Without You

A/N: Happy Birthday loss4words! We know things aren’t easy at the moment, so we wanted to do a little something to brighten your day. We love you, and hope you enjoy it.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

ooOoo

Picture

God, I miss him.

Sitting at my desk, dressed in nothing but Edward’s pajama top and my panties, I stare at my screen-saver - a collage of pictures of us. I can’t help but smile, my fingers trailing over the images of us.

Walking hand-in-hand on the beach.

Edward giving me a piggy-back ride across the river.

Edward, his chin on my shoulder and his arms wrapped around me as we smile at the camera.

And so many others.

“Only three more weeks,” I sigh, reminding myself. “You can do this, Bella. Those three weeks will fly by, you’ll see.”

Liar.


Restless

After getting dressed, I take my laptop to the deck and wish for the first time that I had somewhere to go for work. Normally I love that my job is entirely online, but I could really use the distraction of other people around.

I find myself checking my email over and over again as the manuscript in front of me goes untouched.

Finally, I give up and open my instant messenger. I know he won’t be on because he rarely gets a chance to sit down, but the next best person is.

Hey, Ally

I smile and hit send.


Distraction

As always, Alice knows me well enough to realize that I need to get out of the house for a while, so after chatting for half an hour, she tells me to meet her at our usual haunt: Becca's Tea House.

Fifteen minutes later, I've changed into more suitable clothing for what Alice calls “our tradition.” Whenever we need some girl-time, we go there and have tea. The place is amazing and has an old-world feel to it. It even has hats and things to try on, so you can really get into the spirit of it.

“Bella!” Alice calls.


Relax

As warmth from the tea spreads through me, I feel tension draining from my shoulders. Glancing up at Alice over my cup, I can’t help but smile.

“How’ve you been?” she asks, her gray eyes revealing her concern despite her grin.

“I’m okay,” I answer honestly, shrugging. I bite my bottom lip, debating, but then the words spill out in a rush, just like they have from the moment I met her. “I just miss him. I know it’s stupid…”

She listens to me babble, offering the insight and words of encouragement that drew me to her to begin with.


Enjoy

We sit and talk for another hour, sipping tea and enjoying scones and cucumber sandwiches. As always, Alice insists we try on a few hats and take pictures – with our phones, of course. I give my usual mock-protest, but I secretly enjoy it as much as she does.

When Alice actually shoots off a few of the images to Edward's cell, I groan, burying my head in my hands.

She rolls her eyes, grinning.

Soon, both our phones beep.

You both look lovely. <3 E

Alice nudges my side. “See?”

Shaking my head, I hug her. “Thanks, Ally. For everything.”


Relief

I smile as I drive back home. Alice has always been able to make me feel better – about anything. I still can’t believe my incredible luck to have such a fantastic best friend and then to have fallen in love with her brother on top of it.

Even better is knowing he loves me, too.

It took a long time for me to accept that he really didn’t see me as just Alice’s silly friend. I can’t imagine life without either of them anymore.

I’m pulled out of my thoughts when I arrive and see a package on my doorstep.


Surprise

When I pick the box up, I almost fall over, surprised by how light it is considering it's almost my height.

The label tells me it's from Edward, and I smile as I hurry inside. Putting the box down by the sofa, I quickly open it to find a huge teddy bear.

Plucking it from its box, I squeal. He's so soft and cuddly – exactly something I'd have picked out for myself. Hugging it to me, I lean forward, rummaging through the box for a note.

It takes me a moment to realize there's one attached to the bear's paw.


Instruction

Seeing his handwriting makes something in me ache, and I scold myself again, trying to remember that it’s only a few more weeks. Pushing aside both longing and admonishment, I read his note.

B-

I hope that this bear can bring you some comfort on the nights I can’t be there. I’ve missed you more than you know.

By the way, can you go up to the office and see if I unplugged my desktop? I keep forgetting to ask you.

All my love,
E

I frown down at the note, torn between amusement and annoyance at the strange message.


Follow

Muttering under my breath, I walk upstairs, the bear clutched tightly under my arm. “Seriously, Edward? You've been gone how long, and you're worrying about-”

I stop mid-sentence when I glance at his desk and see a note taped to his unplugged power chord.

What the hell?

Kneeling down, I pull it off and step to the window in order to read, still holding onto the bear.

B,

Thanks for checking. I need you to do one more thing for me, if you would.

For several minutes, I stare at the note, befuddled. I automatically move to do as asked.



Find

My excitement grows as I follow one note after another, each more inane than the one before it. I know he must be here, and I can barely stop myself from racing to the bedroom, sure he must be waiting there. I'm enjoying his game too much to ruin it, though.

Checking the air filter to make sure it isn't clogged, I squeal and hug the bear when the note I find finally instructs me to go to the bedroom.

I bite my bottom lip, running on my tiptoes down the hall. When I open the door, he's not there.


Deflate

I can't help pouting as I look around, even going so far as to check out the closet to make sure he really isn't here. Clutching my bear to my chest, I sigh. My eyes start to burn as disappointment settles into me.

When I turn to head out of the room, I spot the note lying on his pillow. I almost don't want to read it anymore, certain now that it's Alice, not Edward, who's been teasing me, although I can’t fathom how.

Reluctantly, I skim the note.

B,

There's just one last thing I need you to do...




Deck

My feet are shuffling as I make my way to the deck. I'm too afraid to hope anymore, and I sigh before pulling back the blinds. When I do, my breath catches and I tighten my hold on the bear.

An overflowing vase of lilies sits on the table with petals scattered all around, but my eyes are only for Edward, standing among them in my favorite green button-down.

When he sees me, his eyes crinkle with his smile, and he opens his arms to me. I rush to him, dropping the bear along the way.

"God, I missed you."


Question

Long moments pass where we simply hold each other, exchanging deep, slow kisses.

Too soon, Edward pulls away with a contented sigh. “God, I love you, B.”

My smile's wide as I look up at him. “I love you, too.”

He brushes my cheek before stepping back. Confused, I watch him take a deep breath, then take my hand in his as he takes a knee.

I blush. “Edward?”

Squeezing my hand, his other hand reaches in his pocket. “Bella, I don't want to be without you anymore. Will you marry me?”

A ring hovers in front of my finger.


Answer

It takes me a moment to understand why he’s just sitting there frozen. Then I realize that my squeal of “Yes!” was only in my mind.

“Yes,” I whisper softly, nearly breathlessly. “God, yes, please.”

Our hands tremble as he slips the diamond ring on my finger, and then I do squeal, launching myself at him. He laughs as we fall to the deck with me sprawled on top of him.

His grin is devilish as his hands gently squeeze my hips. “Not exactly how I pictured this, but I’ll take it,” he teases, capturing my lips with his own.