Where You Hang Your Hat

A/N: Happy Birthday, MsKathy! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

ooOoo

House

Opening the door, I can't stop smiling at the sight before me. A sun-tanned Jasper, his wheat-gold curls tied back with a leather cord, smiling tiredly as he drawls, “Mornin', sugar. Can a weary traveler come in?”

Stepping aside, I usher him in with a flourish, earning me his customary chuckle.

The moment he sets foot in my house, I feel it. The halls aren't empty anymore. It's a home again. Even if it won't last.

It never does.

I try not to think about that as I wait for him to put his things down before welcoming him properly.


Familiar

We don’t waste a minute, falling into our pattern as soon as we touch. He kisses me softly, his fingers trailing up and down my spine, making me shiver through the thin layer of my shirt. My arms wrap tightly around his waist.

It’s not lost on me that our gestures reflect our situation – me, clinging to him while he’s a free spirit who makes my world tremble at the simplest touch.

My greatest wish is that I had the same hold on him he does on me.

Still, I can’t give him up, so I smile as we part.


Welcome

“You hungry?” I ask, watching him carefully. I know he'll try to minimize his needs in favor of getting intimate if I let him, and I'm determined to take care of him.

To show him in every way possible how much I love him, even though I rarely speak the words.

I've slipped a few times, but I know expressing my feelings like that makes him uncomfortable, so I try to refrain.

He has yet to say them to me, though I wish for them every time he visits. Something holds him back.

He nods. “Yeah, haven't eaten since yesterday.”


Cook

We head to the kitchen, where Jasper usually takes a seat at the bar to talk to me while I cook. He’s helpless when it comes to food, living mostly on take out and whatever restaurants he happens to go to while he’s on the road for work, which is the vast majority of the year.

This time, though, he stands near me, leaning against the counter. He seems unable to keep his hands off me as he brushes back my hair and kisses my cheek, letting his hand linger on my forearm.

“Hey,” he murmurs gruffly. “I missed you.”


Stun

I pause to look at him, stunned both at his admission and the attention he's giving me. He's normally not like this, and it makes me wonder if anything's wrong. Not that I don't welcome it, but still...

“I missed you, too, Jazz. Every day,” I admit quietly, my eyes searching his for the usual flash of whatever it is that haunts him whenever I tell him.

He's never truly explained why he's so uncomfortable talking about feelings. I just know that he is.

This time, he smiles ruefully and cups my cheek before kissing me again and whispering, “Sorry.”


Puzzled

“For what?” I ask before I can stop myself.

His smile slips as he leans against the counter again. His hands are gripping the counter edge beside his hips, and he’s staring at his feet when he says, “Just for… everything.”

Pondering his words, I slowly turn back to the stove, stirring automatically. I wish I could just tell him it’s alright – but it isn’t. I hate the way we are almost as much as I love him.

“Why apologize now?” My voice is gruff, but I think I’ve managed to hide the bitterness I feel.

I hate that, too.


Guileless

With my eyes firmly on the pan before me, I wait.

Jasper takes a deep breath, still talking to his feet as he murmurs, “Because I owe you that much. I owe you so much more. I'm sorry.”

My eyes close and my heart stops beating for a second as my fears threaten to drown me.

No! He can't be meaning that... that...

I almost miss his whispered, “I know how much this hurts you... how much I hurt you, Edward. I never meant to. I... it's... just... I've never been good with... with love – never believed in it – and...”


Struggle

Swallowing hard, I reach across the stove and turn the burner off, mechanically moving the pan to the side. I find I can’t look at him. I’m too afraid he’ll see everything in my eyes – hope, fear, hurt.

Maybe even something I don’t know is there myself.

So while Jasper talks to his shoes, I ask the range hood, “Love?”

He sighs.

The kitchen is silent until I hear the rustle of fabric, and then his arms are around my waist. “God, what have I done to you?” he asks, his lips brushing my neck. “Look at me, Ed. Please?”


Admission

I turn around, wearily meeting his gaze. My throat tightens at the whirlwind of emotions visible to me.

Jasper closes his eyes briefly as he cups my cheek, resting his forehead against mine for a second or two before straightening up again to look me in the eye. “Ed, I'm so sorry. I-I should have... I couldn't...”

He stops, frowning in frustration at not being able to get the words out. Finally, he says in a huff, “Yes. Love. I love you, Ed. I have for a long time, and I should've told you before, but I just... I couldn't.”


Shock

“You love me?” I can hear the disbelief in my voice. It just seems so impossible.

All the times I’ve told him…

All the times he’s just stood there…

I clench my jaw, trying hard to ignore that little voice. I don’t know how to respond, though. I’ve wanted to hear those words from him for so long that now I’m not even sure I can believe them.

And that sucks.

Jasper’s thumb brushes my cheek. “Please tell me I’m not too late, baby… please…” His whisper is broken, but it’s the look in his eyes that finally convinces me.


Wish

“Say it again?” I whisper as my eyes search his.

Jasper nods, his breath wavering as he says quietly, “I love you, Edward. I wish... I wish I'd had the nerve to tell you sooner... to tell you last time I was here. I tried. It's been killing me...”

Wrapping my arms around him, I crush him to me. I could cry – for joy at finally hearing him say those precious words, and because of all this wasted time.

Still, part of me's scared to believe this is truly happening. “Tell me I'm not dreaming?” I whisper into his neck.



Real

“Oh, you’re not dreaming, sweetheart,” he says gruffly, his cheek pressed against mine. I can hear something in his voice – the same overwhelming emotion that’s choking me.

I hold tight to him, unwilling to let go, and when I catch what he called me, I smile. “You’ve never called me ‘sweetheart’ before…” I whisper.

He lifts his head then, his eyes finding mine. “I wanted to,” he admits softly. “I just… didn’t let myself until I told you how I feel. Is that stupid?”

I shake my head and kiss him, trying to tell him without words that I understand.


Explain

Stepping out of my embrace, he plates up food for us, taking it to the kitchen table. It's only when he turns to get drinks that my brain kicks into gear and I wave him off. Grabbing glasses and orange juice, I join him.

At first, we eat in silence, both of us staring at each other, smiling silly smiles and blushing. After a while, though, Jasper starts talking, telling me things he's never shared with a soul before.

“I said before that I never believed in love. I take that back. I never believed in it for me. “


Ache

I listen, half-fascinated and half-horrified, as Jasper tells me about the father that didn’t want him, his mother’s endless string of boyfriends – and how horrible some of them were to both of them. His eyes are dark and closed off somehow, as if he’s protecting himself.

My heart threatens to break when I realize he’s protecting himself from me.

I can’t just tell him he doesn’t have to – something tells me that it’s going to take a lot more than that – so I reach out and rest my hand on his thigh.

His eyes lighten at once, and he smiles.


Abashed

Running his fingers through his hair, he shrugs, blushing lightly. The grin on his face looks a little off, somehow, as he says, “Sounds like some kind of bad Lifetime movie, doesn't it?”

I frown, pushing away from the table far enough that I can turn to face him fully. Taking his hand in mine, I pull him toward me, coaxing him to straddle my lap as I put my arms around his waist.

Brushing my lips against his, I sigh. “Don't say that, Jasper. You have every right to feel the way you do. God, I can't even imagine...”


Unexpected

Our kiss deepens as my fingers caress his back. I sense where this is leading, but instead of being almost resentful as I have been at times, I welcome it.

Jasper pulls away.

He’s breathing hard as he rests his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. “Sorry. I’m not trying…”

“It’s okay, baby. I want you, too.”

“I know.” He opens his eyes and bites the inside of his cheek, letting me know he can feel my arousal. “And we will… god, we will…” His eyes flutter, making me smile. “But I need you to know first that I-I’m different…”


Dread

My eyes search his for answers to questions I fear to ask as a small pit of old, familiar fear stirs in my stomach.

Jasper cups my face in his hands, swallowing hard several times before finally managing to speak. “You're different, Edward. I-I...”

He closes his eyes, steeling himself, and I find I’m doing the same. When I open them again, his are set on mine.

“Edward,” he whispers, “I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, and I know I have. I was such an idiot. Didn't know what I had – what I was missing – until I...”


Understanding

“Just say it, Jazz.” My voice is harder than I intended, but I can’t take not knowing where he’s going with this.

He swallows, his eyes cutting away from mine. With visible effort, he meets my gaze again. “When I left a few months ago for San Diego…”

I focus on keeping my breathing even as I listen to him talk about feeling lonely and calling some guy named Peter – some sure fuck.

The same as he has in every town he visits.

I knew I was his Chicago hook-up, but hearing it confirmed clenches my jaw. I look away.


Effort

It takes every ounce of control I possess not to push Jasper out of my lap and get away from him. My hands are clenched into fists against his back as everything seeps in.

I'd always known, but now... now I know, and it astounds me how much of a difference it makes. And a painful one, at that.

Jasper continues to talk, to plead for my understanding – my forgiveness.

“Edward, please... look at me,” he begs, trying to force my head forward to face him. “I didn't understand, sweetheart. I-”

“Don't,” I cut off, my voice hoarse with emotion.


Cut

“What-” he starts.

“Don’t call me that.”

I can see panic and confusion in his eyes when I push at his hips. He obeys the silent order, scrambling off my lap. When I turn to leave, he catches my wrist.

I snatch my arm away, ignoring his pleading, “Edward? Talk to me, please. What…”

Stalking down the hallway and up the stairs, I let his words wash over me. I’m reeling, completely unsure how to handle going from being happier than I’ve been in a long time to utterly pissed off and hurt in the space of a few minutes.


Alone

Pacing back and forth between my bed and the window, I try to regain my equilibrium. Even as I'm struggling to come to grips with having Jasper's... habits... confirmed, a small piece of me worries about him.

How he's dealing with this.

Leaning against the window sill, I stare out into my garden.

How did everything get so fucked up?

Memories of my time with Jasper come to me unbidden, flashes of laughter, walks, and love-making.

A quiet voice reminds me of Jasper's past.

Furiously, I wipe tears from my face, unsure if I’m hurting for myself, or for him.


Knock

I’m staring out the window when there’s a knock on the door.

“Edward?” Jasper’s voice is muffled, but I can hear his hesitation.

I sigh heavily at the fear I hear in his voice – fear that echoes mine. I can’t explain exactly why I go to the door, but I do.

When I pull it open, a mixture of panic and relief crosses his face. “Edward, what..? I… Fuck,” he swears, scrubbing his face with his hands. He lowers them, his gaze burning into mine. “I love you,” he says decisively. His voice shakes when he adds, “I’m so sorry.”


Waver

Automatically, I reach out to him only to stop shy of touching him. I swallow hard when I let my hand drop back to my side, my voice a raspy whisper as I say, “Jazz...”

His fingers twitch – I just catch the action from the corner of my eye.

We stare at each other in silence for a protracted moment before Jasper's face crumples. His voice is as broken as he looks. “Ed, please. Say something. Anything. Tell me you can forgive me, or to go to hell. I'll leave, if- if...”

No!

The thought rings desperately through my head.



Resolve

“No.” It’s the only word I can get out, but I’m not sure exactly what I mean.

“No?” Jasper asks after a moment of silence.

I sigh, my shoulders dropping as I look at the floor. I take a moment to think about what I want – what I really want – and it hits me that it’s exactly what Jasper offered downstairs.

Raising my eyes to his, I manage, “Don’t go. I’ll… I’ll get over it.”

Jasper’s cheeks flush, and his eyes shimmer. “Edward, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I don’t ever want to hurt you again.”


Excruciating

This time when I reach out, I take his hand and lead him to my bed, pulling him to sit beside me.

We both sit with a leg tucked under us so we can face each other. Jasper plays with my hand as it lies between us.

Taking a deep breath, I steel myself and say, “Tell me. Everything.”

He nods and gulps before sharing with me how he and Peter had hooked up at his hotel, as they'd done several times over the years. How he'd felt strange as Peter tried to suck him off.

It hurts to hear.


Exception

Jasper’s story wanders. He tells me about different guys. Different acts. Different cities.

But one thing is the same.

No matter who the guy was or how long he’d known him, Jasper emphasizes, “I never went home with any of them. Ever.”

“But…” I begin, trailing off as my brow furrows.

Jasper nods slightly. “That first night, when you invited me back here, I couldn’t say no. I should have – I knew it – but I… couldn’t.” He shrugs, giving me a half-smile. “You were different from the start,” he finishes in a small voice.

I lace my fingers through his.


Steel

I watch him warily, allowing his words to settle. Biting the inside of my cheek, I frown, squeezing his hand so tightly I'm sure I'm hurting him, but I can't seem to rein myself in.

Frowning, I whisper, “That night... with Peter...?

I swallow hard, preparing myself for the hurt I know is coming.

Jasper's jaw works. Finally, he says so quietly I almost miss it, “I couldn't go through with it. We  did everything we usually did... we even got as far as me prepping him and putting the condom on, but when I was about to… ahh… to-”


Certain

“When you were about to fuck him,” I supply, unsurprised to hear bitterness in my voice.

“Jesus,” Jasper breathes, running his free hand through his hair. When I don’t say anything else, he sighs. “Yes. When I was about to fuck him, I couldn’t.”

I swallow and shake my head, unable to meet his eye.

“Will you please look at me?” he murmurs. I brace myself before looking up at him. He tries a smile that falters before it forms. “I couldn’t because all I saw was you. I didn’t see Peter’s face. I just saw your lips... your eyes…”


Accusation

“The accusation in your eyes. The guilt I felt reflected back at me. I just...”

He shrugs, turning his face away this time. Clearing his throat, he frowns and adds, “I told Peter I was sorry, but he had to leave... that it was the last time he'd hear from me.”

Jasper huffs slightly, shaking his head as he looks up at me with a rueful smile. “Peter actually grinned and said it was about time I'd found someone to let into my heart. He got dressed, kissed my cheek, wished me good luck, and left.”

I quirk an eyebrow.


Incredulous

“Bullshit,” I say before I can stop myself.

Jasper laughs. “I swear he did. It wasn’t what I was expecting either, believe me…”

At that, we both fall silent. I don’t know where Jasper’s mind is, but I can’t help but wonder if what he’s saying is true. I can’t imagine being dismissed that way and being so… okay with it.

I’m lost in thought when Jasper clears his throat and says softly, “Edward, I know I’ve been… hell, I don’t even know the word for it. I was an ass, and I don’t deserve you-” He cuts off abruptly.


Vulnerable

His brow furrowed, he closes his eyes as he mumbles, “I really don't deserve you,” before clearing his throat again and going on with a little more volume. “I don't know what the hell I'm doing, what I'm supposed to be doing... All I do know is that I want you, Edward. I want to be with you, if you'll let me.”

I force myself to think before answering, but in the silence Jasper adds quietly, “I talked to my boss. She says there's a desk job here in Chicago for me if I want it. If you want me.”


Catch

My breath catches in my throat, and my eyes widen. He meets my gaze levelly and gives a rueful smile, but he doesn’t say anything else.

As the silence stretches, his face falls, and he looks down at our tangled hands. I don’t know what to say. Part of me – a large part – is screaming Yes! but the rest hesitates.

Jasper tosses his head to get his hair out of his eyes. “I’m taking it either way,” he nearly whispers. “I want to be close by so I can just... try to make you see how I… what you… fuck.”


Oath

He briefly squeezes his eyes shut before meeting my gaze with determination. “Ed, I've never... never known anything like this,” he gestures between us, “before. I’ve never known anyone like you before. I can't give you up. Not now that I've finally-”

He stops abruptly, swallowing hard, his eyes wild.

“Jazz, I-”

He shakes his head. “I swear, Edward, if you tell me to go to hell, I'll leave, but...”

I cut him off. “I already told you not to go, Jasper.”

He nods. “Please tell me we can try?” he asks quietly. “I promise, I'll do whatever it takes...”


Condition

He goes silent, and I take the opportunity to try to think through this. The thought of having Jasper close by – of being able to see him instead of just talking to him – is so tempting. It’s what I’ve asked for every single time he’s visited.

I realize abruptly that it’s not enough. I don’t want him across town somewhere, seeing him for dinner a few times a week.

We’re so far past the casual dating stage, no matter how turbulent our history has been.

Only one way to know…

“Okay,” I say hoarsely. “We can try… on one condition.”


Offer

My heart's hammering in my chest, my palms suddenly sweaty. I know what I'm about to ask of him is big, especially for someone with his history. But I know that if we're going to make it, I need this from him.

Taking a shaky breath, I say, “Move in with me.”

His eyes widen in surprise while mine search his. The seconds ticking away in silence stab at my heart as the fear sets in again, whispering in the back of my mind that he'll leave.

“You want me to move in with you?” he asks hoarsely, incredulously.

Hopefully.


Question

“Please,” I whisper.

His eyes scan my face as he frowns slightly. I don’t know what he’s looking for until he says, “Are you sure? I thought after… after what I told you that you’d… I don’t know. Want to take it slow?”

I bark a half-laugh. What he’s saying makes sense, but not for me. “I’ve had pieces of you for so long,” I say gruffly. “If we’re going to work… I need all of you.”

He blinks twice, as if in disbelief, but then a smile spreads across his lips. “You’re really willing to give me a chance?”


Reassure

I nod, squeezing his hand. “I am, Jasper.”

Gazing down at our hands, I frown. “Jazz... I've always known what kind of life you led... at least to an extent. You know that. I still chose you. Every time.”

Looking up at him, I smile softly at the look of wonder in his face. Cupping his cheek, I murmur, “It isn't fair of me to hold your past against you, even if it hurts to have everything confirmed.”

His hand covers mine, holding it to his cheek as he watches me with shimmering eyes.

“Jasper, I want you. Always have.”


Accept

“I’m sorry if I wasn’t...” he begins. “No. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you. The others…” His throat works as he swallows. “I was always very clear. I told them what I was after, and it’s what they wanted, too. I couldn’t do that with you, and I’m sorry… it took me way too long to realize why.”

I feel tension draining as I smile. “You wanted what I did,” I say with certainty. He nods with wide eyes. “It’s okay to be afraid, Jasper… but can you answer my question now?” I tease.

“Oh,” he sputters. “Oh… yes.”


Adjust

“Yes... you're going to answer, or yes is your answer?” I hate that I have to ask, but I need to be sure. Need him to be sure.

He lets out a breathy laugh, turns his face and kisses the palm of my hand. “Yes, I'll move in with you. If you're really sure?”

I nod, taking a shaky breath. “Welcome home, Jasper,” I whisper, smiling.

He tilts his head, a look of awe in his eyes as he murmurs, “Home... I've never... not since…” He blinks, then says again, stronger this time, “Home.”

Leaning in, I capture his lips.


Irony

His moan is low, nearly breathless, but he doesn’t push for more. His lips hesitate against mine, lingering as if he wants to prove that he’s looking for something more than sex from me.

Ironically, that’s just what I want from him this time.

I smile against his lips and stand, moving so that I’m in front of him. Before he can speak, I pull my shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor before slipping out of my pants. I reach out to take his hand, urging him to stand. “There’s one more thing I want…”


Request

He stands up slowly, watching me questioningly.

Cupping his cheek, I bite my lip, then say, “I want to watch you undress. Please?”

His eyes widen in surprise. Brushing my thumb over his cheek, I sigh, adding, “In the past, it was always a bittersweet thing to watch you because I knew it wouldn't last. We'd make love, you'd stay a few days, but in the end you'd always leave. I-I want to savor it, this time. I know it sounds strange, but...”

Jasper's kiss cuts off my babbling. “Okay,” he breathes against my lips. “I won't leave you, Edward.”


Agree

Warmth spreads through my chest as I smile at his words. I know on some level that it will take time – not words – to make me really believe that, but it’s one hell of a start.

Mischief appears in Jasper’s eyes as he watches me. He leans in and kisses me thoroughly, leaving me breathless when he finally pulls away. His fingertips trace the waist of my boxers, making me squirm before he pushes them over my hips.

“Climb in bed, sweetheart,” he murmurs, briefly cupping my balls. He gives me a gentle squeeze before winking and turning his back.


Slow

He waits, looking over his shoulder until I'm settled in the middle of the bed. When he's satisfied that I can see him, he winks again before turning away.

Slowly – oh, so slowly – he starts undressing himself, letting his fingers linger and tease the skin that's revealed, shaking his ass tauntingly as he shimmies out of his pants and underwear.

His hands roam until he reaches his crotch. Only then does he turn to face me, cock in hand and eyes burning into mine.

I'm transfixed, unable to move as I watch him work himself over. “Oh, fuck,” I breathe.


Beckon

I stare for so long that at first I don’t realize he’s waiting for me. He’s enjoying himself, yes, but his eyes are focused on mine as his hand strokes his shaft.

With a smile, I lift my hand, beckoning him over with a crooked finger. His lips curve into a half-smile as he crosses the floor with purpose, as if that one sign of permission was all he needed.

His body covers mine, his lips devouring me as I moan against his mouth. Just as quickly, he’s gone, sliding down my body before coming to rest between my knees.


Sudden

Before I can do or say anything, Jasper's lips wrap around my shaft, stealing away both my breath and my thoughts at the sudden wet heat.

I'm lost as he somehow manages to slick my shaft before taking me deep several times in quick succession. Unable to support myself anymore at the sensation overload, I fall back onto the bed, moaning, my eyes closed as I just allow myself to feel.

The sudden pressure of Jasper's lubed finger pushing into me has me gasping in surprise even as I beg for more. Jasper hums, sending delicious shivers through my body.


Surrender

He's relentless in his attentions, petting and stroking and pressing while his mouth makes my body sing. I can't do more than hold on, turning myself over to the sensations as my chest heaves and my body flushes.

When his mouth meets mine again, I groan at the taste of salt and myself lingering on his tongue.  He's always confident and commanding – and I love it – but this time he pauses and meets my eye.

"Can I make love to you? Please?" he asks hoarsely.

"God... you better." I give a breathy laugh.

Jasper smiles, kissing me with a moan.


Change

Jasper seems nervous as he puts the condom on. I can’t think through the haze of lust, so it takes time for me to figure out why. It isn't until he's hovering over me, his lips a hair's breadth from mine that it hits me.

It's different this time.

My fingers thread in his hair, my eyes locked with his as I whisper, “I love you, Jasper.”

I feel him smile as we kiss. I moan into his mouth when he enters me slowly. Once his hips are flush with mine, he murmurs, “I love you, too, Edward. So much.”


Contradiction

Our union is a mixture of contradictions – slow and sweet, sultry and needy. Jasper's hips roll against mine, driving him deeper, harder... faster.

His breath comes in pants that carry my name and words of love – so many things I've waited so long to hear. Before long, physical bliss overtakes the emotional wonder, and I find myself begging. "Oh fuck, baby... please. Just like that... just li- oh!"

Jasper's forehead wrinkles in concentration as he does exactly what I ask, filling me until I can feel nothing but him – just how I want it.

"Can't..." he grunts, shuddering. "Oh fuck!"


Plead

His arms tremble with the effort to remain upright. A near-whine escapes me as his movements stop. “Please, please... so close, baby...”

He merely nods, taking steadying breaths as he shifts his weight to one arm. His hips move again, though I can see how much effort it costs him. We both moan and mutter, “Oh God, oh God,” when he takes me in hand.

This time, it's Jasper begging, needing me to come almost as much as I do. “C'mon, sweetheart, please... need you to... Oh God, Ed, I love you, please...”

Those words push me over the edge.


Need

Everything is still for long moments as we recover. Jasper’s body is a welcome weight on mine, pressing me into the mattress even as I hold him tighter.

When he lifts his head, I expect a lazy smile and his typical, “Thanks, darlin’” – words that I both love and hate. What I don’t expect is the way he kisses me hungrily, desperately, as if he just can’t get enough.

I struggle to keep up, and we’re both laughing breathlessly when he pulls out and slides to lie at my side. His hand is hot where it rests on my chest.


New

He stares at me with an intensity that would be awkward if it didn't fill me with a sense of being cherished.

“I love you,” he whispers so softly, I'm not sure I'm meant to hear it.

I cover his hand with mine, squeezing lightly as I hold it above my heart. “Love you, too.”

My own voice is hoarse with emotion. For the first time after making love with him, I feel... complete. Before, I'd always feel hollow and wanting because what I wanted seemed so out of reach, even if he was lying right beside me, but now...


Balm

His kiss is soft and sweet, and when he pulls away, he watches me again.

“What is it?” I ask quietly, tracing his jaw with my fingertip.

He flushes and looks away before meeting my gaze with a sheepish smile. “Don’t get mad, please?”

I raise one eyebrow, not making any promises.

“I… I kind of thought there was something… wrong with me last time I was here. I had this crazy urge to tell you I loved you. It just…” He trails off, shaking his head before giving me a sweet smile. “I’m glad that urge is still here.”


Light

I chuckle, closing my eyes, shaking my head in disbelief – and relief. When I open them, I smile, cupping his cheek. “I'm glad it is, too. Hopefully it'll never leave.”

At that, he half-lunges, half-pulls, and I find myself wrapped in his arms so tight, I can barely move. Jasper's face is nuzzled in my neck where he alternately kisses, nips, and sucks as he practically growls in my ear, “Never. I'm not letting you go, Edward. Not now that I've found you.”

Awkwardly, I hug him, rubbing his back where I can reach. Anchored as I am, I'm floating.


Beginning

Eventually, we part. Jasper cleans us both up and then slides back into bed, pulling the covers over us both. Our bodies heat the small space between the sheets, and I can feel just how close he is – closer than ever before.

Our conversation turns to more mundane things, and I wonder aloud, “When do you think you’ll move?”

“As soon as possible,” he answers.

When I don’t respond immediately, he shifts to one elbow and looks down at me. His smile is half-playful, half-determined when he says, “I’m not going to give you a chance to change your mind.”


Plan

Threading my fingers through his hair, I pull him in for a kiss before whispering against his lips, “I wouldn't dream of it, love.”

His smile widens at first, then turns into a frown. As I'm about to ask what's wrong, he murmurs, “Not sure when, though... I've got a couple of meetings scheduled this week, and I'll have to get things in order with my boss since I'm taking the desk job...”

His voice trails off before picking up again, checking with me what would work best. After some back and forth, we settle on three weeks from now.


Settle

Even though it’s early, we lounge in bed, talking and kissing. Jasper is freer than I’ve ever seen him before. He pins me to the bed and tickles me, laughing as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.

Maybe he doesn’t now.

Whenever he looks at me, I see so much in his eyes – relief, hope… love. It makes me feel carefree, too.

He pulls me to sit and then settles in front of me, half in my lap as his legs wrap around my waist. Kissing me deeply, he whispers, “Thank you for giving me a home.”


Home

Cupping his cheek, I smile. “Thank you for finally making my house a home, Jasper.”

His brow furrows slightly in confusion, so I explain that this has never felt like home unless he was here with me. That I'd always felt lonely and... cold, when he's away.

“You moving in, being with me... it's everything I've always wanted, Jasper,” I admit quietly, adding, “And everything I thought I'd never have,” in my mind.

To my surprise, Jasper nods, his eyes shimmering. “We can make this a home together, then,” he promises, kissing me.

I nod. “That sounds perfect to me.”