,” he said as he poured oil into the pan. “He’ll have my hide if I don’t show him how this knot turned out.”

I watched with interest as he began adding things to the wok – ginger, garlic, shallots, chili – and I inhaled, letting my eyes drift closed as the fragrance reached me. “Already smells heavenly,” I murmured.

When he chuckled, I opened my eyes to find him stirring, his sky blue eyes focused on the pan. He tossed in the cabbage and mushrooms he’d sliced along with baby shrimp, but then he searched through the bags he’d brought, muttering to himself until he pulled out an unlabeled jar with a smile.

“What’s that?”

He glanced over at me, raising his eyebrows. “Don’t you worry about it. You don’t get to know all my secrets today.”

I couldn’t help myself. I slid off my stool and padded across the kitchen, slipping my arms around his waist and resting my chin on his shoulder as I watched him pour the sauce into the pan. “How about some of them?” I whispered, kissing along his neck.

His hand covered mine as he pressed back against me, still stirring though I could tell from the way he slowed that he was enjoying this moment with me. He swallowed, and I sensed him debating before he finally nodded. “You deserve a few.” He turned his face, flashing me a small smile before he kissed my lips lightly.

He stepped away before he continued. “Now, you better go sit down, mister, or we’ll be christening that bar over there while dinner burns.”

God damn.

His eyes were smoldering, but the stubborn set of his jaw brooked no argument, so I did as he ordered, finding I kind of liked this side of Jasper. As I was walking away, he smacked my ass, and I turned to see he’d already returned his attention to the food, a playful grin on his lips.

“Bossy,” I muttered under my breath, and his smile widened.

We talked and teased while he cooked, and soon he transferred the contents of the wok into a bowl and brought it over to me. I glanced inside, thinking that if this was dinner, it was a strange one, and he laughed at the expression on my face. Without a word, he went to the refrigerator and pulled something out, bringing it over to me with a, “Here, make yourself useful.” He winked and opened the package of spring roll wrappers.

“How the hell did you know I loved spring rolls? And where did you learn to make them?” I frowned in confusion.

“I have my ways,” was his only answer as he began showing me how to roll one of them. I watched as he spooned the filling inside, sprinkled it with coriander and basil, and then rolled it up neatly. Watching his fingers move so gracefully had me squirming as I tried to adjust myself without him noticing, and I bit the inside of my cheek, amused that I was getting turned on watching the man cook.

“You’re not the only one who can use google.” He put his hand on my thigh and leaned over to kiss my temple as I worked. I heard him breathe, “And I saw that…” as his hand just happened to graze my crotch.

“Your fault,” I muttered, loving the bright smile I caught out of the corner of my eye as I concentrated on trying to get the spring roll right. By about the third one, I was an expert, and I was so absorbed in my work that I didn’t even notice what Jasper was doing until I heard the splash as he added potatoes to a large pot of boiling water.

I finished rolling the last and said, “These are done.”

He seemed to nearly dance as he came over to take them from me, murmuring, “Perfect,” as he kissed my lips and then moved away. Given the way he’d talked – and how surprised he’d been that I was cooking for him – I hadn’t expected him to be so at home in the kitchen.

It, like nearly everything else about him, was fucking sexy.

Dinner was carefully orchestrated, things simmering in pans and boiling in pots as Jasper moved between them. It wasn’t perfect by any means – he cursed when he burned himself and when oil popped and singed his forearm – but I appreciated how in control he was. Nothing cooked too long, and before I knew it, he was dishing up fragrant jasmine rice and pouring the contents of the wok into a serving bowl. He kept himself between me and the bowl, putting the lid on before I could see what he’d made.

He handed me the platter of spring rolls with a small bowl of dipping sauce and said, “Take those wherever you want to eat?”

I put them on the counter and wrapped my arms around his waist, refusing to be denied as I pulled him close and kissed him hungrily. He returned my kiss fervently, his fingers trailing up and down my back as he sighed softly against my lips. Finally, he pulled away, his forehead against mine as he murmured, “The food’s going to get cold…”

I heard his implied, But I don’t care if you don’t.

I was torn. If I’d been the one to cook, I would’ve said “fuck it” and led him to my bedroom, but I wanted him to know how much I appreciated all the work he’d put into making me dinner.

“Fuck,” I muttered without meaning for him to hear. He chuckled softly and opened his eyes. I nibbled his lower lip lightly before I let him go and said, “I’m not about to waste what smells like an amazing meal…guess I’ll just have to save you for dessert.”

I winked, and he laughed, telling me he had dessert for us as well.

“You’re kidding?”

He shook his head as we picked up the dishes, and I led the way to the dining room, where I’d set the table earlier. I’d put us at the end closest to the door, sitting beside each other rather than across the table. I pulled out the chair at the head of the table, frowning when Jasper started to pull out the other.

I reached out, putting my hand on his. “I’m treating you right, remember?”

His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t say anything. His face softened into a sweet smile as he let me help him into his chair, and then as I took the seat at the side of the table, he whispered, “Thanks.”

“Any time, baby.” I reached for the covered bowl, beyond curious to see what he’d made, but he swatted my hand away as he told me it was his turn.

My mouth had been watering at the smell of curry, and I was dying to know if I was right, but I waited patiently – well, as patiently as I’m ever capable of – while Jasper spooned rice onto my plate and then his. My fingers drummed on the table, making him grin and slow down even more. Just as I was about to ask him if he was going to count out the rice one grain at a time, he took pity on me and opened the white serving bowl.

As soon as the concentrated fragrance wafted over to me, my eyes widened. “No fucking way.” I leaned over, looking into the bowl to see that he had, in fact, made chicken coconut curry. “Okay, seriously. How the hell did you know that was my favorite?”

This wasn’t some random guess, and if he just happened to decide to make it, that was one unbelievable coincidence. His cheeks reddened as he began ladling the curry onto my plate.

“I might have called Kate.” I waited for more, but he left it there.

“You might have called Kate? What do you mean?”

He sighed, carefully putting the ladle back in the bowl before covering it again without serving himself. He put his hand over mine and looked at me before he spoke again. “I…” He paused, puffing his cheeks out as he exhaled, and I smiled quietly as I turned my hand up, curving my fingers around his. “I wanted to apologize to her. For the scene I made on Saturday.” He ran his fingers through his hair as we both frowned. I let him talk, though, since he seemed to have something on his mind. “It was stupid of me, and I didn’t want her to think…hell, I don’t even know what I didn’t want her to think. I just know I didn’t want her to think it.” He gave me a small grin.

“How did you find her?” I asked the most innocuous question I could. I could sense that there was a lot here he wasn’t telling, but he didn’t seem to be ready. As curious as I was, I’d seen how easily Jasper could be scared off, so I wanted him to do this his way.

“Google.” His grin was wry now, his embarrassment fading. “She was surprised to hear from me, of course, but she was incredibly sweet – I can see why you two are friends. She might’ve filled me in on your favorite foods…” His blue eyes were mischievous as he looked over at me.

There was so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted to tell him that whatever he was running from, he didn’t have to anymore. I wasn’t this guy – whoever he might be – and I wouldn’t hurt him the way he’d obviously been hurt before. But I resisted the urge, keeping things light as I said, “She did, did she? Well, I may have to have a talk with little Ms. Denali…giving away my secrets like that…”

I pretended to huff as Jasper flashed me a smile and finished serving the food. He put a couple of spring rolls on each of our plates and said, “Dig in,” and then, “Oh, wait. Shit.”

I laughed as I asked what was wrong, and he said he’d forgotten to get anything for us to drink. “I’ve got this,” I answered as I slipped back out of my seat, his protests ringing in my ears.

I returned with two pairs of chopsticks and two glasses of sweet tea, and he arched an eyebrow at me. “I’m supposed to be fixing you dinner tonight.”

“You did. I fixed you a drink.” I shrugged, and he narrowed his eyes at me.

“Since when do you drink sweet tea, anyway?” he asked, his scowl turning into a grin.

“Since some tall, handsome Texan turned me on to it,” I answered, taking a sip of mine as I handed him his, and added under my breath, “And turned me on in general.”

He sputtered, choking on the tea he’d just taken a drink of as he covered his mouth with his napkin. He coughed, clearing his throat as his cheeks turned pink, and I smiled innocently. “You okay there?”

“God damn tease,” was the only answer I got.

He watched as I picked up my chopsticks, gathering some of the chicken and rice. As soon as I took the first bite, the flavor of curry and coconut filled my mouth, and I gave a soft grunt of approval. His eyes were anxious, apparently awaiting further response, so I smiled, saying, “Fucking fantastic, Jazz…where’d you learn how to make this?”

He shrugged, and the blush on his cheeks was too cute. “First time I made it.”

My eyes widened as I realized that he’d looked it up for me. “Well, you better not forget it…best damn curry I’ve had in a long time.” I took another bite, licking the sauce from my lips as I appreciated the more subtle taste of the cilantro and potatoes. He finally picked up his chopsticks then, a smile tugging at his lips as he began eating.

“Damn…you have good taste…” he murmured after taking his first bite.

I laughed, telling him I knew I did. “I’m a picky bastard, though…so you know it’s damn good if I love it.”

I could tell his chest was swelling with pride – and it was well-deserved. As we ate, our conversation was light, finally getting to some of those initial meeting questions we’d never gotten around to like birthdays and hobbies. He told me his middle named was William, and when he asked mine, I wrinkled my nose. “Anthony.”

“You don’t like it?” he asked, taking another bite of rice.

I shrugged. “It’s alright, I guess. I was named after my dad.” I frowned slightly, sipping my tea.

Wiping his fingers on his napkin, Jasper watched me for a moment before he turned his eyes to his plate. “How old were you…?” he asked. When I didn’t answer right away, he looked up, adding, “I’m sorry. You don’t have to talk about it.”

I swallowed, shaking my head slightly to let him know it was okay. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to figure out how much to say. My voice was gruff when I finally answered, “Five for Mom…twelve when my dad passed away…”

I heard the clink as he put his chopsticks on the side of his plate, and then his warm hand was on mine as he squeezed it gently. “I’m sorry,” he murmured softly, simply.

I looked up at him, trying to smile though I felt it fall. I turned my hand up, squeezing his in return as I whispered my thanks. I cleared my throat and raised my voice, explaining that I’d gone to live with my mom’s family in Tennessee afterward. “Dad was an only child, but Mom had a brother, my Uncle Everett. I moved in with him and Aunt Livy…and my cousins Tanya and Emmett.” My smile became fond as I shook my head, my eyes widening. “Bit of a culture shock, in more ways than one, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. You’d like them…Tanya, especially. Emmett takes a little getting used to, but…” I trailed off, unable to find words to describe my exuberant cousin, and then I laughed. “Emmett’s the one who gave me the tongue rings.”

I watched as Jasper’s brow furrowed before his eyes widened. “Oh, yeah?” When I nodded, he smirked in amusement and said, “Guess I’ll have to thank him then…” as he leaned over to kiss me lightly.

I put my hand on the back of his neck, lacing my fingers through his hair as I pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. The strange ache I felt as I talked about my family seemed to ease when our lips met, and I didn’t want the feeling to end. He tilted his head, kissing me sweetly as his tongue brushed mine, and I sighed when he took my face in his hands. When he finally pulled away, he kept me close for a moment, looking into my eyes as he said, “Before Emily was born, I sometimes wished I was an only child.”

There was a playful tone in his voice, but I saw the effort it took for him to keep it there, and I realized with a start that I loved him a little bit for that – for trying to lighten the mood and letting me know in a round-about way that he felt for me.

As we straightened and began eating again, I gave him a smile. “Oh, really? Why’s that?”

He made a face and rolled his eyes. “Charles. The golden child.” He chuckled. “Nah, my parents never showed any preference, but he was older and always did as he was told, and I…didn’t.” His eyes twinkled, and I could just imagine the mischievous little boy he must’ve been. “He was just too damn fun to mess with!”

He told me more about his older brother and how he’d always been more studious, better behaved, and I found myself picturing a skinnier Jasper, maybe a little nerdy. Right about the time I’d given him glasses and decided he had a cowlick, Jasper said, “Best thing he ever did was marry Mack and give me the best damn nephews I could ask for.”

“Mack?” I asked in confusion. “Did they adopt?”

The look of utter confusion on Jasper’s face was priceless, and he sat there with his forehead and nose wrinkled, tilting his head as he looked at me before he finally burst out laughing. “Oh!” He shook his head, snickering, and I heard him mutter under his breath, “God, Chuck would die…”

“What?”

“Sorry,” he chuckled again. “No, Charles isn’t gay…Mack is his wife, Makenna. She’s from Ireland – they met when she was an exchange student here, and she’s awesome, though why in the hell she decided to date his ugly ass…and then marry him…” He shook his head, and his eyes widened as he just left it at that.

“Oh…” I laughed softly at the misunderstanding, and we talked awhile longer as Jasper told me about his nephews. Apparently Finn, who was five, was exactly like Jasper, and it amused him to no end to hear his brother’s exasperation when he didn’t understand why Finn couldn’t just do as he was told. It was hard for them to tell how Conall was going to act since he was only two, but Jasper was holding out high hopes that the two would be a force to be reckoned with.

I watched as he talked about them, his eyes dancing fondly as he grew animated. After telling me about celebrating the Fourth of July with them, he sat back, finally putting down his chopsticks for good as he rubbed his belly and sighed. “I miss those two. I’m hoping I can get back home before the holidays…”

He took a sip of his tea, finishing off the glass before he set it back down, licking his lips. “What about you? You go to Tennessee for the holidays?”

I nodded and said, “Yeah, usually. Sometimes I stay here and hang out with Carlisle and Esme, but I always fly down there for the major holidays.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Esme…? The one who called last weekend?”

With a smile, I nodded again and then told him a little about the Cullens. “Esme is sort of another mother to me…her husband, Carlisle, was one of my dad’s business partners. He was the executor of their wills…” I trailed off briefly, wiping my hands on my napkin before I put it on the table. “Anyway, they’ve been around my whole life, and they’re just great people. Really caring, both of them. Like charity work and that sort of thing…Carlisle took care of the house when I was in Tennessee.” I frowned as I realized that there were really no words to describe the two of them and what they meant to me. “You’ll have to meet them sometime,” I said instead, and watched as several emotions flickered across Jasper’s face.

Finally, he gave a single nod and a tentative smile as he said, “I’d like that.”

He seemed a little uncomfortable, so I pushed away from the table, standing as I reached out to take his plate. I stacked it with mine, piling the chopsticks on top, and he stood as well, picking up our glasses. I was thinking quickly, trying to find a change of subject, and my mind went back to the weekend before when I remembered something.

“Oh, hey…” I started, glancing over my shoulder at him as we moved into the kitchen. “Can I ask you something?”

“’Course,” he answered simply, reaching past me to start the water in the sink as I put the dishes in the basin.

While we waited for the water to heat, I leaned back against the counter, spreading my feet and pulling Jasper over to stand between my legs. He looked at me curiously, making me grin. “Where the hell did ‘Little Caesar’ come from?”

His eyes widened, and he blushed furiously. “Shit. Did I actually say that out loud?”

I nodded, arching an eyebrow as I waited. He started to back away, but I put my arms around his waist, keeping him in place.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Umm…well…God, this is…” he trailed off and then took a breath, glancing somewhere to his right before he spoke again. “You know how I thought you were with Garrett or wanted to be or whatever?” I nodded, encouraging him to continue. “I didn’t know who he was, and you told me what that tattoo meant, and he was lying on that bed like he was the goddamn emperor or some shit, so…yeah, Little Caesar.”

I snickered and then really thought about it and threw back my head, laughing. I felt Jasper shaking lightly as he laughed with me, and then his lips were at my neck, teasing the skin there before his breath was hot on my ear. “Have I told you how glad I am that you’re not into ancient Roman emperors…?”

Pulling his hips to me roughly, I let my hands slide down over his ass as my lips moved to his neck. He bit the join of my shoulder and neck, and I thrust my hips against his reflexively.

Fucking love when he does that shit.

I put one finger under his chin, lifting his face so I could kiss him fully. He returned the kiss eagerly, and I could taste the curry and coconut mixed with the taste that was wholly him. I moaned quietly, tilting my head to get a little more of it, and I pouted when he pulled away, letting me feel the smile on his lips.

“Oh no, you don’t…” he murmured. “I’ve got dessert for you.”

“I’ve got all the dessert I want right here,” I answered, running my fingers just inside the waistband of his jeans. He caught my both my hands and spread them out to the counter on either side of me, covering them with his own.

“Not a chance…” His accent sent a thrill through me as he said, “I’d be remiss if I let you get away without having a piece of peanut butter pie.”

“Peanut butter?” My voice instantly lost its husky quality, betraying my interest as I stood up a little straighter.

Jasper laughed, muttering, “I see how it is…”

He placed a quick kiss on my lips and then moved away, going to the refrigerator, while I ran water over the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. He pulled out the round container I’d carried earlier and put it on the counter, waiting until I’d finished and dried my hands. Then, he removed the top, revealing a delicious-looking pie with a chocolate cookie crust topped with chocolate shavings.

“Damn…” I whistled appreciatively. “Where’d you get that?”

He frowned slightly. “I made it.”

I glanced back down, resisting the urge to dip my finger in it to taste it. “You made that?” He nodded. “For me?” He nodded again, and I smiled slowly, reaching out to cup his cheek. I kissed him chastely, whispering, “Thank you…” before I told him it looked fantastic. I went to the cabinet, grabbing a couple of dessert plates, and Jasper served us slices before he poured two glasses of milk.

“Trust me,” he said when I looked at him questioningly. I shrugged and then nodded, suggesting we take our dessert to the den.

We settled onto the couch – which, I have to admit, I’d chosen on purpose – and I put my feet up on the coffee table as I took my first bite. “Jesus Christ,” I moaned, my eyes drifting closed. The pie was smooth and creamy, and Jasper had been right about the milk – I needed it to cut the rich flavors of the peanut butter and chocolate. When I opened my eyes, I glanced over to find Jasper watching me, and I smiled at the light of pride in his eyes. “You’re too good to me,” I murmured.

He shook his head but didn’t say anything, taking a bite of his pie as well. He washed it down with milk and then said, almost shyly, “It’s Mama’s recipe.”

I didn’t know what to say, not wanting to get all sappy over a piece of pie, but it meant a lot to me that he’d made something for me – something that his mother had made him. I smiled at him, swallowing the lump in my throat with another bite of the pie, and after a sip of milk, I leaned over, my voice husky as I whispered my thanks again.

“You’re welcome,” he murmured against my lips, letting me taste the sweetness on his tongue as we kissed briefly.

As much as I wanted to push him back on the couch and have my way with him – again – I wasn’t about to let him think I didn’t appreciate everything he’d done for me, so I sat back on the couch and fully enjoyed the rest of my dessert. I moaned quietly when the flavors really hit me, and his smile broadened in response. He turned to face me, pulling one of his legs up in between us so he was sitting half Indian style.

“What’s up?” I asked, licking my fork.

“Your moaning reminded me…” I furrowed my brow at his words, and he smirked. “Fantasies. You said the barbecue wasn’t the time or place, but I don’t see anyone else around now…”

“Ahh…” I chuckled, polishing off my pie and draining the rest of my milk before I wiped the corners of my mouth with my thumb and settled back against the arm of the couch, facing him. “Umm…what is it you want to know?”

He rolled his eyes but then thought for a moment. “What did you imagine the first time you jerked off thinking about me?”

My eyes widened before I blinked.

“What?” he said. “You can’t tell me you haven’t…or, well, if you haven’t, then I guess it’s about time for me to go…” He started to stand up, his voice cocky, and we both chuckled as I reached out to stop him. He settled back on the couch and looked at me pointedly, waiting.

Clearing my throat, I rubbed my hands on my thighs nervously, feeling the texture of my jeans. He was right – it wasn’t like I could deny it, and I fucking loved the realization that that meant he’d masturbated to thoughts of me as well, but…yeah, still embarrassing. “Well, I showed you part of that, too.” I smirked at him before I took a deep breath, just letting it all spill out. “I was looking at your pictures, and your scent was still on my shirt, and it was just too much. I imagined a couple of things actually…you going down on me, and me sucking you off. And then I finished when I thought about…” My words grew softer as I trailed off for a second before forcing myself to say it. “When I thought about cumming…umm…on your chest.”

He thought for a moment and then smirked at me, and I said wryly, “Funny enough, you smirked at me just like that.”

He laughed and leaned over, kissing me before sitting back again and looking at me shrewdly. “Not bad…” he said, “but that’s pretty tame.”

“Oh, really? And just what did you imagine?”

“The night I met you, I fantasized about bending you over the back of my couch and fucking you hard,” he said matter-of-factly.

“God damn,” I breathed, shivering lightly as the image filled my mind. I suddenly wanted it…craved it…and I had to bite my lip from telling him to go for it.

“And I imagined licking that tattoo…the one hidden just beneath your waist.” He chuckled. “And then when I had you here with your pants off, I didn’t even think to look…” He arched an eyebrow at me.

“Well, come a little closer if you want to fix that…”

He put his fists on the couch between us as he started crawling toward me and then stopped. “Wait.” He frowned. “You said you were looking at my pictures? That was the first time?”

He looked disappointed, almost hurt, and I frowned as I reached out, putting my palm on his cheek. “Yeah, that was the first time…but that was because I’d been trying like hell not to think about you for weeks. It wasn’t without effort, believe me…” I ran my thumb along his cheekbone, trying to make him understand. “I thought you weren’t a possibility, Jazz, and it killed me to think of fantasizing about you when I couldn’t have you.”

He considered my words, and his expression softened as I could tell he was mollified. His eyes flickered between mine before he nodded and crawled the rest of the way over to me. I lay back, stretching my legs out on the couch, and he lowered himself between them, letting me feel the way he was hardening as he murmured, “Ready for your second dessert, Dr. Masen?”

Instead of answering, I kissed him hard, my hands making their way under his shirt as I rubbed the smooth skin of his back. My fingers brushed beneath the waist of his pants, and I frowned teasingly as I was met with the fabric of his boxers. He smiled against my lips, shifting his hips so they ground against me, and I muttered, “Mmm…fuck…” as my legs wrapped partially around his, my feet resting just beneath his knees.

We took our time, learning each other as we kissed with a slowly building passion. His tongue tugged at the stud through mine, and when I moaned, he did as well. I could hear him breathing, hear his soft moans and sighs as his hips found a rhythm that soon had me aching, needing more.

He was pressed too closely against me, and I couldn’t move my hands between us, so I broke our kiss, whispering breathlessly, “I need to touch you, baby…please…”

“Fuck,” he murmured, “God yes…” as he lifted his hips, shifting back. Before I could even begin to unfasten his pants, his fingers had undone the first two buttons of mine, and I groaned when he slipped his hand inside. My cock was wrapped in his warm hand, and he was pumping me teasingly before I finally managed to unzip his pants and push them over his hips.

I took him in hand, but he pulled away, making me frown as I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He grinned down at me lazily, his hands hooking into the waist of my pants as he tugged. I lifted my hips, and he pulled them down my thighs, moving to the end of the couch so he could remove them completely.

“Oh, hell yes.” I gave him a crooked grin as I ripped my shirt off over my head, running my fingers through my hair as I lay back to watch Jasper get rid of the rest of his clothes. My eyes roamed his form, my hand automatically going to my cock as I stroked myself, appreciating the sight of his toned body. I was especially drawn to the tattoo on his chest again and the way the metal stood out against his darkened nipples, but I lowered my gaze, biting my bottom lip as I reached out with my other hand to trace the V leading down to his dick, standing tall and thick.

I swallowed as he took himself in hand, stroking slowly, and I was mesmerized by the seductive sight, the way he squeezed, his hand coming all the way up over the head before moving back down to the base. I finally tore my eyes away, looking up to meet his gaze, and he watched me as he lowered himself onto me again.

I moaned at the feeling of his bare skin on mine, our dicks brushing as we moved together, and again I had to bite back the words before I told him to please act on his fantasy. I wasn’t sure what, exactly, was holding me back, but we just didn’t seem to be there quite yet.

Motherfucker.

His lips were all over me, his tongue tracing lines along my neck before his head ducked down, and he sucked gently on my nipple, teasing it with his teeth and tongue. My hands cupped his ass, kneading roughly as I rocked my hips against him.

At once, I felt cold air wash over my naked body, leaving me frowning up at Jasper, who was standing beside the couch with his hand extended. He chuckled quietly at my expression and said, “Come here…” I reached out to take his hand, but when I didn’t move to get up, he said, “Please,” brushing the back of my hand along his dick.

That was all it took for me to stand, still a little lost as he led me to the end of the couch and sat me on the arm, my feet spread on the floor. His hands were on my thighs as he knelt, and my eyes widened, his words springing to my lips. “You don’t have to.”

He gave me a cocky smirk, licking his lips slowly as his hands drifted up my thighs, his thumbs grazing my balls. “You gonna stop me?”

I smiled slowly, shaking my head as I brushed the hair back from his forehead, and then his lips were wrapped around my head, and he was licking and teasing, and I was thanking every god I could think of that he hadn’t wanted to stop.

“Fuck.” My hips shifted as I reached back with my left arm, bracing myself on the back of the couch while my right hand tangled in his hair. My eyes were focused completely on the sight of my cock disappearing into Jasper’s hot mouth, his lips reddened and swollen. His blue eyes gazed back up at me, watching me, and I found myself murmuring words of encouragement, telling him how good it felt, how unbelievably exquisite his mouth was on my dick.

His left hand wrapped around my base, moving in rhythm with his lips, and it was a struggle to keep my eyes open. Then I saw him take himself in his right hand, stroking in time, and I tightened my grip on his hair with a hiss.

“Oh, fuck…don’t stop, Jazz…let me watch you, baby. I love seeing you touch yourself just like that. God damn…that’s right…like that…”

I didn’t even know what I was saying. I just knew that the sight of Jasper on his knees, rubbing his hard cock while his warm mouth sucked my dick, his tongue licking and wrapping along my shaft, and his darkened blue eyes watching me…it was too much. I felt my balls tightening, knowing my release wouldn’t be long in coming, even though I never wanted that moment to end.

“I…I…” I stuttered, my eyes finally closing as my thighs clenched, and I tried in vain to hold out.

Chilled air met my wet skin, and I opened my eyes in confusion, finding Jasper watching me with that devilish smirk. His hand moved furiously along my shaft as his swollen lips parted, and he whispered, “Let me see you…cum for me; you know you want to…feels so fucking good…”

His hips were jerking, and I glanced downward, finding his other hand speeding along his length. When I looked back up at his face, I saw that he was struggling to keep his eyes open, and he was looking at me pleadingly. That was all it took, and I let myself go, forcing my eyes wide as I watched the pearly liquid spill across his chest, marking the black ink in his skin. My head fell forward, chin on my chest, even as I pulled at Jasper’s elbow, encouraging him to stand.

He shifted clumsily to his feet, and my voice caught as I murmured breathlessly, “Gotta see you, too…come on, baby…show me how good it feels…”

His eyes finally closed as he came hard, and I felt his hot release all over my stomach. The sight of him in ecstasy, his lips parted as his head fell back and his hand stroked him through his orgasm was fucking beautiful, and I put both my hands on his face, pulling him close as I kissed him hard. He nearly lost his balance, bracing himself with his hands on my thighs as he laughed softly before returning my kiss eagerly.

When we finally parted, he hummed appreciatively, licking his lips before he opened his eyes. He smiled at me gently and then looked down, snickering. I followed his gaze and realized we were a complete mess, the evidence of our activities covering our torsos, his hands, my thighs…I stood before it dripped onto the couch, chuckling as I shook my head.

“Hey…” I started. He wiped the back of his hand on his thigh and then looked up at me with a smirk. “How about a shower?”

“Sounds perfect,” he answered, leaning down like he was going to pick up his clothes before he made a face. “Fuck it,” he muttered and then cocked an eyebrow at me. “You know, I seem to end up messy around you a lot…”

I laughed, mimicking his expression as I said, “I sure as hell don’t hear you complaining.”

He grinned, ducking his head as he said, “You won’t, either…now, where’s this shower before we make a bigger mess on your floor?”

I was smiling like a fool as I led the way upstairs. Jasper smacked my ass on the way, and when I looked back over my shoulder at him, he tried to smile innocently, but it just ended up looking mischievous. He told me he’d wanted to grab my ass when I took him upstairs during the shoot, and as I reached the top of the stairs, I turned to him, kissing him once. “Kinda wish you had…would’ve answered a lot of questions.”

He pursed his lips, and I winked at him, chuckling as we walked to my room. I heard him muttering something about hindsight under his breath, but I didn’t ask – I knew it was the same thing I’d realized. It was much easier to admit all these things now, when we were sure how the other felt, than it was when there were so many unanswered questions.

Jasper hadn’t been into my bathroom, so when I flipped on the light, he let out a low whistle. “God damn. You weren’t kidding ‘bout doing things right, were you?”

“Nope.” I shrugged, going to turn on the shower while he took a look around. I stuck my hand under the spray out of habit, even though I knew the water would be too cold, and then turned to find him studying my tub.

Grinning, I cleared my throat. “You know, if you like it, you’re more than welcome to stay and try it out. We should probably clean up a little first, though.”

He glanced down, chuckling as held his arms out to the side, palms facing me. “Yeah, probably a good idea.”

I opened the door to the shower, motioning him in, and I followed quickly behind, sighing appreciatively at the hot water streaming over my body. Jasper cleared his throat and shifted from foot to foot, suddenly seeming a little awkward as he glanced away from me.

“Hey…” I murmured, reaching out to turn his face to mine. I kissed him gently and gave him a small smile. “It’s just me.”

He nodded, smiling at me tentatively. His shoulders dropped, tension I hadn’t even been aware of fading from his face before he turned around, his back to me as he rinsed beneath one of the showerheads. I stood motionless for a moment, unsure how to take his mood before he glanced over his shoulder, grinning at me.

I smiled in response and reached for my soap, lathering up my hands before I slipped my arms around Jasper’s waist and began washing his chest and abs. When my hands drifted lower, his head fell back on my shoulder, and I heard the chuckle in his voice as he said, “Better watch those hands, Dr. Masen, or I won’t be responsible for what comes up.”

I laughed as I pulled him closer, placing kisses along his shoulder blade before I rested my chin on his shoulder and peered down to watch my hands. I was reminded of the way my mind wandered at Jasper’s photo shoot when I’d imagined us exactly like this as I unzipped his pants.

I couldn’t help myself. The idea that he was here, real, and in my arms was a little too much, and I pulled him close, holding him tightly to me as I rested my forehead between his shoulders. I felt his hand cover my forearm as he leaned back against me, and he whispered huskily, “You alright?”

I nodded, finally lifting my head and kissing the nape of his neck. “Fine…hey…” I trailed off, my lips brushing along his ear as I murmured, “Thanks…for giving me one of my fantasies, I mean.”

He patted my arm, and I watched his profile as he smiled. “You’re welcome…it was my pleasure.”

His voice was cocky, but the happy expression on his face was genuine. I didn’t know quite how to bring up any of the things I was beginning to feel for him, so I relaxed my arms slightly and kept my voice low as I instead said, “So I guess yours is next…huh?”

He bit his bottom lip, his brow furrowing. “I guess…”

It was quiet for a moment, the only sounds those of the water spraying from the dual showerheads. At last, he patted my hand, and I dropped my arms so he could turn around to face me. His eyes darted between mine, studying me before he said, “Are you ready for that?”

Fucking idiot. Why the hell would you bring that up right now?

I sighed, biting the inside of my cheek as I put my hands on his hips. I watched him, trying to decide what to say, but in the end, I just went with the truth. “Not quite…not yet…”

I saw something flash in his eyes – rejection, disappointment, whatever name you wanted to give it – and I brought my hands up, cupping his face before I kissed him gently. “Jazz, believe me…it’s not because I don’t want you. If you’d asked me that question three weeks ago, I would’ve said ‘fuck yes’ and thrown you down on the bed over there…” I paused, pushing his wet hair from his forehead and brushing away a droplet of water with my thumb just before it fell into his eye. “But there’s…” I swallowed, inhaling lightly. “There’s more here. I mean…I want you so badly I can’t even fucking think straight half the time…” Images of me with my back to the wall while we jacked each other off sped through my mind, making me smile wryly. I finally gave up trying to explain what I meant and shrugged. “I like you. A lot.”

I watched his eyes, on edge as I waited for his reaction. He seemed lost at first, an array of emotions passing across his face before he settled on something between amusement and happiness. A smile played on his lips, the corners curving up before he tried to force them back down. At last, a beaming smile spread on his face, and he chuckled softly. “I like you, too.”

It was a little stupid how my pulse seemed to speed with those words – words we’d said several times now. They were fillers, placeholders for the words I couldn’t actually bring myself to say.

I’m falling for you, Jasper. Hard.

And I’m afraid.

It seemed that each time we said those words, they meant something a little different, and I bit my tongue to keep from asking Jasper just what, exactly, he meant by them. It wasn’t fair to ask him a question I wasn’t willing to answer myself.

Instead, I swung out my elbow, hitting him lightly on the arm as I reached for the soap again. He grinned at me, and we took turns washing each other, for once keeping it clean – well, as clean as we were able, apparently, which meant that there was some groping involved.

When we stepped out of the shower, I handed him a towel and tried to repress my smile at how much I liked having him here with me like this.

Getting ahead of yourself again, Masen.

If Jasper felt anything of the sort, he kept it well-hidden, but he did seem completely comfortable at least. He wrapped the towel around his waist and then said, “Got any Q-tips?” and something about it just struck me as funny. I laughed as I pulled open the right drawer, and he pulled out two, raising his eyebrows as he cleaned both his ears at once. I snickered at the sight – Jasper standing there in a towel, his elbows out to the side of his head as he swirled the cotton swabs around his earlobes.

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” His voice was haughty and playful as he tossed them both into the trash.

“You…” When he raised an eyebrow at me pointedly, I shrugged and grinned. “You’re too damn cute.”

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he reached out and snatched my towel away, leaving me standing there nude. “Hey!”

“’s what you get…” he muttered, smirking at me before he tossed it in the hamper and walked out of the bathroom.

I followed him into the bedroom, not bothering to cover up, but when I tried to grab his towel, he was holding onto it. He looked back over his shoulder and smirked at me.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that,” he drawled lazily.

I narrowed my eyes and pounced, wrapping my arms around his waist and tackling him to the bed. “What was that about doing better?” I tickled his ribs, and he laughed, flipping over onto his back and smiling up at me.

“Not too bad, Masen…” Suddenly he sat up, his eyes roaming down my body as he chuckled.

“What the hell are you laughing at?” I raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t try to cover myself. “I don’t recall you finding anything down there funny before.”

He glanced up at my indignant tone, and a smile flirted on his lips as he murmured an apology. “I’m not laughing at you…I’m laughing at me. I had you undressed – again – and I was right there, but I didn’t look at your tattoo…again.” He quirked an eyebrow and tilted his head. “Apparently you make it hard for me to think straight, too.”

I smiled broadly, my ego restored as Jasper asked if he could take a look. I said of course and then moved to stretch out on my back, my head on my pillow. When Jasper pushed himself to his hands and knees, I reached out, stealing his towel and tossing it across the room. His eyes widened in surprise, and he laughed when I said, “Now…we’re even.”

He rolled his eyes at me but didn’t respond as he leaned down to look at the tattoo on my chest. He chased the lettering with his finger before he looked up at me questioningly. “Hebrew for ‘Elizabeth’…my mother’s name.” He nodded and then leaned down, placing a soft kiss on the ink. My breathing stuttered, and I ran my fingers through his hair at the subtle caring gesture, but I didn’t comment as he continued lower.

He settled just beside my knee, and I took the time to appreciate his body as he studied the tattoo just inside my hipbone. I enjoyed his lean, almost lanky frame. It wasn’t often that I dated men taller than I was, and I found I liked it. I also liked his toned legs and the way he was sitting in my bed nude, completely unabashed as our eyes traveled over each others’ bodies.

I reached out, idly rubbing his thigh as he knelt beside me while I looked at the phoenix tattoo on his chest. I hoped that someday – maybe not too far in the future – I’d get to hear the story of it. It clearly meant something to him, something important, but I didn’t think he was ready to talk about it quite yet.

“So, what is it?” His words broke through my quiet contentment.

“Hmm?”

I’d been vaguely staring at my hand as it rubbed his thigh, watching the way his short blond hair fell back against his skin when I moved my fingers. I turned my eyes to his instead, and he shook his head with what looked like a fond smile.

“It’s obviously a torch and garland…but why? What is it?”

“Oh.” I frowned slightly, biting the inside of my cheek as I thought. This conversation could go several different ways, and I wasn’t sure the most serious one – the I-got-it-to-remind-myself-not-to-get-involved-with-someone-who-didn’t-want-to-be-with-me-forever one – was my best option. I cleared my throat, sitting up partially and supporting my weight on my elbows as I looked down at the tattoo. “Well…I’ve always liked mythology – you know, social anthropologist and all…” I smiled at him. “It’s a nod to that…and, in particular, to Hymenaios.”

I don’t know what insanity possessed me that I would think he’d leave it at that, but of course, he didn’t.

“Hymenaios?”

I nodded and sighed, dropping back onto my pillow and putting my hands behind my head as I looked up at the ceiling. “Yeah…he wore a garland and carried a torch. He…ahh…he presided over wedding ceremonies. He was supposed to be at every wedding ceremony, or the marriage would be a disaster…” I finally glanced over at Jasper and found him watching me, his eyebrows drawn together with an inscrutable expression on his face. “I figured I’m doing a favor for all those people who have Kate and me take pictures at their weddings.”

It was the truth, but it was also a huge lie of omission.

Jasper nodded slowly, opening his mouth once before he closed it with a shake of his head. He looked back down at the tattoo and then up at me with a wicked gleam in his eyes. Before I knew what he was doing, he breathed, “You know I fantasized about licking this the night we met? Damn well going to do it now.” He ducked his head down, and I felt the tip of his tongue trace along the edge of the tattoo…

And then my knees flew into the air as I rolled to my side, curling up into a ball defensively as I actually fucking giggled.

“What the hell?” Jasper’s voice was amused, and it just made me giggle again. “You’re ticklish there, aren’t you?”

When I didn’t answer, he reached out, his fingers brushing over the spot that made me twitch and try to slap his hand away. He was laughing, his head lowering as he kissed and licked at my skin, his strong hands holding me in place as he rendered me completely useless. I was trying to beg him to stop, but I couldn’t catch my breath long enough to get the words out, so I turned toward him, my fingers shaking as I reached around to brush them against the back of his thigh.

He jerked, lifting his knee as he laughed. “Hey! Stop that!”

My shoulders shook as I laughed, and I trailed my fingers lightly up and down his inner thigh. He couldn’t stop his laughter as he retaliated, and we acted like absolute twelve-year-olds before he finally straddled my hips, grabbing both my hands and pinning them above my head. He leaned down and mumbled, “Truce?” against my lips.

A stupid smile was on my face as I nodded wordlessly. When he let go of my hands, I wrapped my arms around his waist, and he kissed me soundly, his lips hungry against mine. I groaned, feeling my body respond, and I was suddenly very aware of his cock hardening against my stomach.

“God damn…you aren’t the only one who’s insatiable…” he murmured, rolling off of me and stretching out beside me. He rested his hand on my hip as he gave me a lopsided grin.

I cupped his cheek, kissing him softly, and when I pulled away, he sighed. “Guess I better get going…”

I nodded, afraid to open my mouth because I knew I’d ask him to stay again, and I didn’t want to hear him say no.

He led the way this time, and the sight of his bare ass as he walked down the stairs brought back my playful good mood. I couldn’t resist smacking it, and he looked over his shoulder with wide-eyed disbelief, making me laugh.

We were chuckling as we got dressed in the den, finding our clothes scattered all over. I put his wet t-shirt in a plastic bag and brought it back out. He said, “I’ll ahh…get yours back to you soon.”

“No rush.” I smiled, kind of liking the idea of him carrying something of mine with him, as silly as that was.

All too soon, I was telling him good night in the doorway again, and I realized it was getting harder to let him go every night.

“Thank you…” I murmured, kissing him gently. “For dinner, for…everything.” I smirked without meaning to as I thought about everything else he’d given me.

He smiled as he answered quietly, “You’re welcome…thank you.”

My brow furrowed as I tried to figure out what he meant, but the look in his eyes warned me not to ask. I whispered, “You’re welcome,” and kissed him, holding him close for as long as I could before I let him go. I watched as he got into his car and drove away, feeling something in my chest ache in an unfamiliar way.

I was washing the last of the dishes from dessert when my phone beeped, and I pulled it from my pocket.

Just letting you know I got home okay. Thanks…I had fun. And I like you.

I bit my bottom lip, but nothing could contain my smile as I thought before typing out my response.

Thanks…everything was amazing. I like you, too.

I was humming as I finished up in the kitchen and went to bed, falling asleep with thoughts of Jasper in my head and his scent on my pillow.

By the time I woke up Saturday morning, that fragrance had faded, so I pulled on a pair of pajama pants and made my way downstairs, putting on the water for a cup of Earl Grey tea. I spent the day being lazy, just watching the Red Sox and not doing much else.

Jasper called in the middle of the game, and we watched the rest of it on the phone together. When it ended, I invited him over for leftovers since he’d apparently cooked for eight rather than just the two of us. When he arrived, we ate together comfortably and watched a few more episodes of Stargate Atlantis before I found myself telling him goodbye again.

The next week passed in much the same way. I helped Kate with developing some of the pictures we’d taken, and she came over Monday night to help me with the layout for my book. We worked in my office, where we both had computers set up, and we made a lot of progress as we talked about the trip to Nantucket we’d planned with our friends for the weekend after Labor Day. Kate was working on her portfolio and wanted to get some pictures of us on location out there as well as add a few black-and-whites of the landscape.

On Wednesday, I had a meeting with Zafrina, and we decided that some rural pictures would be great to help round out the graffiti I’d already gathered, so I spent some time researching possible places to travel for them. There were a few places that looked promising as day trips, and I began tentatively scheduling some time to head out.

Jasper was busy with work a lot, but I saw him for lunch here and there, and we spoke for at least a few minutes every day. He knew I was leaving on Saturday to visit my family in Tennessee, so when we went to lunch on Thursday, he asked if we could go out Friday night. I was seriously tempted to say yes – especially when he told me he wanted to take me out dancing – but I told him I was going to the Red Sox game with Carlisle and Esme.

When Esme had called during the barbecue, she’d pressed me for information about my “young man.” I told her he was there at the moment, and she’d said she understood – she wasn’t going to make me tell her how I felt just then. But she’d made me promise to go out with the two of them soon, and Friday’s game had been best for all of us.

I pouted a bit as I told him I couldn’t make it, and my smile beamed when he leaned across the table, kissing my pout away. “You’re too cute,” he said, and I felt my cheeks heat.

Unfortunately, when we parted ways at the bar where we’d eaten – a place called Emmet’s that I couldn’t wait to tell my cousin Emmett about – I realized I wouldn’t see him until after I got back. He had a business lunch the next day, and the game started right around the time he normally got home. I frowned as I told him goodbye, and he gave me a small smile.

“See you soon,” he murmured, kissing me once more before he hugged me.

My arms were around his waist, and I moved my hands upward, pressing between his shoulder blades as I buried my face in his neck, breathing him in. I kissed his neck and then pulled away, nodding as I smiled the best I could. He brushed the back of his fingers along my cheek and then winked, finally turning and walking away.

I couldn’t help but admire the way he looked in his dark gray suit as he got in his car to head back to work, and I was still standing on the sidewalk staring when he pulled away.

When I got home, I was inexplicably upset, just a little depressed, but I forced myself to go through the motions of doing my housework. I did a few loads of laundry and swept the patio before working in my darkroom for a while. Eventually, I realized that I was dragging my feet about packing, and I turned my thoughts to the happy parts of this trip – like the fact that I was spending a few days with Tanya, Rosalie, and Emmett, not to mention my aunt and uncle. I packed quickly, barely looking at what I was taking, and double-checked to make sure all the tiny shampoos and things I’d bought for my New York trip were still in my travel case.

It was right around six o’clock, and I’d just gone back downstairs when my phone rang. I smiled and didn’t even check the caller ID.

“Hey, Jazz.”

“Hey yourself…” he answered, and I smiled at his accent. We talked as we ate dinner, but I felt my strange funk settling in again as soon as we’d hung up the phone. I didn’t feel like doing anything – not even calling Kate – so I turned off the lights and went upstairs, stripping before crawling into bed.

I moved to my side, staring at the clock that was taunting me, telling me it was just after eight. With a sigh, I rolled onto my back, exhaling as I puffed out my cheeks and tried to think.

I was in this deep. Somehow without my even fully realizing it, I’d fallen for Jasper. I couldn’t fool myself with thinking I was falling for him anymore. It was done. I was his. I just hoped he didn’t fuck me over.

Even with that worry in the back of my mind, I couldn’t stop the smile on my lips, the giddy feeling that came with falling in love. I knew there was a lot I didn’t know about Jasper yet. We still had a long way to go…I couldn’t even tell him how I felt yet because it was so early, and I knew there were ghosts in his past that kept him afraid. But after so many almost-relationships where I hadn’t really cared about the guy, it felt fantastic to be with a man who made me feel alive.

I lay there thinking about him for the longest time, remembering his smile and the way his eyes danced when he was up to no good. I thought about the little ways he let me know he cared, even if he couldn’t quite say it yet – the texts to tell me he was okay, the phone calls I knew were just to hear my voice, the dinner he’d cooked, and the way he’d searched out Kate to apologize and find out my favorite foods.

The longer I lay there, the more I started thinking about him in minute detail, remembering the husky sound of his voice when he cursed, the exquisite look of pleasure that bordered on pain as he climaxed…imagining the way it would feel when we did fulfill Jasper’s fantasy.

I moaned softly, shifting my hips beneath the sheets as I remembered Jasper making my fantasy come true the week before. I could still see him there, kneeling on the floor with his lips wrapped around my cock, those sky blue eyes gazing up at me.

“Fuck.” My curse was soft, a noise of longing rather than annoyance, and my fingers were trailing lightly along my length.

I opened my eyes to the darkness of my room and reached over, pulling my bottle of lube from the drawer in my nightstand. I grabbed a couple of tissues, glancing at the clock to see that I’d been thinking of Jasper for well over an hour, and then I settled back in bed, closing my eyes once more.

I gave myself over to my memories, my slick hand wrapping around my hard shaft and pumping with no visual stimulation other than the images behind my eyelids. For once, it was memories of being with Jasper rather than fantasies that fueled my desire, and the distinction made me smile as my hips lifted from the mattress. I came with images of him doing the same, and once I’d cleaned up a little, I was able to fall into a restful sleep.

On Friday, I alternated between antsy and listless, and I was frustrated with my inability to focus. I tried to get a little work done in my darkroom, but it just couldn’t hold my attention, and after a quick chicken salad sandwich for lunch, I found myself in my walk-in closet, pulling out my guitar case.

It had been a disturbingly long time since I’d played, and as I sat out on my bedroom balcony tuning the guitar, the memory of why, exactly, it had been so long came rushing back to me.

“Mmm…play that again, love…” Alistair’s soft voice made me smile, his accent thicker the way it always was when he was tired.

I glanced over at him, warmth spreading in my chest at the sight of him in my bed. He was lying nude, the sheet twisted haphazardly across his waist, and his arm was thrown over his eyes, a lazy smile on his lips. As I watched, he lowered his arm and opened his eyes, turning his face to find me where I sat at the foot of the bed.

I carefully put the guitar on the floor and crawled over to him, murmuring against his lips. “I thought you were supposed to be going to sleep…”

He smiled softly, his arms snaking around my waist as he pulled me close to kiss me. “I am…just one more song, my heart. Please? I can’t get enough of your voice when you sing…”

I laughed softly, shaking my head before I kissed him again and then pulled away. I ran my fingers through my hair as I picked up the guitar and sat on the edge of the bed, a little closer to him this time. As I began strumming the opening notes, he whispered, “You spoil me,” and settled back with his left arm over his eyes.

“Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup…” I watched his lips curve into a smile as I sang, the fingers of his right hand idly tracing patterns on my thigh.

Clenching my jaw, I forced the memory away, concentrating instead on the adjustments needed to get the instrument in tune again. It wasn’t that there were bad memories associated with it – on the contrary, they had been some of the happiest times with Alistair. But after him, I’d stopped playing for a while, only bringing the guitar out here and there and never playing for more than a song or two.

That afternoon, I played for several hours, and by the time I’d stopped, my fingers were aching, calluses beginning to develop again. It felt damn good.

I stopped only when it was time to get ready for the game. I took a quick shower and then headed out early, stopping by Grapevine to eat before I met Carlisle and Esme. When I got to the stadium, I made my way inside, heading for the section where they would be seated. Like my dad and me, Carlisle had been an unwavering Red Sox fan all his life, and he’d held four season tickets for years.

As soon as I started down the stairs, I saw Esme’s caramel-colored ponytail swaying as she reached out, pointing toward the field while she said something to Carlisle. He was nodding, shielding his eyes from the lowering sun as he followed her gaze. When he saw whatever it was, he turned to her, smiling. He caught sight of me and raised a hand in greeting, and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I was struck again by how young they still seemed.

My parents’ age.

They’d been my parents’ closest friends. Carlisle was dad’s business partner, his best friend from college, and he’d been the one who introduced my parents after he met Elizabeth McCarty at a charity function. She was a nurse but was there as a volunteer, helping raise money and awareness for child abuse, and Carlisle had been struck by her intelligence and sense of humor. The way she’d teased him had put him in mind of my dad, and he’d arranged for them to meet as soon as they both could. According to Carlisle, my mom and dad had connected immediately, and they’d been inseparable from the start. They dated for a couple of years before they married and had me soon after.

As I made my way down the narrow aisle toward them, I studied them, noting the way they were starting to show some signs of aging. Carlisle had a touch of gray at his temples, and Esme’s laugh lines and the crinkles at the corners of her eyes showed how genuinely happy she usually was. Still, they were not yet sixty, and I felt that old sense of melancholy I often had around them – any time I realized how incredibly early my parents had been taken from me.

That feeling faded as soon as Esme wrapped me in a warm hug, kissing my cheek and telling me how good it was to see me. She let me go so I could hug Carlisle and then said, “You’re not eating enough. When was the last time you had a home-cooked meal?”

I glanced over to find her standing with her hands on her hips, her head tilted as she studied me. I really hadn’t been cooking lately, and I felt the blush on my cheeks as I thought about the last homemade meal I’d had. “Umm…actually, Jasper cooked for me last weekend.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, he did, did he?”

When I nodded, she smiled and sat down, pulling me down beside her while I shot a look at Carlisle over her head. He smiled at me and gave a small shrug, reaching out to hold Esme’s hand while she launched into a series of questions about Jasper. I began answering, and as we talked, the game started. Throughout the early innings, our conversation started and stopped, interrupted when we jumped to our feet, cheering. Carlisle joined in as we caught up on what had been happening for all of us since the last time we were together, but the topic always came back to Jasper eventually.

Esme seemed pleased with what she heard, and it was during the seventh inning stretch that she took my hand with a serious expression. “I’m happy for you, dear. He sounds like a very nice young man, and I expect that we’ll meet him soon.” She arched an eyebrow pointedly, waiting for my nod before she continued. “Now, tell me…is he treating you right?”

Carlisle cleared his throat. “Esme…”

She glanced over at him and gave him a small smile. “I’m just worried.”

“I know, love…” He kissed her temple, putting his arm around her shoulders. “But Edward’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.”

She frowned, pursing her lips as she considered his words. She looked around us, taking in the crowd before she leaned a little closer, lowering her voice for me alone. “Edward, dear, I know you’re grown and you don’t need an old woman interfering…” She batted away my protest with a wave of her hand. “I just…I think of you as my own, the son I never had. I just want to see you happy.”

Her eyes were shimmering, and the thought flitted through my mind that only Esme could get me choked up at a Red Sox game surrounded by screaming fans. I didn’t trust my voice, nodding at her before I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer so I could kiss her forehead. Carlisle’s arm fell down her back as she hugged me and whispered, “That’s all I’ll say for now. I promise. But I do want to meet Jasper.”

I chuckled softly, kissing her hair once more before I let her go. Carlisle’s arm settled back around her shoulders, and we spent the rest of our time focused on the game. The Red Sox absolutely stomped the White Sox, winning eight to nothing, and our voices were hoarse from cheering by the time we parted ways in the parking lot.

As I drove away, I was keenly aware of how close I was to Jasper’s place. Esme’s questions and seeing her with Carlisle had brought my feelings for him even more into focus, and I felt a strong pull to see him again. Tonight. Before I flew away and was guaranteed to spend a few days away from him.

Without even looking at the time or thinking about what I was doing, I pulled my phone from my pocket and called him.

He answered on the second ring, sounding breathless. “Edward. Hey…”

I smiled at the sound of his voice, the fingers of my left hand tightening on the steering wheel. “Hey, Jazz…hope I didn’t wake you.”

He laughed, saying that he was nowhere near tired enough to sleep yet. We chatted briefly, and then he said, “Is everything okay?”

I frowned slightly, pulling into a parallel parking space on the side of the road so I didn’t get too far away from his place. “Yeah, everything’s alright. I just…” I just really fucking miss you and need to hold you. “I was just wondering if it would be okay if I stopped by for a little while?” My voice rose at the end, turning my statement into an uncertain question.

“Oh.” He paused, and I sighed, wondering if I should tell him never mind. I traced the pattern on the steering wheel, my eyes following the motion of my fingers as I realized that part of my mind had been planning to make Jasper’s fantasy come true. Tonight…if he let me come over. “I was just heading out for a ride, actually.”

Frowning again, I nodded, but before I could tell him I understood, he said, “I’d like to see you, though. Would it be okay if I came over to your place instead?”

Furrowing my brow, I thought about his words, trying to figure out if he was being honest or not. In the end, I decided it didn’t particularly matter – I wanted to see him. Needed to see him before I left.

I told him that sounded good, and as we hung up, I pulled back out into the street, turning to head toward my house. I was conflicted, feeling happy that I would see Jasper soon but upset that he seemed to be keeping me at a distance. I knew he hadn’t planned to see me tonight – I’d told him I’d be busy, so it was really luck that he was even at home – but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was keeping me at arms’ length for some reason.

As I parked across the street from my house, I tried to force my worries away, realizing I was probably projecting some of the residual fears from Alistair onto Jasper. He didn’t deserve that – he was a different man and had done nothing to earn my distrust.

As soon as I’d let myself inside, I unbuttoned the Red Sox jersey I was wearing, letting it hang open over my red t-shirt. It had been a gift from Carlisle and Esme for my twenty-fifth birthday a few years ago and had my last name along with the number 9 – Ted Williams’ number – on the back. I kicked off my shoes, shoving them haphazardly beneath the bench as I hung up my keys and went straight to the kitchen. There, I opened a bottle of wine and put on a pot of coffee, unsure which Jasper would prefer.

Despite my vague misgivings, the sound of my doorbell put a wide smile on my face, and I hurried down the hall to let him in. He had his helmet in hand, his jacket already unzipped, and as soon as he stepped inside, he pressed me against the wall, kissing me thoroughly before he pulled away with a hum and drawled, “This is a nice surprise…”

His content smile chased away my worries, and I pressed another kiss against his lips before I reached over to lock the door. I took his helmet and jacket, hanging them as he took off his shoes, and we soon found ourselves seated on my couch with glasses of wine in hand and soft music playing in the background.

We talked comfortably, but the playful mood that was so often around us was gone, and I kept feeling myself slide back into that strange depression. Jasper frowned more often than normal, growing quiet as he glanced away. I asked if he was okay, and he nodded, smiling at me before he blushed deeply and cleared his throat. I asked what was wrong, and he was carefully studying the glass of wine in his hands when he whispered huskily, “It’s stupid.”

I frowned, taking the glass from him and putting it on the coffee table before I took both his hands in mine. “I doubt that. What is it?”

He bit the inside of his cheek, shrugging before he sighed and finally looked up at me. “I think I’m gonna miss you.”

My smile was wide, nearly making my cheeks ache as I tried to control my reaction to those simple words. “That’s not stupid, Jazz…” He smiled in response to both my words and my expression. “I’m definitely going to miss you.”

“Really?” His voice was higher pitched, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Of course. How many men do you think I call up late at night to ask if I can see them?”

The blush on his cheeks was endearing as he shrugged, and then he leaned forward, resting his head on my shoulder as I wrapped my arms around him. It felt…good. Right.

And then he sighed, and I frowned, feeling my mood dip again. “This sucks,” I finally said.

“What does?” He didn’t raise his head, putting his arms around my waist. I rested my cheek against the top of his head, thinking for a moment about how much I should say before I answered.

“I’m just getting to know you. I know it’s only a few days, but I don’t want to leave.” And it sucks that I was afraid to tell you that, too.

I felt rather than saw his smile, and he nodded against my shoulder. I was frustrated with the way I was tiptoeing around Jasper – and even more with my instinctive realization that it was necessary.

“Now this is stupid,” I said, lifting my head. He looked up at me, confusion and even a tinge of hurt on his face. I grinned at him, forcing a lighter mood.

“Why the fuck are we wasting time sitting around being emo bitches?”

He snickered and shook his head, reaching out for his wine. He drained the glass and then wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb before he said, “What did you have in mind?”

I tilted my head, thinking for a moment. “Hmm…we never got around to that bath the other night. You game?”

“You want to take a bath with me?”

I shrugged. “Yeah…baths can be relaxing. Maybe it’ll make us feel better.”

He smiled a little shyly and nodded. “Let’s do it.”

My eyes widened slightly at his choice of words, particularly when I’d been thinking about doing just that earlier. I felt a little off somehow, not quite in the mood for something like that, and I wondered if it might actually be a good idea to spend a few days away after all – get a little distance and some time to think. I tried to ignore the little voice that told me I’d have the entire next weekend away from Jasper, too. I realized I hadn’t told him about that trip yet, but I decided on the spot to wait until after I’d gotten back. We were both feeling glum enough without adding to it.

Perhaps perversely, the realization that Jasper was upset that I was leaving helped lift my mood. I finished off my wine and led him to my bathroom, where I started the water in the tub. Jasper leaned against the bathroom counter, crossing his arms over his chest. As we waited for the water to warm, I went to my closet, taking down the two robes hanging on the back of the door.

When I brought them back to the bathroom and hung them on the hooks by the tub, I noticed Jasper eyeing them thoughtfully. I was amused by how in sync our minds were at times – I knew I’d be wondering about that shit, too, if we were at his house – so I said, “They’re both mine…” I’d gotten rid of anything of Alistair’s long ago. He’d taken the final small box of his belongings when he’d last visited in May.

Jasper nodded, a grin tugging at his lips. I stopped up the tub and then let my jersey fall off my arms, putting it in the hamper before I pulled off my t-shirt and balled it up, tossing it in as well. By the time I started unbuttoning my pants, Jasper was standing beside me, his hands brushing mine away as he took over. He kissed along my neck slowly, sweetly, and then he pulled back with a chuckle when he pushed my pants down my thighs.

“My, my…you do own underwear…”

I rolled my eyes as I stepped out of my jeans, standing in my boxer briefs and socks as I began to undress Jasper. He was wearing a white long-sleeved t-shirt that I quickly cast aside. I peppered his shoulders and chest with kisses as I teased him, reminding him that I’d worn underwear on our date as well.

He hmm’d and said, “That’s just ‘cause you knew you couldn’t control yourself around me…”

I shrugged as I unzipped his pants, kissing beneath his ear. “What can I say? You’re right. Less chance of me completely embarrassing myself that way.”

He laughed, wrapping his arms around me as we kissed. Our lips moved slowly, sensually, and I smiled at the feel of his smooth skin beneath my fingertips as I trailed them along his back. We finished undressing, and I put Jasper’s clothes on the counter before I turned off the water.

He finally glanced over at the bath, raising an eyebrow. “Bubbles?”

I grinned at him. “I do shit right. You know that.”

He smiled in response, and I said, “Oh, speaking of…candles or no? Up to you.”

He was so fucking adorable, standing nude in my bathroom as he ran his fingers through his messy blond hair. He looked at a loss, so I chuckled softly, opening the cabinet and motioning to the jarred candles I kept there.

He bit his bottom lip, and then said, “Candles?” as if he were asking my permission.

“Make yourself useful, Mr. Whitlock.” I grinned at the expression on his face as I opened a drawer, pulling out a lighter and handing it to him. He narrowed his eyes at me before one corner of his lips turned up into a smirk, and he pulled the candles out, lighting them as he set them around the ledge. As he was finishing up, I flipped off the light, taking a moment to let my eyes adjust.

“What are you waiting for?” I teased, climbing into the tub and turning to look at him. He followed just behind, sitting at the opposite end so he was facing me. My feet were to either side of his hips, but he sat with his legs drawn up, his ankles crossed in a position that looked incredibly uncomfortable. I smiled at him, reaching between us to grab his feet. I pulled them gently, settling his legs on top of mine. He was tense, his shoulders taut as he put his heels against the floor of the tub and kept the weight of his legs off of mine.

“Relax,” I murmured, taking one of his feet in my hands and rubbing it gently.

As I massaged his arch with my thumb, he slipped down a little deeper in the water, leaning back against the side of the tub and letting his head fall onto the edge as he sighed softly. “Damn…”

I smiled, encouraged by his posture and his words, and I massaged each of his feet in turn. He moaned quietly, sighing appreciatively as I worked and tried to ignore my body’s natural response to the sounds he was making.

When I finished, I trailed my hands lazily up and down his calves, letting my head drop back onto the edge of the tub as well. I closed my eyes, the flickering light of the candles dancing across my eyelids as I inhaled deeply, relaxing in the warmth of the tub. The fragrances around me were soothing, and I relished the comfortable weight of Jasper’s legs across my thighs. Reclining there was utterly comforting, putting me in mind of winter nights spent wrapped in one of Aunt Livy’s quilts as I sat in front of the fire listening to the sounds of my family around me, and I just let all my worries go.

I must’ve dozed a bit in the stillness because I was next aware of the water being displaced, washing up on my chest. I opened my eyes to find Jasper’s face hovering over me, and then his body was on mine, the warmth of his skin and the water making me smile before he settled fully on me, and I moaned loudly.

He was hard, his arousal pressing against my abdomen, and his lips were kissing me eagerly, blazing trails across my cheeks and down my neck, circling my nipple before he sucked on it gently, teasing it with his tongue. I was a little disoriented, my hands finding their way to his hair as I worked to catch up. He bit my nipple lightly, and I murmured, “Fuck…” as my hips shifted, brushing against his.

At the sound of my voice, he lifted his head, his lips finding mine as he kissed me fully. Our lips parted, our tongues brushing, and I was suddenly wide awake, my hands roaming Jasper’s back, tracing the deep indentation along his spine, squeezing his ass. He tasted heavenly, and I moaned as my legs wrapped around him, pulling him even closer.

He broke our kiss, his face moving to my ear, where he whispered, “Please…”

My hands clasped his face as I tilted his head up, nipping at his chin. “Please what, baby? Tell me what you want, Jazz…”

His hips rocked against me, one arm wrapping around my waist as he held himself up with the other. “You,” was his quiet reply.

He was kissing my neck, so I gently pulled his head up again, looking into his eyes as I tried to read his mood. Desire was blazing in his light blue eyes, enhanced by the fitful flames of the candles, but there was something else lurking there in the depths, something stronger.

I ran my thumb along his jaw before kissing him chastely. Then I smiled and said, “Water’s getting cold…let’s get out?”

He reached out, bracing his hands on either side of the tub as he pushed himself up. I appreciated the sight of the water cascading down his body, and I swallowed hard at the sight of his obvious arousal in the weak light. He reached out, pulling down two towels from the shelf, and he held one out to me before he began to dry off. I noticed that he didn’t take his eyes off of me, his gaze traveling over my nude form in a way that made me feel wanted. I followed his lead, drinking him in as the candles cast shadows, bathing his body in a warm, golden glow that showed off his lean muscles. I felt myself growing harder, my body yearning for his touch, and I couldn’t dry myself fast enough.

He reached out silently for my towel, and when I handed it to him, he gave me one of the robes before tossing both our towels into the hamper. I was a little confused about why, exactly, we were getting dressed, but when he pulled on the other robe, tying it closed, I did the same. Then he stepped right next to me, cupping my cheek as he kissed me gently. I could feel him holding back, reining in the reckless desire he’d felt in the tub, but I couldn’t decide if I wanted him to restrain himself or not.

I made up my mind, kissing him harder and parting his lips as I began walking him backwards toward my bedroom. My hands were at his waist, wrapped around the belt of his robe, while his were around my shoulders. When the backs of his legs hit my mattress, he sat and then shifted, pulling me with him as he stretched out on my bed.

I was lying partially on top of him, but he rolled us, pressing me into the mattress as his weight spread over me. He never broke our kiss as his hands began caressing my face, his fingers tracing the join of my neck and shoulder before they trailed further down. He lifted himself as he opened my robe over my chest, and his fingers found my nipple, pinching and rubbing lightly as he teased me.

“I want you,” he whispered against my lips, his hips rolling against mine. His words warmed me, and it felt like he was saying something more, something significant – as if this were a confession of longing for something greater than my body. I didn’t know what to say, how to respond without frightening him, so I ran my fingers tenderly through his hair, watching as he reached between us, his fingers playing with the belt of my robe before I felt it give way.

I pushed his shoulders, rolling him onto his back while I straddled his thighs. It was my turn to lavish his chest with kisses, tugging on his nipple rings as I worked at the belt at his waist. I pushed the terrycloth aside, my hands exploring the planes of his stomach before venturing lower to cup his erection. I inhaled sharply at the slick feeling of the pre-cum dripping from his slit, and I wrapped my hand around his shaft, pumping him slowly as I moved to kiss his lips again.

Jasper tugged at my robe, and I lifted up for a moment, shrugging out of it so he could toss it to the floor. I could feel his hard length twitching beneath me, aching for relief, and all I could think was that I wanted to taste him. I trailed kisses over his chin and along his neck, kissing every inch of his chest before I made my way slowly down to his abdomen. I traced his deep V with my tongue, smiling against his skin when he jumped, the light contact tickling him. His fingers were gripping my hair, and I was confused when I felt him tug lightly.

I glanced up, finding him watching me. “Wait…” he whispered, pulling me back up and guiding me to the middle of the bed. As soon as I was lying down once more, he moved, throwing his robe to the floor before he stretched out beside me the opposite way. His warm breath washed over my erection as a quiet noise of longing escaped my lips. His hips were just in front of my face, and I pulled them closer, licking from the tip of his hard cock all the way down, taking one of his balls between my lips. I felt Jasper doing the same, mimicking my actions, and I couldn’t stop my hips from thrusting toward him.

His hands gripped my thighs as his warm mouth enveloped my cock, and I uttered a curse before I hurried to do the same. I licked along his slit, tasting the salty liquid before I took him as far as I could, feeling his head brush against the back of my mouth. I could feel him all around me – his tongue licking my length, his lips kissing my thighs, his fingers caressing my skin.

There were no words to describe how it felt – the difference that came with us expressing our mutual adoration as we brought each other pleasure as one. I couldn’t tell the difference between his moans and mine, the sounds blending together in one symphony of desire and satisfaction.

His arm wrapped around my hip, his fingers pressing that sensitive juncture between my legs as my mouth began to suck him in earnest. My tongue swirled around his head, and he broke away, uttering a plaintive, “Oh god…Edward…” before he moaned, and my cock was in his mouth once more.

Our bodies writhed together, hips pumping slowly as our heads moved back and forth, hands traveling as far as they could reach before journeying back to wrap around shafts. There was heat and moisture and hard bodies, and it was all an indescribable paradise that had me panting all too soon, my hand stroking Jasper as I licked at his head, unable to keep up. I could feel his hand speeding along my length, and I heard him murmuring, “You make me feel so damn good…please, Edward, please…”

I couldn’t comprehend most of what he was saying, but the sound of my name tumbling from his lips mixed with the seductive sounds of his own pleasure amplified each sensation, driving me toward the brink.

Jasper hardened even more in my hand, his thighs clenching as a final quiet “Fuck” reached my ears. I wrapped my lips around his head, his hot release filling my mouth as I stroked him. His hand stilled, but I couldn’t let him stop. I was so close…my hips took over, thrusting into his waiting hand, which tightened around me once more. I felt the warmth of Jasper’s lips around my head, and then I was moaning as ecstasy wracked my body. I turned my face away, whispering his name as I wrapped my arm around his hip, my forehead against his thighs.

We lay there for a while, coming down slowly from our orgasmic high, and then I felt soft kisses on my thighs before Jasper rolled over onto his back. I propped myself up on my elbow, and he raised his head to smile at me. I reached for him, and he shifted around to lie beside me. He rested on his back, his arm spread just below the pillow beside him, and I settled in with my head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me, his hand resting on my hip, and we just relaxed, holding each other while my hand rubbed his chest lightly and his fingers trailed along my hipbone.

Even though the acts we’d just committed were nothing we hadn’t done before, there was a vastly different feeling in the air. I wasn’t sure if it was because we were in my bed or because we’d acted in unison rather than taking turns…or because our feelings for each other were changing, growing, and we both noticed, even if we weren’t acknowledging them out loud. It was probably some combination of all of those things, but whatever it was, it felt more like we were expressing love rather than just getting off…and for the first time, I allowed myself to really embrace the idea of a future with Jasper.

As my head rose and fell with the regular motion of his breathing, I imagined taking him to Tennessee to meet my family there. I could hear Emmett’s coarse language and suggestive jokes, especially when he realized Jasper’s nipples were pierced, which he undoubtedly would. Emmett and Alistair had never quite understood each other, but I had a feeling he and Jazz would hit it off well. Probably a little too well for my own good. I smiled, my fingers growing still on his chest as I thought of how the rest of them would react – Tanya welcoming, Rosalie gruff until she was sure he was worthy, Aunt Livy mothering as always…and Uncle Everett would treat him like any other man. He still didn’t know exactly how to take my sexual orientation, though it didn’t affect the way he regarded me.

A soft rumbling broke through my musings, and I stifled a chuckle when I realized Jasper had drifted off to sleep. I lifted my head and spent a few seconds watching him lying there with his lips parted as he snored lightly. He looked so comfortable, so peaceful. I seriously considered just turning off the lamp and covering us up, but when I thought about the way Jasper had reacted to the idea of staying with me…something in my gut warned me that wouldn’t be a good idea.

I reached out, lightly tracing his lower lip with my thumb. He didn’t stir, so I settled back on his chest and rested there for a moment. Then I shifted, “accidentally” bumping into his side as I yawned loudly. He gave one great snore and then jerked with a “Huh?” I bit my lip to keep from laughing as I sat up, running my fingers through my hair.

He sat up beside me, his eyes a little weak as he blinked at the light and scratched the back of his head. “Hey…” he murmured softly.

I couldn’t help but chuckle then as I leaned in, kissing him gently. “Hey there…”

He yawned, flopping back on the bed and rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. When he lowered his arms again, he said, “Come here,” his voice thick and rough with sleep.

I lay down beside him again, and he kissed me deeply, his lips soft against mine as our tongues moved languidly together. He broke away with a hum and flashed me a small smile before he sighed. “Guess I better get going before I pass out...” He glanced at the clock, seeing it was just before two. “Shit! And you need to get some sleep. Can’t have you missing your flight.”

I frowned at the reminder but nodded. Before I could stop myself, the words were out of my mouth. “If you’re tired, why don’t you just stay here?”

Fucking. Idiot.

I shoved away the berating voice, repressing my sigh when Jasper’s eyes widened. I felt my jaw clench before I forced it to relax, moderating my tone. “If…” I paused, clearing my throat. “If you don’t want to sleep with me, there are plenty of other beds for you to crash in.”

I didn’t really understand the hurt that flashed in his eyes. Wasn’t I the one that should be upset with the way he always seemed to want to run off?

I decided I’d said enough and just let the silence fill the room as we watched each other. His brow furrowed, and I could practically see the effort as he thought. Finally, he sighed, reaching out to take my hand.

“Aww, hell, Edward. Look, it’s not you…or maybe it is. I don’t know. I’m just…” He frowned, and I’d never seen him at a loss quite like he was just then. “I…fuck!” He looked away, pulling one knee up and resting his elbow against it while he propped his forehead in his palm. I let him have a moment and then squeezed his hand.

When he looked up, I said, “It’s okay, Jazz. You’re not ready. I get it.”

There was a pleading look in his eyes when he spoke next. “I think…for you…I could be. Just not…now.”

A smile played on my lips as I considered his words. This man I was falling in love with obviously had some baggage, some issues we would need to work through…but I felt hope at his words, at the acknowledgement that there was something more between us. I thought about how to respond, but no words seemed to fit. In the end, I just leaned over and kissed him. He returned the kiss fervently, and as we were parting, he whispered, “I like you.”

“I like you, too,” I answered, watching him for a moment with a small smile before I lightened the mood, tickling his inner thigh. He retaliated, but we ended things before they led us straight back into bed – though I, for one, would’ve had no problems with that whatsoever.

Jasper got dressed again while I threw on one of the discarded robes. I walked him downstairs in silence; not a word was spoken as he put on his boots and jacket. When he stood again, he hooked a hand through the belt of my robe and pulled me close, kissing me deeply. We said our goodbyes quietly, and as he was walking out the door, he turned to me and murmured, “You be careful now, okay?” He gave me a lopsided grin. “I want you to come back in one piece.”

I nodded, smiling in response, and I stood in the doorway until he disappeared at the end of the street. When all was quiet again, I walked back inside and up to my bedroom, where I picked up my phone and went out onto the balcony. I sat there looking at the stars over the Boston skyline until my phone beeped with my nightly text from him.

I’m home. Let me know you got there okay tomorrow? Miss you.

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Chapter 7 ~ Chapter 9

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