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The clock on the microwave repeatedly drew my eyes as I poured myself a cup of coffee and added cream and sugar. The green numbers taunted me, reminding me that one-half of my family was growing nearer yet still much too far away.
I sat down at the island in our silent kitchen, closing my eyes to allow myself a few minutes to simply breathe. I was always nervous when Jeff traveled, but I had never counted every second quite like I had this trip. Nearly twenty-four hours ago, his plane had left Cape Town on its way to Amsterdam, and we’d been largely out of touch ever since. I knew that, right now, he should be somewhere over the Atlantic on his way to New York before he would finally make the last leg home to Vermont.
One more glance at the clock showed me that it was 5:14; I had another seven or so hours to fill before I could be reunited with my husband.
“And our new son…” I whispered the words aloud, smiling as I took a sip of the soothing, warm nectar.
I hadn’t slept – at all, really – but I didn’t need the caffeine to keep me alert. My body and mind were buzzing, both with excitement and anxiety as I tried to imagine how our family would change after today. Before they had taken off from Cape Town, Jeff had texted a picture of him holding our son as he rested his head on Jeff's shoulder. I pulled out my phone and looked at it again with a soft smile on my lips as I thought back to how we had gotten to this point.
Over two years ago, Jeff had volunteered to do a twelve-week stint in South Africa at an orphanage, teaching kids music and conversational English. Within three days of his arrival, he’d written me a long email talking about one child in particular who shied away from everyone…except him. He’d been instantly enamored with the one-year-old boy with bright eyes and a rare, timid smile. He'd sent me pictures of the boy and wrote about how no one knew what had happened to Dumisani’s parents. He’d been found abandoned in an alley and brought to the orphanage, where he’d been ever since. Not knowing his name – or if he even had one – one of the workers had given him a Zulu name, and he’d been called by it ever since.
I could tell from Jeff’s tone, from the way the words seemed to jump off my screen, full of unchecked emotion, that he had fallen hard for the little boy. Even though he didn’t say it, I could sense that he felt a bond, some sort of kinship, with Dumisani, and my instincts were proven right as email after email – and phone call after phone call – brought me more news about Dumi. Jeff had been as proud as any parent when Dumisani had said his first words and taken his first steps, both during those three months that he’d been working with him. When I’d picked my husband up at the airport, I could see it in his eyes. He was thrilled to be home, kissing me hard and spinning our daughter Tessa around until she squealed, but he’d left a little piece of himself in South Africa.
Finishing my cup of coffee, I walked over to the sink and began washing the mug automatically, although chances were good that I’d have another cup before long. I went to the oven and turned on the light to check the sourdough loaves I’d put in to bake. It was earlier than I normally would have made the bread for the day, but I wanted to get as much work out of the way as I could.
A little over a decade ago, Jeff and I had decided to open a bed and breakfast in the farmhouse he’d inherited from his grandparents. At first, we’d lived in one of the bedrooms, but as we grew older and our relationship became more solid, we began to think about having a family of our own someday. Jeff had proposed to me on my twenty-eighth birthday, and we’d decided to build the three-bedroom addition onto the farmhouse instead of taking a honeymoon trip. Of course, in true Jeff fashion, he’d surprised me with a proper honeymoon as well, presenting me with the reservation information as we opened gifts after our private civil ceremony surrounded by the people we loved.
I smiled as I moved around the kitchen, opening cabinets and pulling out the ingredients I needed to bake a cake. I’d promised Tessa we’d decorate one when she woke up this morning, and I knew my daughter well enough to know I’d best keep that promise. As I measured and mixed, I thought about that trip.
We hadn’t gone far – just to the coast of Maine, where we’d stayed in another bed and breakfast…but rarely left the bed. I couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped me and the smile that settled on my lips as I thought about the way he’d been bursting with pride every time he introduced me as his husband. I shook my head, pouring the cake batter into a pan before sliding it into the oven. I took a few minutes to clean up the dishes I’d used and then glanced at the clock once more – still not even 6:00.
I set the portable timer for both the bread and the cake and carried it with me as I went back into our part of the farmhouse. Tessa would likely be up before long, so I decided to enjoy the moments of silence as much as I could before the madness descended.
As much as I was looking forward to today, I felt unsettled. I needed something familiar, so I pulled one of our photo albums from the bottom shelf of the bookcase in the living room. I sat on the couch, stretching my legs out on the cushions as I settled the album on my lap and opened it. I propped my elbow on the back of the couch and tangled my fingers in my hair, idly playing with the short waves as I flipped through the pages.
The album I’d chosen was the one we’d made for Tessa – the one with our story – and my fingers traced Jeff as I looked at the earliest pictures. They were from our college days, where we’d spent hours in classes neither of us enjoyed. We were both accounting majors for practical but completely wrong-for-us reasons. Jeff, of course, planned to help with the family farm by keeping books and the like, while I went into it because it was all I had known. Both of my parents were in the field, and it had just seemed natural that I would follow in their footsteps.
As I looked down at a picture of me hiking part of the Appalachian Trail, it was easy to see why the career had been such a terrible fit for me. For both of us. Jeff and I enjoyed freedom. A nine-to-five job was not for either of us, but we hadn’t known that when we met in an economics study group in what seemed like a different lifetime. It had taken years of exploration and discussion, arguments and understanding for each of us to realize what we truly wanted to do.
When Jeff had discovered my love for cooking, he’d encouraged me to go to culinary school, and I had done the same for him when I heard the passion in his voice as he talked about volunteering abroad. I’d pushed for him to join the Peace Corps, even though the thought of more than two years without him killed me.
It had actually caused an argument – one of our first true fights – because he had thought that I was pushing him away when nothing was further from the truth. In the end, he had come to me with the idea of putting our degrees – both my culinary one and the two in accounting that were collecting dust – to work for us by opening a bed and breakfast. I had balked at first – not because I didn’t like the idea, but because I loved it. It seemed like there was nothing in it for him, though. I didn’t want him giving up his dreams to settle down in a way that would make only me happy.
He’d sat me down and explained that what would make him happy was to have a full life with me. He wanted it all: a family, stability, passion…a future. But he wasn’t giving up on his aspirations to volunteer and help all over the world. Rather, he planned to help with the bed and breakfast during the majority of the year, and take shorter trips – a few months here and there – to do what he loved.
It was an odd arrangement, to be sure. I knew it wouldn’t work for most people, but right from the start, it had been perfect for us. The longest he’d ever been away from me was for a nine-month trip to South America not long after I turned thirty. It had been far too long for either of us, and we’d both been miserable well before he came home. After that, we’d settled on around three months at a time. It was long enough for him to get to dig in and really experience the culture, but short enough that he was back before we became too depressed.
I turned the pages, watching as we grew up right before my eyes. We put on weight and lost it. Our hair grew and was cropped short before growing long again. There were even pictures of Jeff with that terrible mustache he’d sported for about a year before I’d finally convinced him to shave it. Despite the many different looks and changing fashions, though, the one thing that had stayed the same over the last eighteen years was the way we looked at each other.
I smiled reflexively as I saw us gazing into each others’ eyes. Jeff’s hand was often on my knee, or mine was reaching out to brush his hair from his forehead. We were nearly always touching, some small contact to remind each other of the love we shared. We’d been only twenty when we went on our first date, but we’d known from the start that we were meant to be together. We were just a perfect fit – in every way.
Jeff had been the first man I’d ever brought home – the only man – and it had taken some time for my parents to come to terms with my being gay. Jeff’s family had known for much longer, as he’d had boyfriends as early as high school, but in the end, both sides of our family supported us. There were pictures of them sprinkled throughout, opening presents at Christmas and shooting off fireworks on the Fourth of July. We were blessed to have them; I knew too many men who were not nearly so lucky, and I was thankful every day of our lives that our families were so involved.
Jeff’s whole family lived in houses spread across the same land. Our bed and breakfast was near the southern end, and his parents’ home was nearby. Josh, Jeff's youngest brother, was in his late twenties but unmarried, and he still lived with their parents – an arrangement that thrilled Tessa, as it meant that her favorite uncle was so close. His other brother Caleb lived with his family in a newer house near the lake on the western side, where they tended sheep. Caleb's wife Amy spun and dyed wool in between taking care of their two little boys, David - though we all called him Dave or Little David to avoid confusion with his grandpa - and Matt, who was just learning to walk.
Sara, Jeff’s only sister and the youngest of the family, lived in our old room in the bed and breakfast. She’d taken over the business side, booking reservations and playing hostess, while I cooked all the meals and led hiking expeditions through the nearby forests. Jeff took care of the repairs and upkeep on the building itself, though I knew how to do most of it if he wasn’t around.
In the early days, I’d sometimes felt lonely being surrounded by Jeff’s family. They were so close-knit that I’d felt like I was intruding. I was an only child, so when my parents moved to Boston, I was left alone in Vermont.
Well, as alone as I could be, surrounded by my husband’s family.
Now, though, I could honestly say that there was no discernible difference in the way they treated the two of us. I was their son and brother, just as Jeff was.
I paused as the album opened to pictures of our wedding day – our original wedding. We had renewed our vows last Thanksgiving when it had finally become legal for us to marry, but the first ceremony still held a very special place in my heart. My fingertips lingered on his image in the portrait of the two of us standing there in our tuxedos. He’d let his hair grow out so that it curled at the ends because he knew I liked the way it looked. His light green eyes were bright, and the smile on his face was infectious. The man was stunning, and he still took my breath away even after all these years.
A sudden beeping startled me out of my thoughts, making me jump. I quickly silenced the timer before it could wake Tessa and stood up, putting the album away. In the kitchen, I took the loaves of bread from the oven and set them on racks to cool. I poured myself another cup of coffee and sat down at the island to wait out the few minutes before the cake would be ready.
Before long, I heard music coming from the living room and smiled at the tell-tale sign that Tessa was up. A few minutes later, she wandered into the kitchen yawning, her golden curls a mess all around her head. She grinned at me, and her steps increased as she padded across the floor and wrapped her arms around my waist.
“Hi, Daddy!” She squeezed me tightly, and I felt her little fingers pinching my ribs. She thought she was tickling me, so I squirmed and laughed, tickling her in return.
“Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep okay?”
She nodded, biting her bottom lip in concentration as she climbed on top of one of the barstools. She sat facing me, her feet swinging as she propped one arm on the counter and drummed her fingers – a gesture she’d picked up from Jeff. We talked for a few minutes about nothing in particular, and then I asked what she wanted for breakfast.
“Waffles!”
I laughed and shook my head, helping her down from the stool. “I should’ve known…alright, Ms. Waffles, you know what to do.”
She went to the pantry and opened the door, pulling her apron from the low hook we’d installed for her. She tied it on and checked over her shoulder to see if I was looking before she made a face and pulled her hair back into one of the ponytail holders that were kept on a low shelf. She hated messing with her hair, but she knew there was no way she was going to work in my kitchen without it.
The timer dinged again, letting me know that the cake was done, so I pulled it out, careful to keep Tessa away from the oven as I did. I glanced over at her as I put the cake on the cooling rack and laughed when I caught her bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. Her eyes were wide and she was taking deep breaths, seemingly trying to inhale the cake.
"Daddy, can we dec..." She frowned as she tried again. "Dec-wate the cake for Dumi now? Plea-ease?"
I shook my head, putting on my own apron as I told her the cake needed to cool before we could do anything with it. She pursed her lips, putting on her best pout and puppy-dog eyes in an attempt to sway me - which might have worked if it hadn't been for the fact that cakes really do need to be cooled down before you can do anything with them.
With a soft smile, I brushed my thumb over her cheek. "Sorry, sweetheart. Let's make those waffles first, and we'll work on the cake later, okay?"
She let out a long-suffering sigh as she said, "Okaaay," but the sparkle in her eyes told me she was just as excited to help with the waffles. Tessa loved being in the kitchen almost as much as I did and helped me whenever she could - if she wasn't helping her Papa instead.
Before we did anything else, I sent her to the living room to turn off the TV. She and Jeff could watch cartoons together for hours, but they never held her interest for long if he wasn't there making silly jokes and talking in weird voices. She bounced down the hallway and was back before I'd had time to do much more than turn around.
After Tessa grabbed her stool - one that Jeff and his dad had made for her so she could reach the counter top - we both washed our hands and set about making the batter for the waffles. She was always very serious when it came to baking, and the frown and look of utter concentration on her face as she stirred the batter made me smile.
I'd turned on the iron, so as soon as the batter was declared ready - and I had given it a good stir, myself - I poured in the first batch. Tessa was fascinated seeing the waffles from start to finish, but since there wasn't a whole lot to see once the batter was in the waffle iron, she quickly became bored, so I told her to wash up and start setting the table.
Sara walked into the kitchen as I was putting in the second batch, stifling a yawn as she said a quiet, "Good morning, you two."
Tessa squealed and started running to her aunt. I called out, "Tessa! No running in the kitchen, please. You know better."
She stopped dead in her tracks, turning to me as she put her hands behind her back and looked at me with contrition, whispering, "Sorry, Daddy."
I smiled, letting her know it was okay. She grinned in return and walked up to Sara, who picked her up and hugged her tight. "Hey, sweetness. I see you've been helping your daddy again. Need some help setting the table?"
Tessa nodded and said, "Please," and before long the two of them had everything ready. David and Josh arrived as I was taking out the last of the waffles. After Tessa had given her grandpa a hug, David grabbed the coffee - Sara had made a fresh pot - and brought it to the table so we could all have some. Josh was already seated, with Tessa in his lap, and the two were chattering away about Jeff and Grandma coming home today, with her new baby brother.
I was glad to see her so excited about Dumi. Once Jeff and I had decided to try to adopt Dumisani, we had taken great care to include her as much as possible, so she wouldn't feel left out. During the two years or so that it took to get the adoption through, Jeff and I had visited Dumi a few times - as had David and Samantha. We'd had to take turns, of course, since we had the farm and bed and breakfast to think of - not to mention Tessa - but it had been important to us. Tessa hadn't come along, since we felt it was too long of a trip to take her on for only a few days of visiting, but we had made sure to video tape every trip and to take lots of pictures, so that she could get to know him that way. We had done the same for Dumisani, so that he would know his new family, too.
Jeff and Samantha had decorated Dumisani's room, with Tessa's help and input. It had an aviator theme, as Dumi had shown a great love for airplanes after Jeff had given him one on our first visit there. He had used it to explain to Dumi how he had come back to see him, and Dumi hadn't stopped playing with it. Every picture that was sent to us had him holding it, and woe betide anyone that tried to pry it away from him. Tessa had drawn several airplanes; some of them even had - what she claimed to be - her family in them, Dumisani included. Our favorite ones had been framed and hung on his walls, but Tessa often changed her mind as to which she liked best and kept drawing new pictures for him, so we had put up a strip along one wall with clips on it so she could hang up whichever pictures she liked.
She had gone with her grandma Sam to shop for bed linen for Dumi and had picked out the one now on his bed. It had airplanes on it in primary colors, the same kind of plane that Dumi had been given by Jeff. As soon as she saw it, Tessa had decided it was perfect, so that's what he had to have.
Breakfast went by quickly, and before I knew it everyone was done, and the dishes had been cleared, washed, dried, and put away with the help of Josh and Sara. David had gone off to do some chores on the farm. Tessa had been very good about not asking about the cake until after everything was done - she knew by now that it wouldn't do any good - but as soon as Josh had put the last cup away, she was tugging on my shirt, looking up to me with pleading in her eyes.
With a laugh, I told her to put her apron on again, which she did. She had kept her hairtie in, so she was all set. After I cut the cake and put the custard-type filling we preferred between the layers, Sara helped us decorate the cake for Dumisani - it was very simply done, just a "Welcome Home, Dumisani!" written across the frosting along with a few balloons that the girls colored in. Once Tessa was satisfied with how it looked, she clapped her hands and cheered, declaring us done.
Sara took her to get cleaned up and dressed while I set the kitchen to rights. A glance at the clock told me that there were still several hours to kill before we would even be leaving for the airport, let alone seeing Jeff and Dumi again. I groaned softly, shaking my head at myself as I mentally went over the things that I still needed to do before we headed out.
Josh stopped by again after having gone out to help his dad for a bit, checking to see if I needed any help. We set about doing the last of the rearranging needed to accommodate everyone for the party when we brought Dumisani home - it was just going to be Jeff's family, but that was still quite a lot of people we needed to be able to fit into our living room all at once.
My parents had agreed to wait a week before coming to meet their new grandson, after the chaos that had been the first few weeks following Tessa's adoption. They had stayed here for a couple of weeks to help us adjust to having a baby in the house - and doing so while still running a busy bed and breakfast - but there had ended up being so many people around that we hadn't been able to really spend any time with them. Mom wanted to meet her grandson, though, and only barely agreed to the week's wait at Dad's insistence. She had made me promise to record their arrival, a job that was relegated to David, as I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my focus on a camera once I saw Jeff and Dumi.
We had just finished putting the furniture the way we wanted it - having added a couple of chairs to make room for everyone - when Tessa came running back into the living room. I knelt down as she came charging up to me and jumped into my arms, planting a big kiss on my cheek. Wrapping my arms around her, I stood up and smiled at her. "Hey there, sweetheart. Don't you look pretty!" She was wearing a dress in varying shades of blue and stockings to match, with black lacquered shoes. Her hair was extra curly, and Sara had somehow managed to put a couple of bows in her hair, too. I frowned at Tessa, and in a serious tone asked her, "What did Auntie Sara have to do for you to go along with fixing your hair, little miss?"
Tessa giggled, her eyes flickering to Sara, who was walking up to us with a smile. Sara rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, nothing major. This little munchkin just made me promise to take her on another ride on Palermo with me."
Palermo was Sara's horse; she was a sweet thing and had a lot of patience, so I wasn't worried about that part of it. I just didn't like it when Tessa tried to get her way in that fashion. I sighed, shaking my head. "Tessa..."
She pouted, leaning back slightly in my arms as I tightened my hold on her so she wouldn't fall. "Please, Daddy? Please? Can I?"
I glanced at Sara, who just shrugged. No help there. I narrowed my eyes slightly at Tessa. "Sweetheart, I think you, me, and Papa are going to have to sit down and talk about this."
Her face fell, and I sighed. If there was one part of parenting I didn't enjoy, it was this. I was thankful that Jeff would be home soon so we could deal with it together. For now, I said, "We'll discuss it when he gets home. Why don't you and Auntie Sara go play while I get ready?"
Tessa didn't argue, but she did hug me tight, whispering, "I love you, Daddy." While I knew the sentiment was true, she had a sneaky way of using it to try to get out of trouble from time to time.
"I know you do, sweetheart, and I love you, too," I answered, holding her close and kissing her temple before I sat her back on her feet. "But we're still going to talk to Papa when he gets home." She frowned at me but was quickly distracted when Sara held out her hand. The two of them disappeared down the hall toward Tessa's room, and I turned to Josh.
"Anything else I can help you with right now?" he asked with a smile.
I shook my head. "I think we're all set...thanks."
His grin broadened as he said, "Not a problem. I have to start spoiling my new nephew in style...Tessa's got a head start."
I reached out, giving him a quick one-armed hug as I thanked him again. I didn't know if Josh truly understood how much I appreciated the way he treated our child.
Children, I corrected myself. I was still trying to get used to the idea of having a son - and of Tessa having a brother. Before we'd made the final decision to adopt Dumisani, we'd had countless conversations about how it would affect us, how it would affect Tessa, how people would react to us...everything we could possibly think of. In truth, the fact that people might look strangely at a mixed race family didn't bother us much. As gay parents, we'd already gotten used to the speculative looks and occasional rude comments. What mattered to us was that we did what made us as a family happy and that we loved and looked out for each other.
It wasn't always so easy to ignore, of course, and there had been times when my temper had gotten the best of me, but all of it was made worthwhile when I saw the smile on Tessa's face or felt Jeff's strong arms around me as he kissed my cheek and whispered his love. I couldn't wait to be able to bring Dumisani into the loving family we'd created.
After saying goodbye to Josh, I walked into the bedroom I shared with my husband and closed the door, leaning against it as I glanced around. I took a moment to breathe and take in the familiar sights and scents. Jeff hadn't been gone long at all this time, but I missed him terribly. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair as I pushed away from the door and walked to our closet.
I pulled the forest green button down shirt I'd chosen from the rack and grabbed a fresh pair of jeans before stopping by my dresser to pick up my boxers. I took it all to the bathroom, where I started the shower and began my daily ritual of getting ready. As much as I enjoyed my family and running the bed and breakfast, the two combined to leave me very little alone time, which had led to my showers becoming sacred. Sometimes Jeff joined me - usually when Tessa was playing with Josh or helping Sara - but he helped me keep it a calming, rejuvenating place...though sometimes with a bit more fun thrown in.
I lathered up my body and inhaled the fragrance of avocado and eucalyptus, letting my eyes drift closed as I remembered the last time we'd showered together. The smile quirking my lips and the way my body responded to the memories soon reminded me that I was sadly alone, and I made a promise to myself that I would welcome Jeff home properly just as soon as we were able. It might be awhile, but I'd be damn sure to make it worth the wait.
Once I was clean and had washed my hair, I wiped off the shower mirror and peered into it intently as I shaved. When I was sure I looked as good as possible, I shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, making short work of drying off and dressing. I actually took the time to fix my hair - something I rarely did - and spent longer than necessary in front of the mirror, wanting to make sure I looked my best for Jeff.
When I finally felt ready, I walked back out into the hallway to find Sara and Tessa on their way to Dumi's room. She'd drawn yet another picture, and I joined them as we spent a few minutes trying to decide which ones she wanted to leave hanging from the clips. The new one supposedly showed the four members of our family standing in front of our house, though I could only sort of see it when Tessa pointed it out to me, and it was given the place of honor, right in the middle.
As soon as she'd hung it up, she insisted on straightening Dumisani's bed and making sure his pajamas were all ready for him that night. She'd given him one of her favorite books, and she made me pull it from the bookshelf to leave on the nightstand so we'd be sure to read it to him. I had a feeling it was going to be a long night and that Dumi wouldn't be the only one in his bed listening to that story, but that was alright with me. I was happy to see that Tessa was so excited, and we tried to encourage her whenever she wanted to do something for her new brother.
The morning seemed to crawl, but time did eventually move forward. It seemed like we had just eaten breakfast, but when I looked again, it was time for us to have a quick lunch before heading out to the airport. David arrived as Sara and I were making sandwiches, and before long, the four of us were fed and out the door.
The knot of excitement and nerves grew larger with each mile that I drove. I listened to Sara and Tessa singing silly songs and playing games, but I couldn't make myself take part. Occasionally, they brought a smile to my face, but for the most part, my attention was focused on the man and little boy on their way home right now.
The drive to the airport seemed to take much longer than normal, but when we finally arrived and found a parking spot, I took a few moments to just breathe while Sara and David distracted Tessa. I looked up when I felt Sara's hand on my shoulder and smiled as I caught her eyes in the rear-view mirror. She gave me a smile in return, silently asking if I was okay - I nodded and, with a squeeze to my shoulder, she turned her attention back to Tessa, who was trying to get out of her booster seat.
Once we had all gotten out of the car and made our way to the waiting area for arriving flights - David had to run back to the car to get the camera - we made sure we were standing in the line of sight of the doors. Sara and Tessa had made a small banner with "Welcome Home, Dumi!" on it, which Sara planned to hold up when they came walking out. David was already recording, taking in our little group, but I couldn't focus on him. I was holding Tessa to me tightly, alternately kissing her cheek or breathing in her scent in an attempt to calm down - my nerves were beginning to surge forward the closer it came to the time of their arrival. Tessa was equally excited, babbling on about all the things she and Dumi would do once we got home.
Finally, the arrival board said that Jeff's flight had landed; it was only a matter of time before they'd be walking through the door. Tessa was asking when Grandma Sam and Papa were going to be there - she was getting restless and wanted down, but there was no way I was letting her run around in such a dense crowd, especially not with all of us just distracted enough to open up the opportunity for something to happen to her.
I murmured into her hair, "They'll be here soon, sweetheart; just a little while longer and they'll be here with Dumisani."
After another half an hour, people began to file out - Sara held up her sign, and Tessa was instantly on alert, straining in my arms for a first glimpse of her papa. I was no less anxious to see him, but it was Tessa that spotted them first. She began to bounce in my arms, squealing as she pointed to the throng of people, "Daddy, Daddy, there's Papa! I see Papa!"
At her words, I could feel my nervous anticipation ratchet even higher. I always was anxious to see my husband again, but this time it was amplified, so much more than simply welcoming him home after a long time away. I was nervous, worried for Dumisani as he would suddenly find himself surrounded by people he didn't really know, in a place completely foreign to him. I hoped he was alright, that he wasn't too frightened by the whole experience, though I knew Jeff wouldn't have let anything happen to him. I just needed to see him - see them both - to know that everything was okay.
I spotted Samantha first, as she frantically waved at us to get our attention. She was beaming, a proud look on her face in spite of the fatigue of the long journey. Right next to her - revealed to me now as a couple turned left and away from them - was Jeff, who had Dumisani on his hip as the boy clung to him.
The moment our eyes met, I knew - Jeff was truly home, complete, now that Dumisani was with us. He looked tired, but utterly happy as his eyes flickered to Tessa and back to me, his strides purposeful as they carried him to us. Seconds seemed to last forever as the three of them walked to us, Tessa calling for Papa and Grandma the whole time, though I paid it scant mind - my entire being was too full of love for my family. I couldn't bring myself to care that people were looking at her - at us - because of it.
I felt Sam's kiss on my cheek as she greeted me, was vaguely aware of her reaching over to awkwardly hug her granddaughter as she was still in my arms - some part of me knew that Sara and David were there, each greeting Sam, though David would be sure to capture Dumi's homecoming. I knew it, but I felt detached from it all, focused as I was on Jeff and Dumisani as they stood in front of me - of us. I reached for Jeff at the same time he did me, and we held each other as closely as we could, given that we both had a child in our arms. He kissed me briefly, but hard, before resting his forehead against mine with a contented sigh. We both needed this moment to just...be.
Kissing Tessa's cheek, he murmured, "Hey there, sweetheart. It's good to see you again."
She reached her arms out to him, hugging him tightly around his neck as she planted a big kiss on his cheek, too. "I missed you, Papa!"
He smiled at her as she settled back in my arms. "I missed you, too, pumpkin. Look who I brought with me, though." He looked at Dumisani - who had been silent through it all, his eyes wide with curiosity. The pride and love Jeff felt was evident in his eyes as well as his voice as he said, "Dumi, do you remember Tim?"
Dumi nodded, giving me a timid smile, which I returned warmly. Jeff rubbed Dumi's arm tenderly and nodded to our daughter as he said, "Dumi, I'd like you to meet your sister, Tessa. You remember her from the videos?"
He nodded again. Tessa, who had remained uncharacteristically quiet throughout this little exchange, gave a timid, "Hi Dumi," before giggling and quickly kissing him on the cheek. Dumisani's eyes got impossibly bigger as he stared at her - it took only a few seconds for his look of shock to turn into a shy smile. It filled me with relief, and when I looked at Jeff, I could tell he felt the same. As much as we had tried to prepare both children for this moment, we had both been nervous about their first meeting.
We weren't allowed to remain in our small bubble for very long, as Sara nudged my side lightly, reminding me that we weren't alone and that Dumi had more family to meet - with even more waiting at home still. Tessa switched over to her grandmother's arms, and Sam was all too happy to have her granddaughter again, covering her in kisses as Tessa giggled. I caught David trying to capture as much of their exchange as possible, too. I smiled, watching as Jeff introduced Sara to Dumi - I slipped my arm around his waist, and he shifted his weight so he was able to lean into me while still keeping a good hold of Dumi.
Pressing my lips to Jeff's temple, I said softly, "Let's go home, baby."
He nodded, giving me a tired smile. We all set off to the car; Sam was still holding Tessa, with David walking next to them, happy to have his wife by his side again. Sara started to push the cart with their luggage - which I hadn't even noticed earlier - but quickly conceded the job to me after a look from both Jeff and me. When we got to the car, I was never happier to have a seven-seater SUV. We all fit, albeit barely. Dumisani was put in his carseat, which he didn't much care for - it wasn't something he was used to, after all. Tessa was put into hers, and the other adults piled into their seats. Jeff and I put the luggage in the trunk. He turned to me as soon as the latch closed and pulled me to him, holding me tightly and breathing deeply. My arms went around him, holding him just as close as he did me.
He pressed his lips to my neck, whispering, "God, I've missed you."
"I missed you, too..."
Someone honked the horn, and we could hear laughter from the car as we pulled apart, both of us wearing matching frowns. After one more kiss, we got in the car, and I could hear Jeff grumbling, "Thanks, sis, missed you, too."
She just laughed, and from the rear-view I could see Dumi watching everything curiously, a quiet smile on his lips when Jeff settled into his seat next to him. Jeff always sat up front with me, but since this was new for Dumi, he didn't want him to feel anxious, so he and Sara had changed seats from their normal routine.
The drive home went by quickly - Dumi's eyes were everywhere, awe clear on his face at every new thing that Jeff pointed out. Dumi had his hand firmly clasped around Jeff's fingers, the only outward sign of this being completely unfamiliar and daunting for the boy. When we drove up to the house, my eyes immediately fell on the big "Welcome Home, Dumisani!!!" banner stretched along the porch, balloons tied everywhere imaginable, and streamers draped across the overhang.
I chuckled, shaking my head, and both Jeff and I said at the same time, "Josh!"
Once we had gotten out of the car - leaving the luggage for later - Josh, Caleb, Amy, Dave, and Matt all came up to us, every one of them wearing a huge smile. Dumi made a soft noise of discomfort, grasping at Jeff's pants before he was able to pick the boy up to comfort him. Jeff held him close to his chest, murmuring soft words that appeared to calm him down. I walked up to them, putting my hand on the small of Jeff's back as I asked if everything was okay. He nodded, placing a soft kiss on Dumi's temple. "We're fine; aren't we, Dumi?"
He smiled at our son, who gave him a small grin before turning to me. Putting my free hand on the back of Dumi's head, I leaned in, kissing him lightly on the forehead, and said, "Welcome home, Dumisani."
"Let's go meet the others, okay?" Jeff asked.
Dumi glanced over his shoulder at the family then turned back to Jeff with a frown, as if asking if they were okay. Jeff and I both nodded, assuring him that they were all family - his family now - and that they wanted to meet him. After a moment of watching us both intently, he finally nodded, and we introduced our son to everyone.
Tessa insisted on showing him his room almost as soon as we walked in the house, and Dumi's eyes bugged out at all the airplanes. To say he looked pleased was an understatement, and the few times during the rest of the day that he actually spoke, it was of his room - asking again and again if it was really his.
Cake had been next on the list of her demands - Dumi hadn't been sure what to make of that, but Tessa soon taught him what to do with it, to much amusement from everyone else. Matt and Dave hung back a little, unsure of what to make of their newest cousin, but then they had always been a little more timid than Tessa.
Jeff continued to hold him often throughout the afternoon. Dumi was overwhelmed by the amount of new people around him, as well as being in a different environment, so Jeff and I walked outside with him from time to time to give him a break from the tumult. We promised Dumi that tomorrow he would be getting the grand tour of the place, and that he would get to meet all the animals that we kept - he seemed excited about that prospect.
After dinner, which Amy had cooked for us, everyone went back to their own homes, leaving our small family some much-needed peace so we could relax a little and unwind from the long and eventful day. Jeff and I gave both kids a bath, just spending some time together as we watched them play in the water. Tessa took it upon herself to show him all their toys and how they worked, and Dumi seemed most eager to learn. I caught Jeff watching them with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face - I reached my hand out, cupping his cheek gently as I whispered, "I know..."
I knew he was feeling overwhelmed, but in a good way. Everything we had worked so long and so hard for had come to pass, and it was almost too much to bear. Almost. Our family was complete, and watching our children play together made it all real.
We got both kids washed, dried, and changed into jammies before Tessa begged us to read to them. Jeff relented, and the three of them piled into Dumi's bed. Jeff was lying in the middle, with Dumi near the wall and Tessa on the outside, both of them snuggled up against him as he read to them - funny voices and all - while I stood in the doorway, leaning against it as I crossed my arms and smiled. Before the story was over, both children were asleep, and Jeff carefully moved Dumi, as I picked up Tessa. He climbed out of bed, tucking in our son as I went to do the same with our daughter.
When I was done, I walked back to Dumisani's room to find Jeff standing where I had been, watching our son as he slept in his bed for the first time. I slipped my arms around him from behind, resting my chin on his shoulder and kissing his neck briefly. I smiled when I felt Jeff lean into me, his hands resting over mine as he turned his head to look at me. He pecked my lips and whispered, "Thank you, Tim."
I raised an eyebrow at him as I asked him what for. He squeezed my hand. "For everything. For being my husband, for giving me your love, for Tessa, for Dumi - just...being you. I love you."
I kissed him, slowly, tenderly. "I love you, too, Jeff."
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Just amazing.
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