Be Careful What You Wish For Chapter 6 - Communication Breakdown

A/N: One important note for the beginning here - we know some of you balk at certain things that may be suggested in this chapter. Please trust us and read through until the end. Please?

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EPOV

I kicked Tyler Crowley's tree trunk of a leg out of my way as I went to my desk, ignoring his lame attempts to start some shit. He'd probably been thinking of the witty remark all morning – that was how long it took to rub his two brain cells together and produce something like a spark – so it was almost a shame that I wasn't listening.

Fucking moron.

Letting my backpack drop to the floor, I slid into my seat with my legs sprawled out in front of me. I reached into the outer pocket of my bag and pulled out my iPod, slipping the earbuds into my ears and closing my eyes as I heard the opening to "All Along the Watchtower."

I was humming along under my breath and murmuring, "So let us not talk falsely now. The hour's getting late," when I felt a tugging. My left earbud popped out, and I opened my eyes to find Jasper Hale's ugly mug grinning at me as he took his seat.

Okay, so he wasn't really ugly - pretty damn good-looking, actually - but I didn't see him that way. We grew up together, so it was hard for me to look at his clear blue eyes and messy blond hair and see anything but the little kid who whined when Emmett took his ice cream. Or maybe I just didn't let myself see beyond that. Jasper was one of the very few people who'd stuck by me when my life had gone to utter shit nearly a year ago.

Jasper winced as he stretched his long legs out in front of him, and I chuckled, turning off my iPod and tossing it back into my bag.

"Yeah, yeah…laugh all you want, fucker," he grumbled. "You know you should be out there, too."

"Right." I rolled my eyes. "Because I'd be so welcome."

"Whatever, dude. Don't let their shit get to you. You know the team misses you. We'd have a hell of a lot better shot this year with you out there running."

Jasper was on the track team – a team I'd been a part of up until last spring – and they'd been doing early conditioning all week. I snorted. "Not gonna happen, man."

He shrugged and sighed, but he let it drop. It was a topic of conversation at least weekly, and he knew by now that I wasn't going to budge. I guess he just hoped that might change. It was kind of a nice reminder, in a way, that he and Emmett didn't give a shit about what I'd done or who I was. "So the Swan girl is supposed to start today," I said, changing the subject.

"Oh, yeah?"

I nodded. "Yeah, new quarter and all." I started to say more, since I'd already filled him and Emmett in on what Carlisle had asked me to do, but from the corner of my eye, I could see the way Crowley was leaning slightly toward us, his body turned our way even though his head was facing the front. He was always too interested in me and what I had to say.

Closeted fucker.

Guys like him really pissed me off. It wasn't like I didn't know how hard all this self-discovery shit was, but to take out his own frustrations and fears on someone else was inexcusable – and had caused many long hours of conversation with Carlisle as he tried to get me to see Tyler's side and understand why he might react the way he does and blah blah blah.

Whatever. No matter how the good doc put it, Tyler was a prick.

"Hope she doesn't have Charlie's mustache," Jasper said wryly, leaning over to pick up his notebook and a pen as Mrs. Hinton walked to the front of the room to start class. As I was reaching into my backpack to pull out my own notebook, he added, "Oh, but I guess you like that sort of thing."

I hit him with my binder and muttered, "Motherfucker," under my breath. He chuckled, but before I could retaliate, Mrs. Hinton began lecturing. At the first mention of the Civil War, Jasper was gone, his mind filled with imagined battles while I took notes, struggling not to yawn. Jasper was the history buff, in love with wars and politics and disputed borders, while I much preferred…pretty much anything else.

As soon as the bell rang, he snapped his notebook shut and looked at me with a grin. "See you at lunch!"

I shook my head but couldn't help my own smile as I stuffed my things back into my bag and stood up. I stretched my arms over my head with a groan and threw my backpack over my shoulder as I made my way out of the classroom. Jasper's blond head was already disappearing into the crowd when I turned toward my next class.

Tyler was in my Spanish class as well, and we were the first two to sit down as usual, though at opposite sides of the room. Whenever we were alone like this, he stayed as far away from me as he could, like I was going to attack him or something.

Dream on, bud.

I tapped my thumbs on the corner of my desk as I waited for class to start. Before long, Mike Newton came in the room, and I could tell from the bounce in his step and the idiotic grin on his face that he was buzzing about something.

"Crowley!" His grin widened as he made a beeline for Tyler, taking the seat right next to him. He started talking excitedly about the "new meat," gesturing with his hands as he described her figure. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, settling in to spend the class period drawing. Newton thought anything with tits was the hottest thing he'd ever seen – especially if they were new tits. I tried to ignore their crude comments, but they grated on me for some reason.

God damn monkeys.

All they needed was to jump around and beat their chests, and the image would be complete. I shifted in my seat, my eyes narrowing as I opened my mouth to say something, but Emmett walked past me just at that moment, breaking my eye contact and my train of thought.

"Who pissed in your Cheerios?" He snickered.

"Fuck off," I answered absently, my eyes cutting over to Newton and Crowley again.

"Ahh," he said by way of answer, turning to stare at the two morons. "Up to their usual shit?"

I shook my head, making a face as I tried to forget about them. "Nah, they haven't done shit to me. Just piss me off."

Emmett grinned and was about to answer, but Señora Goff picked that moment to stand up from behind her desk. "Buenos días!" she said, her fat face overly cheerful for a mid-level Spanish class so fucking early in the morning.

Never one to be deterred, Emmett pulled out his notebook and scribbled away, looking for all the world like he was taking notes. He shoved it toward me, nodding down at the paper like I was too fucking stupid to figure out he'd written a message for me.

Que pasa?

I snorted, covering it with a cough as I pulled a pen out of my pocket and wrote back, Fucking monkeys are all hungry for a Swan dinner.

Emmett frowned, wrinkling his forehead and pursing his lips as he read my note a few times. He licked his lips and thought for a moment before writing back.

She is pretty fucking hot, dude. I think you'll like her.

What the hell kind of answer was that? I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and felt the frown on my lips.

That's not the point. You know she didn't know about Charlie. Can't be easy to move here and find that shit out – hard enough without the fucking wolves descending because they smell fresh meat.

I shoved the paper back toward him and put my elbow on the desk, resting my temple against my fist as I hid my face from Emmett. Truth was, I wasn't even sure why it upset me, and I felt like a fucking idiot trying to explain it to Em. It wasn't like I owed this girl anything, and it wasn't exactly my M.O. to go out of my way to help someone.

Emmett was too quiet and too still for way too long. It made me wonder if he was actually paying attention for once. Finally, though, he nudged my elbow, and I looked down to see the paper sitting at the corner of his desk again.

Yeah. Guess so.

Great. So he thought I was acting weird, too. It wasn't like Emmett to just drop something like that. I muttered to myself, nodding to let him know I'd seen it, and we didn't speak again for the rest of class.

As soon as Señora Goff had dismissed us with an exuberant, "Adiós!" I stood up and grabbed my backpack. I was frustrated and irritated without fully understanding why, and that put me on edge, but I'd made a promise to myself last spring that I would try to watch my mood swings around Emmett and Jasper. It wasn't that I didn't fucking go off on them sometimes – it was just that I didn't do it without reason.

A good reason.

And this wasn't one.

I rolled my neck, shaking my arms as I tried to shake off the weird tension, and I put a smile on my face as I turned to Emmett. "See ya in a couple hours?"

His grin was already back as he nodded and said, "You know it." He clapped me on the shoulder and headed out the door in front of me.

When I walked into the Art room, I relaxed almost immediately as I went to the corner I'd staked out and spread my shit everywhere so no one would come near me – not that that was usually a problem. I popped my earbuds back in my ears and spent the next hour sketching and rocking out to Jimi and Zeppelin and The Who.

Midway through class, I felt eyes on me, and I lifted my head, taking a quick glance around the room. I had a vague hope that maybe the Swan girl was in this class and I hadn't noticed, but she wasn't, and the only eyes on me were those of nasty ass skank Lauren Mallory, so I lowered my head again with a shudder. She'd had a thing for me since sixth grade, and it had only gotten worse in the last year.

Like I'd let you anywhere near my dick…

Funny thing about my little episode that had labeled me "troubled" and landed me with the good doc as a mentor…people invariably had one of two reactions. They either stayed well the fuck away from me and treated me like the social pariah I'd become, or it was like a magnet drew them to me, the way it did with Crowley and Mallory.

Unfortunately, it was nearly always the ones I couldn't stand who were drawn to me. I didn't like to think about what that said about me.

When the bell rang, I was the last to leave the room. I was never in a hurry to leave Art – it was the one time a day where I never had to interact with anyone, and I enjoyed spending time locked inside my head with nothing but a pencil and paper. Carlisle called it therapeutic, and maybe it was, but to me, it was just something I enjoyed.

The Biology classroom was already full when I strolled in, but my table was, as always, empty. I tossed my backpack into the chair beside me and sat down, stretching my legs out in front of me. I didn't really pay attention to anyone in the room – that is, until she walked in.

I knew at once that she had to be Charlie's daughter – she had his eyes and that same brown hair, but thankfully, she was missing the mustache. She glanced around the room and frowned slightly at something in the corner before her eyes darted to Mr. Banner. I couldn't help myself and followed her gaze, even though I knew what I would find.

Sure enough, fucking Mike Newton was there, his back as stiff as his cock must've been as he craned his neck to watch her. Her obvious dismissal of him put a smile on my face, and I looked back at her, watching her jaw clench as she went to talk to the teacher.

I took the opportunity to really look at her while her attention was elsewhere. Her face was pretty with high cheekbones and full lips, and there was something pleasing about her that I couldn't define - she was just really nice to look at. She was short and thin, but she had a killer body. Her build told me she wasn't overly athletic; she seemed kind of…soft somehow – feminine - but she wasn't sporting the little pudgy paunch that came with hours of Facebook and Taco Bell. She was just in shape, toned, and…

Fucking hot.

I sighed as Emmett's words came back to me. I hated it when that asshat was right.

Didn't matter, though. Somehow, I didn't think when Carlisle asked me to "look after her," he meant "get in her pants." Besides, she really did look like she could use a friend, and one glance at the Mike Newtons of the world told me it wouldn't be them.

I was the only one without a lab partner, so I didn't have to engineer some way to talk to her or invite her over. I simply had to sit back and wait for the inevitable. I reached over, dragging my backpack out of the seat and onto the floor beside me. I saw the look of unease on Mr. Banner's face as he handed Bella a book and motioned toward my table. The irony was that I was his star student – science just came easily to me, like most things – but he avoided contact with me as much as possible.

She walked down the aisle toward me, watching her feet rather than looking around at anyone. When she reached me, she sat down in the empty seat and glanced over, giving me a small smile. I saw her eyes widen just slightly when she really took me in, and I couldn't help the half-grin I gave her in return. I knew I was damn attractive – I'd had enough members of both genders tell me so.

Keep it in your pants, Masen. Carlisle's stepdaughter, remember?

The image of Carlisle's accepting, smiling face put an immediate damper on my interest. The man had been there for me when few others were, and he'd helped me out more than anyone. I tried again, giving Bella a genuine smile as I said, "Hi, I'm Edward."

I heard a low voice behind me mutter, "Of course that fucking freak would…" but Newton trailed off before I could catch just what, exactly, this fucking freak would do. I resisted the urge to turn around and show him what I would do to him and tuned him out instead. It was nothing new.

I saw the corner of Bella's mouth tighten and knew that she'd heard Mike – the idiot didn't seem to realize that it wasn't helping his situation with her any. She held out her hand and smiled brightly as she answered, "Hey...I'm Bella."

When I reached out to shake her hand, she held on a little longer than she should have, and I was the one to pull away with a wry smile as I said, "Yeah, I know…'fraid it's hard to keep a secret in this town very long."

I was testing her a little, goading her to see what sort of response I'd get – see if I could get any clues to whether or not Charlie had told her and what she'd thought if he had. Her eyes darkened as her jaw clenched again, and she gave a little huff as she shook her head once and pulled out her notebook. She mumbled something under her breath, but all I caught was, "…damn well keep secrets…"

Well, the Chief fucking told her…

And it looked like she'd taken it about as well as I would have.

Figuring a science lab might not be the best setting for the "So…you found out your dad is gay…" conversation, especially not within five minutes of meeting her, I sighed and reached into my backpack, pulling out my lab manual and notebook. Mr. Banner was making the rounds, passing out little containers of slides, and I decided to go the small talk route, even though I usually hated that shit.

"So you liking Forks okay?"

She rolled her eyes but gave a half-smile as she said, "Oh, yeah. It's thrilling."

I chuckled, knowing all about how stifling the small town could be. "Well, there's no way you've seen all it has to offer yet. Maybe I'll take you out on the town sometime. Show you the diner." I winked, and she laughed with the first genuine smile I'd seen on her face.

Fucking beautiful.

"How do you know I haven't already agreed to go out with someone else?" she joked.

I could feel Newton's eyes boring into the back of my head, and I knew at once that he'd already asked her out – and, judging from her teasing, she hadn't taken him up on it. And she was fucking taunting him about it.

Right there in the middle of class.

With me.

I love this girl.

Of course, I didn't really love her, but anyone who gave Mike shit was alright in my book. I cracked a smile and said, "Because I can tell you've got better taste than that," as arrogantly as I could. She smiled, her eyes telling me that she knew what I was doing. Her eyes were brown – nothing great there – but there was this little devilish light in them that was pretty fucking awesome.

We talked throughout the rest of class as we worked on the mitosis lab Mr. Banner had assigned. It was pretty mindless, so we spent our time trading insults, both about each other and our classmates. She was easy to talk to, and we seemed to get along well, but I wasn't naïve. There was a really massive fucking subject we hadn't discussed yet, and I had no clue how she would react to it.

So I kept my distance but talked to her and tried to get her to relax a little. Every once in awhile, she would suddenly stiffen and clam up, like she just remembered she was pissed off or something. It was weird, but then she had a lot going on, so I ignored it the best I could and just kept steering the conversation back to something that didn't make her look like she'd just had a broomstick shoved up her ass.

Lunch followed Biology, so as we got ready to leave the room, I said, "Hey, feel like starting the grand tour of Forks with the high school cafeteria?"

She laughed and said, "Yeah, sure…I'll be sure to brace myself so I'm not overwhelmed or anything."

I smirked. "Well, you will be meeting some friends of mine, so that's a very real danger."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, throwing her backpack on one shoulder. "Lead on, tour guide."

As we made our way to the cafeteria, I automatically ignored the wide berth the other students gave me. To be fair, I wasn't the number one topic of conversation anymore, but the habit was ingrained now, and most of them either stared or their eyes seemed to slip over me without really seeing me. It was pathetic, really, how little it had taken in the grand scheme of things to turn the golden boy of Forks High into an outcast.

And there was very little of it I would take back.

If I didn't pay attention to what was happening around me, Bella did. I felt her shoulders stiffen and heard her mutter under her breath – and then I realized she thought they were staring at her.

"Relax, sweetheart," I said wryly. "You're not the freak show in this pair."

I glanced down at her, and she frowned. "What are you talking about?"

With a shake of my head and a small noise of discontent, I muttered darkly, "I'm sure you'll find out soon enough."

She stopped, grabbing my backpack, and I was forced to stop and turn to look at her. She arched an eyebrow at me pointedly.

I shrugged. "I'll tell you myself." Taking a quick look around at all the bodies streaming past us, I twisted so that she had to release my bag. "But later. After school. Okay?"

She tilted her head, lifting her chin as she studied me before she nodded at last. "Yeah, alright." I felt a sharp punch to my ribs, and my head whipped around at her in surprise. "But you will tell me."

Fucking packs a punch…

"Yeah, yeah…I said I would, didn't I?" I shifted my bag back onto my shoulder and started down the hall again. She walked beside me in silence, and I had to wonder what she might be thinking – and what clues she might be putting together. I was sure Newton wouldn't have let the entire morning go by without mentioning at least a little something about me…especially when he was near Crowley.

When we walked into the cafeteria, my table was empty, so I led Bella to the lunch line. We filled our trays with what they passed off as pizza, salad, apple slices, and corn, of all things, and I grabbed a carton of orange juice, while Bella opted for chocolate milk.

As soon as we entered the cafeteria again, I saw that Emmett and Jasper had arrived and were sitting at our usual spot. Before I could begin leading Bella to my friends, however, she said, "Oh, hey…there's Emmett!" and waved, heading straight for him.

The asshole.

Of course she would know Emmett already. Who didn't? I rolled my eyes and followed along behind her. When we got to the table, she sat down right beside him and then finally turned to look at me. "Oh! I'm sorry. Is it alright if we sit here..?"

I smirked. "I hope so…unless these two assholes have jumped on the Masen-is-the-Antichrist bandwagon."

Bella gave me an appraising look, this little wrinkle appearing on her forehead as her eyes filled with concern. I rolled my eyes again, feeling my nostrils flare. I hated that look.

Fucking pity. Who needs it?

Emmett snorted. "Shit, dude, I'm leading the rally to run your ass out of town."

Jasper sighed, stretching his long legs out in front of him as he ran his fingers through his hair. "That shit gets old, Em. Stop being a douche."

"Right." I sat down across from Bella, and Jasper immediately reached out, snatching up a piece of apple from my tray. "Help yourself, dick," I muttered, and he flashed me a grin. "So I guess you know Emmett." Bella nodded, and I caught the way her cheeks flushed as she glanced at Jasper.

I felt a stab of irritation – my first real sign that I was more interested in Bella Swan than I was supposed to be. I shoved it down, trying to remind myself that she needed a friend, not another dick trying to fuck her…literally. "This is Jasper," I said. "Resident mooch."

He gave her the crooked grin he reserved for special occasions, and that little pink on her cheeks got even deeper. Before I could get too annoyed, Angela and Ben walked up with their trays in hand, and our happy little family was complete. I introduced Bella to the two of them, and we all spent the lunch break talking and getting to know Bella better. She told us a little about Phoenix, and I caught her sneaking glances at Jasper from time to time as she talked. It was almost a relief when she started talking books with Angela; before long, they were chattering about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, paying no attention to us at all.

Emmett and Jasper were talking about conditioning for track – they were both on the team – and Ben was, as usual, reading a comic book, so I took the opportunity to just observe while I ate.

And what I saw was that the attraction between Bella and Jasper was definitely not one-sided. He was in rare form, joking with Emmett more than usual, and his eyes kept cutting over to Bella like he was checking to see if she was paying attention. If they'd been birds, he would've been preening his feathers and strutting around, bobbing his head. As it was, he was practically strutting anyway – as much as he could while sitting down and looking like he didn't fucking give a damn about anything, of course.

Bella, meanwhile, glanced over at him while Angela was talking, and every time she caught him looking at her, she blushed again. I was beginning to worry that she'd pass out from all that blood rushing to her head, but thankfully, that particular crisis was averted.

At least it's fucking Jasper's dumb ass and not goddamn Newton.

Or Crowley.

I actually shuddered at the image of Bella with Tyler, and I pushed my tray away, my appetite gone. Jasper pulled it in front of him and began eating as he and Emmett dropped all the sports talk and turned to me, asking what we were doing this weekend. I couldn't help but smile at the fuckers.

Unfortunately, I told them I didn't have a clue. Emmett wasn't affected in the least, though, asking Jasper if Rosalie was going to be home from college this weekend. Jasper grimaced and said, "Unfortunately."

At the look of excitement on Emmett's face, Jasper's eyes narrowed. "And you just better think of something else to do because I guaran-fucking-tee you you're not going near my sister."

"Dude! Why d'ya gotta be such a prick, man?"

I tuned out the bickering couple and tried to think of something we could do this weekend. I usually had a plan – something to get me out of the house – but I'd been so busy at work and thinking about Carlisle's shit situation that I hadn't really thought about it.

Carlisle had never told me what went on between him and Charlie – shit, I didn't really want to know – but I could read between the lines, and I knew that there was a hell of a lot more to this Bella situation. He rarely ever let his own emotions get in the way of anything, but I'd seen the look on his face when he asked me to look out for Bella. He really cared about her, and the fact that she hadn't known Charlie was gay didn't exactly suggest she knew anything about Carlisle, you know?

I knew Renee and Charlie had split up when he realized he was gay – and that Carlisle was part of that realization. Hell, the whole town knew that. What I didn't know was what Bella had grown up hearing. If she didn't know Charlie was gay, there was no telling what she thought about her parents' divorce. After finding out the truth – that Charlie had fallen in love with another man – she had to be wondering how all that shit had gone down, how the hell she'd even been born in the first place.

What a mindfuck.

Carlisle had explained a very little bit about Charlie's reasoning, and I'd put together some of the gossip I'd heard in town all my life to figure out some more. It all boiled down to being afraid of losing Bella completely. But shit…what about losing Carlisle? Did Charlie not realize that that might've been a real possibility if the good doc hadn't been as damn understanding as he always was?

No matter what the reason or how much Charlie meant well, it sucked ass. And it wasn't fair to Carlisle. Now, I knew firsthand how unfair life could be and how much the people you loved could hurt you. But at least I was a prick sometimes. It didn't mean I deserved it, necessarily, but that was at least debatable. With Carlisle, there was no uncertainty - he sure as hell didn't deserve it.

I was so lost in my own musings that the bell ringing to signal the end of the lunch period made me jump. Everyone stood up, still talking, and I followed suit, frowning a bit as I went to put my tray away. I was a little surprised when it was me that Bella looked up to hopefully.

"I have AP English next…what do you have?"

I grinned. "Looks like you're stuck with me another hour at least…"

Emmett held up his fist to me as we started to walk off, and I bumped it with my own, my attention still on Bella as she pulled out her schedule for me to see. I was aware of Jasper running his fingers through his hair as he stood there, for once at a loss for something to say. Angela and Ben fell into step with us, and Bella gave a little cheer when she realized they were both in the class as well.

We all walked in together, still talking comfortably, and Bella sat down in one of the empty seats near me. The class was far from full, and Mr. Mason taught with a mix of discussion and lecture, so our desks were all arranged in a semi-circle around his podium. He rarely used it, though, preferring to perch on the edge of his desk in between his bouts of pacing.

We had just finished reading The Sound and the Fury before the end of the last quarter, so the next couple of days were supposed to be an overall discussion of the novel before our essays were due at the end of next week. As I was about to explain all of this to Bella, Mr. Mason walked over to introduce himself.

They exchanged greetings, and he handed her a copy of the book, saying, "Since you didn't read it with us, you may be excused from writing the essay, but we'll have a test over the novel at the end of next week. Do you think you'll be able to finish it by then?"

"I've already read it," she answered.

His eyes widened, his eyebrows appearing over the thick tortoise shell frames of his glasses. "Did you study it in Phoenix?"

She shook her head, giving him a small, almost shy smile, but I saw the haughtiness in her eyes. "No, I just read it on my own."

"Oh." Mr. Mason adjusted his glasses, standing up straight again. "Oh, well, very good, then. You should be all set?"

I don't think he intended for it to be a question. He seemed a little thrown by Bella, but there was admiration and a tentative respect on his face, too.

I grinned, even though it really had nothing to do with me. She took the novel from him and thanked him, saying she was sure she'd be fine. She cut her eyes to me as she said, "Edward said he'd be glad to help me study."

Mr. Mason smiled at that, genuine kindness brightening his eyes. He had a little bit of Carlisle's compassion, though it was mixed with that infuriating pity that – thank fucking god – I never had to deal with when I was talking to the Doc. He left us alone then, heading to the front of the room, where he sat on the corner of his desk and crossed one ankle over the other knee, revealing his argyle socks.

As soon as he opened his mouth and started speaking, Bella was gone. Completely absorbed, just like Jasper in History. I spent most of the class watching her in amusement. She answered a few questions and asked some of her own. I noticed they all had to do with Caddy, and each time she spoke, that little spark of respect in Mr. Mason's eyes grew.

By the end, he was absolutely ecstatic with his new student, especially when she mentioned someone named Luce Irigaray. I was goddamn lost, but I sat there after the bell rang, listening for a couple of minutes as the two of them chattered away. My grin was definitely amused, and it wasn't until other students started filing into the room that Mr. Mason finally sighed and said we'd better get to class. He looked regretful as Bella walked away, and I couldn't help but tease her as soon as we were out of earshot.

"You're just racking up the admirers today, aren't you, Swan?"

She frowned at me. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

My grin widened at her curse. "Mr. Mason…he was looking at you like he was seeing the second coming of Christ. What the hell were you two talking about anyway?"

She rolled her eyes at me and hitched her backpack onto her shoulders again as she blew her hair out of her eyes in annoyance. "Luce Irigaray? She's a French feminist theorist. I was just asking him about the idea of Caddy as a void. You know, an empty space?"

"Yes, I know what a fucking void is," I snickered as I steered her in the direction of the gym for her next class. We didn't have any more together, but thankfully there were only a couple of hours left. I listened to her as she went on about Caddy Compson not having a voice, and all too soon, we were at the door where we would have to split up.

"This is you," I said, winking with a smile.

She broke off mid-sentence and frowned at me before she sighed. "Fucking hate gym."

"Cheer up, Swan. At least you have it with Newton." I nodded over her shoulder at him. He was leaning against the wall beside the gym door, watching us.

Her head whipped around, glancing at him before she looked back up at me. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"'Fraid not, sweetheart." I leaned in closer, lowering my voice to whisper in her ear. "Try your best not to swoon. I know it's hard."

"Fucking ass," she grumbled, punching my ribs again.

God damn, that shit's gonna bruise if she keeps that up.

I didn't let her see my wince as I laughed. I straightened up again as the bell rang. "Hey?" I waited until she looked up at me and then gave her a small smile. "If you really do want to hear about umm…well, me…" My eyes tightened as they shifted to Newton again, knowing she might very well hear all about me before then. "I'll be in the parking lot after school."

She studied me for a moment and then blinked, nodding. "I'm the monster red truck. You can't miss it."

That was the last she said as she turned and pushed open the door, heading to the gym with her head down. I watched as Newton said something to her, but she just glanced at him and then kept on walking.

I went to my last two classes with a smile on my face. As soon as I walked into Calculus, Jasper grinned and waved me over. We talked a little during class, but Mr. Varner was always a pain in the ass, so we didn't have time to say much, and I escaped without having to get into a discussion about Bella. I wasn't quite sure how I felt yet – either about her or about how he might feel about her, too – so it was a relief to tell him I had to go and escape to the gym with Emmett.

We were playing basketball, so we spent the entire hour running up and down the court, and when it was over, Emmett and I walked around the court a couple of times, letting the locker room clear out before we went in. I refrained from rolling my eyes when the last couple of guys hastily finished dressing as soon as I walked into the room, but my jaw was clenching and my teeth grinding as I undressed and stepped under the shower.

Emmett didn't say anything – he knew better by now – and soon, we were both clean and dressed again and on our way out to the parking lot. We saw Bella at the same time. She was sitting on the lowered tailgate of an ancient red pick-up with a book in her hands, and Emmett bumped my shoulder with a grin. "Fucking lucky bastard," was all he said before he jogged a few steps ahead and called out her name.

She looked up and smiled brightly, waving at him as he ran up to her. He scooped her up in a hug and twirled her around, then put her back down on the tailgate, ruffling her hair just as I walked up.

She was staring at him, her eyes wide in shock with her mouth agape, and I snickered. "Good look for you."

She turned to me then. "Does he always manhandle people he just met?"

"Nope," I said, taking a seat on the tailgate beside her. "He must like you."

"Fuck off," he answered with a grin as he held out his hand to me. I reached out, slapping his hand, and he began walking backward, toward his car. "Hey, give me a call tonight, yeah?"

"Yeah, will do." I raised my hand, waving, and watched him walk a couple of more feet before I turned back to Bella. "So, whatcha reading?"

She stuck a post-it in the book to mark her place, and I caught the words, "miss you," scrawled in purple ink before she closed it and handed it to me.

"The Diamond Age?"

She nodded.

"What's it about?"

She turned around and scooted back into her truck bed, turning so she could lean against the side. "Nano machines and a little girl's primer." She smirked and shrugged. "Science fiction…it's not always my favorite, but I really like that one so far. A friend of mine gave it to me before I left Phoenix." She looked down at her knees, her fingers nervously tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as she blushed.

Something about that blush and the way she said "friend" made my eyes narrow as I wondered just who this friend was. I didn't ask, though, just shifting so that I was sitting across the truck bed from her in a position that mirrored hers.

"Fair enough," I said with a smile. "You survived your first day okay?"

She grimaced but nodded, and we just talked idly for a few minutes before I shifted, my ass falling asleep sitting on the hard metal of the truck. Her face was down, but she was peering up at me through her eyelashes, and I could tell it was coming.

"So…" she said.

And so it begins. I kept my face neutral as I waited to hear what she'd have to say.

"I heard a few things about you today."

"Yeah?" She nodded. "I'm not surprised," I said blandly.

"Is it true?" she asked, and I sighed. I hated that fucking question.

"Depends on what you heard, I guess."

She rolled her eyes at me and ran her fingers through her hair. Her eyes stayed on me while she bit her bottom lip, her forehead wrinkling and making her look like she was thinking hard. Finally, she said, "Mostly I heard that I should stay away from you."

I smirked. "Again, not surprised."

"Don't you want to know why?" She sounded annoyed.

"I have a pretty good idea." My voice was dry, but for the first time in a long time, I felt a stab of something like regret. Most of the time I really didn't care what people thought of me, but it seemed…important…with Bella. Maybe it was because she was coming into this blind, with no preconceived notions, and it was my first chance to see what people from outside this little close-minded town might think about me.

And maybe it's because you do think she's fucking hot, and you want to impress her just like Jasper and goddamn Newton.

My lips twisted in distaste. She frowned at me.

"It's alright with me if you're gay."

How very wrong you are, sweetheart.

Her statement caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting this conversation to go that way, much less start there. "It's alright with you, huh? How very magnanimous of you." My tone was harsh, and I was glad.

Her lip twitched like she was trying not to smile.

What the fuck is wrong with this bitch?

Then she giggled.

"Something funny?" I all but snarled.

"Magnanimous? Really? What are you, eighty?" She giggled again and then snorted when she tried to rein in it.

I couldn't help but chuckle, too. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I'm a freak." She shrugged and stretched her legs out in front of her. I did the same and glanced down at her shoes – light blue Converse with black ink drawings all over them. Pretty good drawings, at that, though I couldn't tell what they were supposed to be.

Huh.

I hadn't realized she was artistic, and the thought put a smile on my face when I looked up at her again. "So other than having the vocabulary of an eighty-year-old man, what else is wrong with me?"

She frowned at me. "Nothing's wrong with you. But if you mean what else did I hear…sort of a lot." She wrinkled her nose – which was actually pretty fucking cute – and looked down, watching her fingers as she played with them in her lap and finally began to talk. "I just heard that you were gay…and that you were…umm…well, you got caught doing stuff behind the bleachers with your boyfriend. And that you have a bad temper. They said you got really pissed off at a track meet last year and beat the shit out of Mike Newton." When I didn't say anything, she finally looked up, tossing her head to get her hair out of her eyes. "Is it true?"

I shrugged, looking away from her. I took a minute to glance around the parking lot as I was trying to collect my thoughts and figure out how much to tell this girl I'd just met. Jasper and Emmett knew the truth, and Carlisle did, of course, but that was about it. My parents knew a censored version of it, but the rest of the town had created their own fucked up story about it. I realized the parking lot was empty – that Bella had let herself be alone with me, despite what she'd heard – and I decided to take a chance and trust her a little bit, too.

Hope you're fucking right, Doc.

"It's…sort of true." I looked back at her, watching her until she met my eye. "Look, it's not shit I like talking about, and most people make up their minds before they ever even meet me, so I haven't really had to tell anyone before." Except Carlisle, I added silently. But as she didn't know about that particular detail yet, I kept it to myself.

She nodded and looked back down. "I understand," she said in a small voice.

"But I'll tell you."

She looked back up at me, her eyes wide. "Really? Why?"

"Maybe I'm just a sadistic fucker and want you to choose a lonely life with the social pariah over party time with the wastes of space."

She gave me a little half-grin. "How do you know I'm not a waste of space?"

"Just do."

She licked her bottom lip and studied me for a minute before nodding. "Fair enough. So spill it, Masen."

She arched an eyebrow at me, and I took a deep breath, my playful mood evaporating as I realized I really was going to have to tell her my story – at least some of it. "Alright, so…" I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at it before I let my hand drop and just started fucking talking. "Well, the bleachers stuff…that's true, unfortunately. I've sort of always known I was attracted to guys, and I've messed around with them and shit." I could feel her eyes on me, but I didn't look over. I wasn't sure how she'd reacted to Charlie's coming out, but she'd already told me she didn't care if I was gay, so she could deal. "And there was this one guy, James, that I really connected with. I thought he was my boyfriend. He wasn't out yet, so everything was hush-hush all the time, but that was alright. I wasn't exactly declaring myself either, you know?"

I glanced at her automatically that time, and she was just watching me thoughtfully, giving no outward reaction at all. For some reason, that made my temper flare, but I pushed it down again, counting backward from ten the way Carlisle had taught me.

Fucking happy now, Doc?

I knew he would be – proud, too – and I shook my head with an annoyed smile. I took a few shallow breaths and then continued, "Anyway, so James was my boyfriend, sort of. We made out a lot, and we hung out a lot, but no one really knew about it – not even Emmett and Jasper because…I don't know why. I just didn't tell them. James was paranoid about his family finding out. He said he wanted to tell them himself, his way."

I made a face as I picked up a stick that must have broken off and fallen into the bed of her truck and began peeling the bark off slowly, just to have something to do with my hands, something to look at. "Well, he showed up at track practice one day and called me over. I won't get into too much of what happened, but suffice to say, we ended up behind the bleachers in a compromising position…" The memory of James' dick in my mouth left a sour taste even now, and I turned my head, spitting over the side of her truck with a grimace before I could go on. "One of the guys came looking for me, freaked the fuck out, and things got fucking insane from there."

I flicked at the bark with my thumbnail, not wanting to look up at Bella, but I was very aware of her sitting just a few feet away in complete silence. "I knew we were going to be in trouble, but I didn't expect everything that happened." I turned just my eyes to her, suddenly needing to have some idea of how she was reacting. Her face was stoic, giving nothing away, and I twisted my lips, looking down at the stick in my hand again. "He claimed I made him. Said it was all my fault, that he never wanted to do anything with me, and that I was basically an emotionally abusive bully who forced him."

Yeah, I fucking forced him to let me suck his cock.

I rolled my eyes at the ridiculousness of that claim…a claim that everyone had believed. "Shit got…" There were no words for what happened after that, but I had to find some. I paused, tilting my head as I thought. "I don't even know. It was just like one thing happened after another. I was pissed off – and hurt," I admitted. I hated to even think that, let alone say it out loud, but I'd actually cared about that fucking asshole. "My parents were pissed. They didn't know who to believe or what to think, and…it was just bad." I stopped short, realizing I'd been about to tell her everything.

This therapy shit with Carlisle is dangerous.

It seemed that after seven months or so of meeting with the good doc and pouring my heart out, it was starting to come a little too naturally. When I raised my head to meet her eyes finally, she was still just sitting there, staring at me calmly.

What the fuck? Seriously.

"Yes?" I asked, just being an antagonizing asshole.

She frowned at my tone, her eyebrows pulling down as she brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. "That seriously sucks."

I snorted. "Yeah, a little."

"So what happened then? I mean…what did James do?"

For some reason, I didn't think that was what she really wanted to ask…but I had no clue what she did want to know, so I just answered as best I could. "Fucking ridiculous shit," I muttered under my breath before raising my voice, trying to keep the raw edge out of it. "He took it to the extreme. He was so fucking afraid of someone finding out that he was gay that he pushed it as far as he could. Restraining order, the whole bit. Eventually, his family moved to give him a 'fresh start' away from the 'hostile environment' I created."

I snapped the stick in two and threw the pieces as hard as I could before wiping my hands on my jeans. "I didn't handle it well," I said blandly, my eyes on Bella's. Despite what Carlisle said about her needing a friend, she also needed to know what the hell she was getting into if she decided to hang out with me. "The fucking morons around here had way too much to say, and I started getting into fights. I didn't even try to control my temper. I was pissed the fuck off, and the world knew it. It was pretty rough. Jasper and Emmett tried to help me. They convinced me to stay on the track team, ignore all the shit, and just live my life. They said everyone would forget about it eventually if I let them. It might've even worked except…"

I trailed off, clenching my jaw as I looked left, where I could see the track surrounding the football field in the valley. I could still feel the bite of the asphalt under my fingertips as I waited for a race to start, taste the sweat of my skin as I ran. I missed it in a lot of ways.

Too fucking bad.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, turning back to Bella, who was still sitting in patient silence. "It was stupid, really. Motherfucking Mike Newton made one comment too many, and I snapped."

For some reason, that memory was always clear to me, always real, and it came to my mind unbidden, forcing me to take a moment to just breathe.

My mind was calm for the first time in days. I could smell the asphalt and the ozone, feel the hot sun beating down on my shoulders. I stretched my legs, squatting down a few times before raising my arms over my head. As I lowered them, I shook them out and took my place on the starting block.

I bent forward, placing my hands on the ground, just in time to hear Newtons's voice say, "Better watch bending over like that around Masen. He might-"

My fist connected with his face with a satisfying crunch, cutting off whatever comment he'd been about to make. I hadn't even realized I had straightened up, but I stood over him as he crumpled to the ground. My shadow stretched across his face, but I could still see the blood pouring from his nose and mouth clearly.

"Masen!" The coach's whistle drew my attention, and I turned my head to find him striding over angrily.

"Oh, shit," Jasper muttered beside me, and I felt Emmett's massive hand clamp down on my shoulder. My hands were still balled into fists, and I realized I'd been about to hit Coach Clapp, too, if he said the wrong thing.

I worked hard to loosen my hands, trying to calm myself with slow, steady breathing, but as soon as he stepped in front of me and began yelling, asking what the hell I'd done, I lost it again. I heard my voice rising over his, obscenities spilling from my lips, but I didn't even really know what I was saying.

At least, not until I yelled, "Fuck this shit! I'm done."

I started to walk away. Emmett's hold tightened for a moment – right up until I glared at him over my shoulder. He let me go, raising both his hands in surrender, and I stalked off, hearing the coach say darkly, "You're already in serious trouble, Masen, but if you walk off this track now, you're off the team. Permanently."

"Fuck you."

I sighed, still hating that I'd let that goddamn asshole be the one to finally get to me. At least he'd been kicked off the team, too. I ran both hands through my hair and looked at Bella. "I punched him on the track, and he fell like the pussy he is, but I just wasn't even thinking. Not really. I quit the team, walked off, and it just got worse from there. I had to meet with the school counselors, and they decided I was 'troubled' and needed more help than they could give me, so they hooked me up with a mentor…someone in the 'unique' position to understand my 'situation'." I made a face and left it at that, realizing that – at last – we'd hit the point where I'd have to give her the one little surprise I had left for her.

Please don't let her get pissed and stop talking to me.

It was a simple but earnest request, and I realized two things as I made it: maybe I wasn't quite the atheist I thought, and I already liked having Bella around…it would suck for her to just abandon me like so many others had.

"A mentor?" I could hear the frown in her voice.

I nodded. "Yeah, you know…someone to talk to, someone who's sort of been there and can pass on wisdom or whatever."

I was walking a fine line. I didn't want this to suddenly sound heavy and important, but I also really did respect Carlisle – and I knew he was likely to be a sore subject for Bella. It was a fucking terrible place to be, but it was something only I could do for him…so I would try.

"Wisdom, huh?" she mused. "Did it work?"

A smile flitted across my face. "Yeah, I think so. Not exactly the way they hoped, but it's…he's cool."

"Well, that's good." She brushed her hair away from her face and muttered, glancing up at the sky as it started to drizzle. "I'm really glad you found someone to talk to about…well, all that shit. It's kind of…" She stopped suddenly, sighing as she bit her bottom lip and shook her head. Her eyes widened as she continued, "I know how much it fucking sucks not to be able to talk to anyone about something."

Her words were cryptic, delivered in a darker voice, and I got the distinct impression that she was talking about more than just Charlie.

So little Miss Swan has secrets of her own…

I really didn't want to reveal my secret, but there was no way around it, not being who I was in a town this small, so I didn't respond, steeling myself instead before I said, "Bella…you should know…" Light rain had started to fall, and I waited until she wiped the moisture from her cheek and met my gaze. "Carlisle's my mentor."

Her spine stiffened, and she stared at me, her eyes growing harder as her jaw tightened.

Jesus, so that's what they mean by "shooting daggers"…

Her head whipped around, her thick hair blocking her face from my sight as she scooted to the end of the truck and hopped down. I could hear her muttering under her breath, though the only words I understood were "should've fucking known."

I scrambled out of the truck and caught her arm. "Should've known what?" I kept my voice as calm and level as possible, trying that soothing shit Carlisle always used on me.

She squirmed, pulling her arm away. "I should've fucking known Charlie would pull some shit like this! He can't even let me have a normal life at goddamn school!"

I held up both hands, spreading them apart as I tried to get her to calm down. "Charlie didn't do anything. I swear."

She just glared at me, her nostrils flaring, but at least she didn't storm off.

"Honestly. Look, if it helps, I think it's completely fucked up that he never told you. I mean…what a mindfuck, huh? Move in with your single, straight dad just to find out he's gay and…not single."

There was a flash of something in her eyes – pain, I thought, but something more – and she lifted her chin, squaring her shoulders like she was preparing to fight me or something. My own back straightened, responding to the implied threat, and I had to force myself to relax, to let my shoulders drop and my hands loosen.

"And I know how much secrets can suck, no matter which side of them you're on. So I didn't want you to go home not knowing that Carlisle is my mentor, but he has nothing to do with the fact that I want to hang out with you." I gave her a small smile that she didn't return. "I think you're pretty fucking cool. I like you, Bella, and I hope that we can be friends."

It was maybe the cheesiest thing I'd ever said in my life, but she gave me a small, timid smile before her face fell and she sighed, leaning back against the truck and running her hands across her face. The rain was beginning to pick up, and I stepped toward her, reaching out to open her door.

When it creaked, she lowered her hands and peered up at me, her face much closer than I expected it to be. I was still holding on to the door handle, but I couldn't seem to make myself move or tell her to get in the car. We stood there with the rain falling between us until she gave this weird groaning sigh.

"What is it?" I asked quietly.

"I'm just wondering why the hell I had to move to a town where everyone is gay." There was frustration apparent in her voice, and I felt my lips twitch toward a smile as it became clear that – no matter what she thought of Jasper – she was attracted to me, too.

Of course, there was a glaring misconception I needed to clear up.

And you're supposed to be her friend, remember? Just her friend.

I wanted to growl, but instead, I decided to tease her a little. "I hardly think the three of us would constitute the entire town." She rolled her eyes at me, and I leaned in closer, reaching up to cup her cheek as I traced the shell of her ear with my thumb. I lowered my lips to her other ear and breathed, "And besides…I'm not gay. I'm bi."

She gave this little gasp as I let my hand drop and turned around, striding away. When I'd walked a few feet, I looked over my shoulder at her and called out, "Get in the truck, Bella. It's fucking raining out here."

She gaped at me, and I faced forward again with a chuckle, feeling her eyes on my back as I went to my car and got in. When I started the engine, she was still staring, and I couldn't help but laugh at the expression on her face. I made a shooing motion with my fingers, and she jumped, narrowing her eyes at me even as her grin broadened. She climbed into her truck at last and closed the door as the engine grumbled and roared to life.

Sorry, Carlisle…I'm trying, but she's so damn fun to mess with.

And beautiful…

It seemed like Doc and I would have quite a bit to talk about at our next meeting. I just hoped that Bella would be speaking to him by then – maybe that way he would be in a good enough mood that he wouldn't kill me.

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Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 7

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