Taking Chances

A/N: Happy Birthday,KnittingFynatyc! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

ooOoo

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“So!” Jasper says as he flops onto the bed, grinning up at me. “What's the plan, Stan?”

I roll my eyes, blushing at his proximity. He shifts, lifting himself up just enough to swing an arm around my neck and look at the brochure in my lap.

Jasper seems to either ignore or not notice my body's reactions to him – blush and erection alike, though thankfully the latter's mostly concealed by the brochure.

Jasper's my best friend, and we're both out... we're just not together. I don't know if he's ever even thought of us together.

I know I have.

Uncertain

Clearing my throat, I turn my attention back to the information the front desk gave us when we checked in. It's still a little difficult to wrap my head around the fact that we're actually here.

On vacation.

Alone.

No parents, no siblings. No well-meaning but nosy friends.

I try to focus, to not think about how warm Jasper feels, how fantastic he smells...

“Umm, I don't know? I thought... maybe... we could hike?” I point to several trails mentioned.

Jasper nods thoughtfully.

“Or... they've got surfing? Cliff diving ?”

I don't know why everything's coming out as a question.

Blush

Jasper looks up at me, wide-eyed. “Cliff diving? You?” he says incredulously.

My blush deepens. Ducking my head, I mumble, “I thought maybe you'd like to. I can do it.”

Even to my ears, it sounds lame. I'm scared of heights, and he knows it, but he's daredevil enough to want to try something like that, and I wouldn't want to deny him the opportunity – or make him do it alone.

His voice is soft, awed. “You'd do that for me?”

I nod, not looking at him.

He taps his hand against my shoulder, trying to get my attention. “Hey...”

Disbelief

Glancing at him from the corner of my eye, I hmm in acknowledgement. Jasper sighs, knowing he won't get much more out of me. “Ed, why would you do that to yourself, man? I know how you are with heights.”

I shrug.

He shifts, swinging his legs over the side of the bed so his body’s aligned with mine.

“Ed, c'mon. It's me. Talk to me?”

I blush, all too aware it's him. My fingers tighten their grip on the brochure.

Jasper watches me for a minute, then reaches to tilt my chin up and toward him with his finger.


Possibility

I close my eyes, my breathing speeding with anxiety – anticipation? – when I feel him move closer. I don't dare move a muscle.

“Edward Anthony Cullen, what are you hiding from me?” he whispers, resting his forehead against mine.

I try not to whimper at his proximity. Jasper and I have always been affectionate together, though lately that's become increasingly difficult for me.
How can he not know?

I gulp when the thought hits me that maybe he's always so affectionate because he feels the same way I do – that maybe that's why he insisted on us coming here together. Alone.

Risk
I can't. I can't risk our friendship like this. Can I?
What if I'm reading him wrong and I ruin our vacation?
What if I lose his friendship?

All these thoughts pass through me at lightning speed.
And what do I risk if I don't?

I’m not a great risk-taker – that's always been Jasper's role – but something about this moment propels me to be bold, bolder than I've ever been in my entire life.

Throwing my usual caution to the wind, I take a shuddering breath, cup his face in my hands, and kiss him softly once… twice.

He gasps.

Mistake

My eyes fly open. I scramble away from him, stammering apologies. Tears sting my eyes as I immediately berate myself.
The one time I decide to be brave – to take a risk – and I fucking take the wrong one.

I get as far as the door to our room, my back against it as I fumble to open the lock, all the while pouring out broken apologies and pleas for forgiveness, interspersed with cussing myself out.

Jasper's talking, but I can't hear anything over the noise in my head.

When I finally feel the lock give, I turn to leave.

Catch

Jasper's hand closing on my wrist stops me in my tracks. He forcibly turns me around to face him, putting a hand on either side of me and pinning me to the door.

It's all I can do to stay there and not crumple into a miserable heap. I know I fucked this up.

In a big way.

How long it takes for Jasper's voice to penetrate my haze of self-disgust I don't know. Eventually, I hear his exasperated, “Edward, would you please just stop and listen?”

I'm trembling from head to foot, wanting so badly to run.

I nod.

Impossible

I can't look at him, certain I'll see contempt and anger in his face for having dared to assume...
What am I going to do without him?

My chest constricts painfully at that thought, and my face crumples.

“Edward, baby,” he breathes, cupping my face so tenderly it surprises me.
Baby?

Leveling my gaze to his, I'm shocked to find him watching me with a sad smile.

“There you are,” he mutters, resting his forehead against mine again.

I'm too confused to say or do anything, so I just wait.

“What am I gonna do with you?” he chuckles softly.


Truth

My mouth opens and closes a few times, but no words form.

Jasper sighs, pulling away as he brushes my cheekbone with his thumb. “I'm sorry,” he says.

“Y-you're s-sorry?” I stutter.

He nods. “You took me by surprise when you kissed me, Edward, but… I orchestrated all of this,” he gestures to the room, “because I wanted to have you alone... to make sure I'd get the chance to finally do something I've been wanting to do for a long time.”

“What's that?” I ask stupidly.

He gives a half-smile. “To tell you that I'm in love with you.”

Help

I blink.

“You... you w-what?”

Jasper's lips twitch. “Edward, you're a very smart guy. Top of our class, valedictorian and shit, but sometimes... sometimes you can be really, really dumb.”

I frown. He chuckles, pecking my lips. My eyes fly wide.

“I've been trying to tell you I love you for months now. I've hinted, indicated, all but written it out in the sky for the world to see, but you just weren't getting the message.”

I gape.

“Alice helped me set everything up,” he admits quietly.

“Alice?” I rasp.
I'm gonna kill my sister. She knew! All this time!

Calm

“Hey, hey... none of that,” he rushes, cupping my face in both hands and forcing me to meet his eyes. It's only then that I realize my hands are balled into fists and I'm breathing harshly.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm so upset. I just know that I am.

Somehow, Jasper seems to know what's going through my mind and knows just how to calm me down. As always.

He's always so in tune with me – it's one of the things I love about him.

He takes a deep breath, then says, “Edward, I love you. So much. I-”


Confirm

“I...” he trails off, frowning before starting again, “I don't know what I would've done if, after this week, you'd still not understood how I felt. I never dreamed you felt the same about me. At least...” he glances hopefully at me, “I hope you do, since you kissed me.”

Swallowing hard, I nod, mouthing, “I do.”

The smile that spreads on his face warms me to my core, and I feel my own form in response.

“Really? You do?” he asks.

I nod again, unable to speak.

“Tell me? Please? I need to hear you say it,” he pleads.

Begin

Raising my hands so one covers his and the other cups his cheek, I smile.

“I love you, Jasper. More than my own life,” I whisper.

It's true. There's no one else I'd consider risking my neck for by jumping off a cliff, after all.

Jasper grins as he leans forward, his lips scant inches from mine as he breathes, “I like the sound of that. I love you, Edward.”

And then he's kissing me. Deeply. Thoroughly.

Eventually, he pulls away. “So. What's the plan for this week?”

I don't know, but I know we're off to a great start.