Marked Ch 16 - What I Wanted to Say

EPOV

Mornin', darlin'. Just making sure you're up and finishing your packing. Will pick you up at eleven thirty, so you'd best get to steppin'. See you in a couple of hours. J.

My thumb traced the side of the screen as I re-read the text Jasper had sent me this morning. I shook my head as I realized I had been staring at it - again - with a stupid smile on my face. Though I wished he could come with me on my trip, and I hated the fact that I wouldn't be seeing him for about a week, the thought that he cared enough about me to want to make sure I was ready...and that he wanted to spend as much time together as possible before I left...

I glanced at the clock on my phone, sighing when it read 11:02 AM - a little less than half an hour before he would be here. For once, I was actually all finished packing - had been for the past hour - and I was left trying to figure out what to do with myself as I waited for Jasper to come pick me up. I had triple-checked everything I needed for my trip, and all my bags were sitting by the door. Even though I was really looking forward to seeing my family again, part of me still felt sad to leave - I didn't want to be away from Jasper for so long. It had sucked bad enough the last time we were forced apart due to first his work and then mine.

The TV was on some soap opera, not that I was paying any attention. My thoughts kept going between Jasper and seeing my family. I would have loved nothing better than to introduce him to them, but I suppose that it was just as well. I wanted to do it, but I wanted to introduce him as my boyfriend, and we just weren't there yet - as much as I yearned for us to be... that, and more.

I snorted softly, shaking my head at getting ahead of myself again.

I wonder what Tanya will have to say about all of this.

Turning the TV off, I decided to go over things one last time. As I was going through my carry-on, the thought occurred to me that I could still show them who he was, even if I couldn't present the man in person. I knew Tanya, especially, would love to see Jasper. I hurried to my desk and rifled through the bottom drawer, pulling out a small pocket-sized photo album. With a grin, I sat down in my computer chair and picked up the stack of pictures from our day at the zoo - I flipped through them quickly, taking out the ones I wanted to show Tanya. I included a couple of Jasper, both with me as well as with Emily. I paused for a moment and then picked up the more intimate ones - including the one of us kissing - and stuck them behind the last picture in the album. Emmett would never let me live that shit down, but I wanted Tanya to see them...and I wanted to see what she thought of them.

The doorbell rang right as I put the last of the pictures in the small album. I smiled as I made my way to the door, putting the pictures into my carry-on before opening the door to a grinning Jasper.

Fuck, what that man does to me...

My eyes drank him in. He stood on my doorstep, wearing a brown suit that fit him so well he looked as if he had been poured into it. He had one hand in his pocket, causing the suit jacket to flip open a little. His other hand was tangled in his hair, giving him a cocky, slightly nervous look - I couldn't make up my mind which, since he was shifting his weight from foot to foot, and his eyes were flickering between mine. I reached out, wrapping my fingers around his tie, and I chuckled when I noticed the print was Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man, depicted over and over again in tan and blue. I grinned at him as I pulled him closer, and he willingly followed, our lips meeting tenderly as his hands came to rest on my hips.

He deepened the kiss, moaning as his tongue brushed against mine. The grip he had on my hips tightened as he pressed closer to me, and I began pulling him back inside, wanting to take this further - not caring that I was supposed to be leaving. He followed for a couple of steps before apparently coming to his senses. He chuckled softly as he broke our kiss, gently rubbing the tip of his nose against mine.

"Mmm...Edward, as much as I would love to do what I know you're wanting to...we can't, sweetheart. You have a flight to catch, remember? And I'm supposed to be taking you out to lunch first."

My pout as I ran my fingers over his tie just caused him to chuckle again, his lips brushing against mine all-too-briefly before he sighed. "I'm gonna miss you, Princess."

I let go of his tie, slipping my arms around his waist as I hugged him close, nestling my face in the crook of his neck even as he did the same to me.

"I know...I'm gonna miss you, too, Jazz," I murmured. So fucking much.

I felt his arms close around me as he held me, and it struck me again how good, how right it felt to be there - I wondered if it was the same for him, though I didn't dare ask him. I thought it might be, given how he seemed to be trying to breathe me in the same way I was him, how he held on tight as we just...were.

He cleared his throat, pulling away so he could look at me. He reached his hand to cup my face, making me smile at the tender gesture. Glancing to his right, he said, "Are those all your bags?"

"Yeah, that's everything."

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. The heavy feeling that was starting to settle in my stomach got worse as I watched Jasper's eyes narrow ever-so-slightly. Before I could ask him about it, though, he grabbed my suitcase and carry-on and started walking out the door with a look of determination on his face. Frowning, I gathered my coat and my other bag and locked the house before following him to his car. He had just put the bags in the trunk as I walked up to him and put the rest of my things in it, too.

He closed the trunk with a quiet click. He stood there for a moment before pushing off with a quiet huff, shaking his head. I wondered what was going through his mind, so I took his hand in mine and pulled him to me. "Hey, are you okay, baby?"

He glanced away for a moment, as if to gather his thoughts. When he looked back at me, he nodded, smiling - though it didn't quite reach his eyes the way it normally did. "Yeah, I'm fine, darlin'. This just feels...I don't know...weird..?"

He shrugged, and I chuckled. "Yeah, it kinda does, huh?"

He nodded again, pressing his lips to my forehead, and murmured, "Come on, we'd better get going if we're gonna feed you first."

I sighed dramatically and said, "If we must," causing him to grin. I was happy to see the light back in his eyes, even if he was rolling them at me. I winked at him before turning to get in the car. I hadn't even gone two steps when I felt him smack my backside and grouse, "Get your sweet ass in my car, Dr. Masen."

I laughed, shaking my head as I got in and buckled up. I didn't pay any attention to where we were going, content to just watch Jasper as he drove. When he pulled into a parking spot, he frowned and just sat there for a moment, his hands flexing on the steering wheel.

I put my hand on his arm, squeezing it lightly as I watched him carefully, wondering what was going on. Something told me that whatever was bothering him this time didn't have so much to do with my leaving, but with something else altogether. "Jazz?"

He blinked slowly and turned in his seat to look at me. The frown marring his brow and the worry I saw in his eyes set me slightly on edge. He took my hand in his and let out a long breath, his gaze fixed on mine as he apologized.

"What for, Jasper? Tell me what's going on in that head of yours, please? You're starting to worry me here."

He gave a rueful smile then, squeezing my hand even as he ran his fingers through his hair with the other hand. "Sorry, darlin', I didn't mean to worry you; it's just..." He paused, his eyes flickering to the building he had parked in front of, but I stayed focused on him. "Remember last week when I asked Lee about James?"

I nodded. "Yeah?"

He sighed. "Well...it just didn't sit right with me, how he's gotten out of meeting me every time - and, believe me, I've tried several times now."

I nodded again but stayed quiet, letting him continue.

"I called Lee last night after I got home, except she wasn't there. She'd left her phone to charge in her dorm, so Irina answered it when she saw it was me. I asked Ri where Emily was, since she told us Saturday she would be home all weekend, studying. James apparently stopped by, and they went out together. Ri sounded off, and something just..."

He shrugged and then scrubbed his face with both his hands before continuing, "When I asked about it, Ri said James didn't ask Emily to go out. He just showed up and told her they were going, and she went - even though she wasn't done with her assignment. The one she said was due today?"

I frowned. The way Jasper was talking, the way he looked - as if he were talking about a memory rather than a conversation about someone else - on top of the information he was giving me about his sister made me feel uneasy. Uneasy, and worried.

Running my fingers through his hair, I asked quietly, "That doesn't sound good, baby...I can understand that the situation worries you - it does me, too. But why were you apologizing to me earlier?"

He grimaced. "Because..." He gestured to the building. "I asked Irina a few questions after that, and she happened to know where James was working. He should be on shift right now, as a matter of fact. She gave me his description, too."

I glanced at the building, which I could now see was a restaurant. Raising an eyebrow, I turned to look back at him. "Are you trying to tell me you wanted to have lunch...here? To check him out?"

He nodded, biting his lower lip as he watched me carefully. "I know I should've asked, but...I was kinda hopin' you'd go with me. I figured if you were with me, I wouldn't be as inclined to do something stupid... Lee would kill me for doing this, but I just..."

As if he'd even need to ask...

I cupped his cheek and smiled softly. "It's okay, Jazz. I don't mind, and to be honest, I'd probably have done the same thing. So, are we going to sit here, or are we going to get in there and eat? Because I'm hungry, and unfortunately I have a flight to catch in a couple of hours."

He grinned and leaned across the console, kissing me briefly. "Thank you."

Rolling my eyes with a chuckle, I got out and walked around to his side, taking his hand once he had gotten out and locked the car. As soon as we got inside, a hostess came up and ushered us to a table by the window. She told us our waiter would be with us shortly and asked if we'd like some coffee, to which we both said yes. She came back not long after with what looked to be a fresh pot, and after pouring us each a cup, she left us to our devices. I saw Jasper looking around, and I knew he was trying to see if he could pick out James. I leaned over the table, covering his hand with my own, and said in a low voice, "What does this guy look like, baby?"

Jasper started to turn to look back at me when he stiffened in his seat, his eyes narrowing as he looked over my shoulder. His voice was tight when he spoke. "Like that. I think that's him."

He nodded slightly to where he was looking, his eyes never wavering. I turned in my seat to follow his gaze and saw a guy about three tables down from us, talking to a couple of customers. From what I could tell, he looked to be in his early twenties, had long, dirty blond hair that was tied back in a pony tail, and he seemed to have a strong physique. He was shorter than us and a little broader in the shoulders. I couldn't see his face from where I was sitting, though.

I turned back to Jasper, only to find him staring hard at the guy. I reached for his hand again, squeezing it lightly as I murmured, "Hey, you okay?"

He blinked, shaking his head as if to clear it, and looked at me with a sigh. "Yeah...just... I'm sorry..." He gave me a half-hearted grin as he tangled his fingers with mine and continued, "See, this is why I wanted you with me. Thanks, baby."

I smiled, "Anytime, Jasper."

Jasper's eyes flickered to the guy again as we heard someone call out, "James, food's up!" I turned around in time to see James straighten up and head to the back, confirming that he was indeed the right guy. I heard Jasper take a deep breath and felt his fingers tighten around mine. He had a thoughtful look on his face when I sat back to look at him again, and I wondered what he was thinking. Before I could ask, our waiter showed up - thankfully, it wasn't James, as I had a feeling that would not have gone well - and took our orders.

After the waiter left, Jasper put his elbow on the table and rested his forehead on his palm for a moment - he seemed to be collecting himself. I wished I had the heart to ask him what was really going on with him, but every instinct warned me to tread lightly here. Clearing his throat, he sat back up and smiled softly at me, apologizing once again.

"Not exactly how you imagined spending your last couple of hours here, huh?"

I grinned at him, shrugging lightly. "It's okay. Still get to spend them with you, right?" I meant it, too. I was happy that he wanted me with him, that he had needed me with him - that had to mean something, right? It did to me, anyway.

He blushed, and I chuckled as I took his hand in mine again, pulling him forward a little so that our hands were resting on the middle of the table. "Seriously, Jasper, it's okay. I don't mind, and like I said before, I'd probably have done the same thing. I'm glad you wanted me with you."

He smiled then, changing subjects by asking what my plans were once I got to Memphis. I told him that Tanya and Emmett were supposed to pick me up from the airport, and that I'd just be hanging around with the rest of the family for the first couple of days.

As we were talking, our food arrived, and we dug in. Jasper occasionally asked a question here and there about my family, while I answered as best I could, wishing he were coming with me instead. I had a feeling he'd get along well with everybody, and I was certain Tanya and Aunt Livy would...well...quite frankly, they'd dote on him. They would both have picked up on the same things I had when it came to Jasper - that he had been hurt in the past and that, in a way, he needed to be taken care of, loved. I felt a little strange thinking along those lines, though, because I had seen firsthand that his friends and sister, at least, did just that.

But still...

Jasper kept glancing up during lunch, and I knew each time the instant his eyes had fallen on James - they would tighten, and at times his breath would catch. Whenever it did, I would look to see what had caught his attention. James was either unaware of us or didn't care - regardless, he seemed to be flirting a lot with every skirt around, customers and coworkers alike. I knew that flirting with customers usually resulted in bigger tips - it was something a lot of people in the service industry did - but knowing what I knew, I could see where it wouldn't sit well with Jasper. Hell, it didn't sit well with me. But if all he was being was flirtatious, there wasn't anything anyone could do about it - or should, really.

We had both finished eating when we saw James being very friendly with one of the waitresses - but, again, maybe that was just how he was... God knows both Jasper and I were terrible flirts at times, so it wasn't like we had much room to talk on that front.

The waiter cleared our plates away, leaving the folder with our check in it. I picked it up before Jasper could reach for it, raising an eyebrow in challenge at him as I put my card in and left the folder on the side to be picked up. Jasper rolled his eyes, huffing softly - the slight twitch of his mouth told me that he didn't mind as much as he was trying to make me believe. I grinned at him, and he just shook his head as he muttered, "This is going to be a 'thing' for us, isn't it?"

I chuckled, shrugging. "Doesn't bother me, baby."

Just then, there was laughter from behind us, causing us both to look up. James was squatting next to one of his tables, talking fairly intimately with the girls there. I turned to look at Jasper, and I could see his jaw clench, his brow furrowing as he tried to control his reactions. I reached over the table for his hand, and he put it in mine; I rubbed soothing circles over the back of it as he returned his attention to me. I frowned at the anguish and pain I saw reflected in his eyes, wishing once again I could know what had happened to put it there. I knew this wasn't just about Emily anymore, but I was afraid to ask him.

I sighed softly. "Jazz, he could just be a major flirt...it could be nothing."

He huffed, averting his eyes to look out the window. I couldn't blame his reaction. I didn't really believe my words, either. There was just something about that guy that had my alarm bells ringing, too. I could only imagine it was worse for him, and yet...

I squeezed his hand to get his attention. "Jasper? Emily is your sister. What do your instincts say about what's going on?"

His eyes flickered to James, but he didn't speak. I could see several emotions flit across his face, each one making my heart ache more for him. I got the impression that he didn't trust his own instincts, that he had wanted me here to see what I made of it.

I wonder...

I tried to keep my expression even, but I wasn't sure if I managed it because the nerves I suddenly felt almost stopped me from asking - and I wasn't sure I really wanted to know the answer. "Jasper...what do your instincts tell you about me?"

His eyes widened as they snapped to mine, a look on his face that was somewhere between panic and uncertainty. As he watched me silently, his eyes became guarded, wary. I swallowed as I added, "You don't have to answer that...just...think about it?"

He nodded as he continued to watch me, his eyes flickering to James every now and then. The waiter stopped by our table to pick up the folder, dropping it off again a few minutes later. By the time I had signed the receipt and handed it back to the waiter again, Jasper had still not spoken, and I was starting to regret having asked him about it.

I looked at my watch and sighed, running my fingers through my hair as I said, "We'd better get out of here if we want to make it to the airport on time."

He frowned, biting his lip as he looked intently at me, and for a moment I thought he was going to say something. Instead, he cleared his throat and got up, waiting for me to follow him before walking to the car. He opened my door for me, still with that same intent look on his face, and I could tell he was struggling with something. I could have kicked myself for ever having brought up the subject of how he felt about me, because I realized that was, in essence, what I had done.

Great job, Masen. So much for not pushing him and letting him come to you on his terms.

Before I could get in the car, though, he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me so tight it was almost painful. I welcomed it, especially when he burrowed his face into the crook of my neck and mumbled, "I'm sorry...I don't even know how to answer your question...I wish I did, but I don't..."

I could hear the emotion in his voice, and as much as I hated knowing that I had upset him, I silently thanked the heavens above that he, at least, hadn't told me to go to hell...or taken off running. I held him close to me, wishing we could go home - wishing he would finally just tell me what had him so messed up inside; tell me, so that we could try and work past it.

I almost told him I loved him right then and there, but the words thankfully faded from my lips before I could put them out there. After what had just happened, I knew that it would be unfair to tell him now - now, when he had basically admitted that he was confused and that he wasn't sure of himself, let alone anything else. I realized that it wasn't fair to me, either, but I didn't care. He had shown me in so many small ways that he cared about me that I was sure that what was building between us wasn't one-sided. It couldn't be. Especially not after the other night. And I had figured out a long time ago that Jasper had been hurt in the past, so if it took him more time to work things through, then I would have to give that to him. And telling him I loved him - though it would feel good to me to finally say it - would not be allowing him that time.

Instead, I kissed his cheek and said, "Shh, baby. It's okay."

He tightened his hold on me, shaking his head, and I thought I heard him mumble, "No, it's not," but I wasn't sure. He didn't give me the chance to ask, though, as he pulled away and - grabbing my face in both hands - gave me a hard, but brief, kiss.

His eyes were dark, tight; I could tell he was trying hard to keep a handle on his emotions. His hands still gripped my face, so I lifted mine to cover his, gently prying them lose and twining our fingers with one hand, while the other cupped his face.

I wish I didn't have to leave.

My voice was hoarse with emotion as I fought to keep myself under control. I wanted to tell him that I loved him and beg him to please just open up to me. I wanted to help him, but I had no clue how, and I hated the fact I wouldn't be here when it seemed he needed me. "Baby, we really do have to get going...I can't miss my flight."

He sighed and nodded. "I know..." He leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips before ushering me into the car.

In what seemed like no time at all, we were at the airport, saying goodbye. I had finally remembered to give him the CD to give to Ben, and he'd put it in his visor so he wouldn't forget. We had checked my bags in and stuck together for as long as possible before I absolutely had to go through security in order to get to my flight. As we hugged, he nuzzled my neck lightly and let out a soft sigh, muttering, "Thank you for being there today, sweetheart. And...I'm sorry." He tightened his hold on me, his voice lowering as he added, "I'm going to miss you, Princess."

I burrowed my face in the crook of his neck, my eyes tightly shut in an attempt to keep the stupid tears that were threatening to spill over at bay. I wasn't sure why, exactly, either. I just had a bad feeling about leaving, apart from missing him like hell, of course.

"I'm going to miss you, too, Jazz."

With one final, fierce kiss, he let me go, asking me to text him as soon as I had landed so he would know I was safe. I nodded. "I will, promise."

He left before I'd even gone all the way through security. Part of me was stung by that, while another part wondered if maybe this was so hard for him that he simply couldn't stay and watch. I hoped it was the latter, because the thought of him being so indifferent as to just leave...hurt. Badly.

I shook it off, hoisting my bag over my shoulder as I made my way to my terminal. The flight itself was uneventful, and I spent most of it trying not to think about lunch or Jasper...and failing miserably. I felt off - worried - and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was leaving something behind. The only thing I knew for sure was that I didn't like that thought - at all.

By the time the plane had landed, I had half-convinced myself to make my apologies to everyone, take the pictures I knew I needed to take, and head home as soon as I could. When I had finally gotten my luggage together again, I was already trying to plan out how to do just that. It wasn't until I heard a long-missed and familiar voice call my name that my thoughts returned to my family again. Jasper was momentarily forgotten as I spied strawberry-blond curls bouncing through the crowd.

"Tanya!"

She came rushing to me, a wide smile on her lips as she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me for all she was worth. My arms slipped around her waist as I lifted her off the ground, kissing her cheek. She laughed, wiggling as she tried to get back to her feet, muttering, "Put me down, Eddie!"

I grinned, swinging her from side to side for a few moments before slowly lowering her to her feet. She giggled, shaking her head as she made a grab for my carry-on. I twisted out of her reach before she got a hold of it, though. "Not a chance, T. You know I don't trust anyone with my camera."

I winked at her as she rolled her eyes - the small niggle in the back of my mind reminding me that that wasn't quite true anymore as I thought of Emily and subsequently Jasper. Something in my demeanor must have alerted Tanya to what I was feeling because she ruffled my hair tenderly like she used to do when we were younger. "Hey, everything okay, sweetie?"

"Hmm? Oh...yeah, yeah I guess, it's... Argh! Emmett!"

Two strong arms circled my chest, and I felt myself being lifted off the ground this time, even as I felt his chest rumble with contained laughter. I glanced over my shoulder to find my cousin grinning wickedly at me. "Turn about's fair play, Eddie; haven't you learned that yet? Mess with my sister, you mess with me."

This time I was the one rolling my eyes, as Emmett winked at me and put me down. "Yeah, yeah, good to see you too, fucker." I turned around so I could give him a proper hug as Tanya and Rose laughed at us. I grinned as I stepped up to Rosalie and hugged her tight, kissing her cheek as well. "Hello, Rosie, it's good to see you. I didn't know you'd be here, too."

She smiled, hugging me back. "Yeah, well, you know how Emmett can get. Besides, it's been too long, and I figured, why not?" She narrowed her eyes at me, her hands clamping down on my shoulders as she said, "How's my baby? Are you taking good care of her?"

I chuckled, nodding. "Yes ma'am. Regular oil changes, wax jobs, tune-ups, you name it. She's in tip-top shape." Some things never change. I smiled at the thought.

She grinned at that, pulling me in for another hug, which I returned gladly. It felt good to be home - well, sort of home. Emmett clapped me on the shoulder and said, "C'mon, Eddie, we're under strict orders to bring you straight home. Mom's been cooking all day, as usual, and Dad said he'd be there by the time we got back, so..."

I grinned, slipping an arm around Tanya's waist as Emmett took my luggage, leaving the cart I had been using behind. "Alright, let's get to it then."

On the drive to Aunt Livy and Uncle Everett's house, Emmett and Rose caught me up on their lives. Tanya kept grabbing my hand, a look of excited anticipation in her eyes whenever I caught her watching me, but she didn't say a word - I knew she had news. Big news, if her behavior was anything to go by - it wasn't like her to hold back. I had a feeling I knew what it might be, but I would let her come to me with it.

Rose had just finished telling us about a couple of students in her class that had gotten in trouble for messing around during shop when we arrived at the house. The place looked the same as always. The garden around the house was in full bloom, and I knew that Aunt Livy's vegetable garden would be sporting pumpkins, some late corn, peppers, and several other staples. The house itself looked exactly as I remembered it, though I noticed as I walked to the door that there was a new porch swing now. For some reason, the fact that the old one had been replaced made me sad - I had spent a lot of time on that swing when I first got here, mostly with Aunt Livy...or alone. It had been where we had a lot of our talks, where a lot of my tears of mourning were shed as she had held me close. It had been where I had come out to Aunt Livy before finding the courage to tell my uncle - somehow it had seemed...harder...to tell him, since he was my mother's brother.

I shook my head to rid myself of thoughts of the past. Rose had walked ahead of me and held the door open for the rest of us, and as Emmett followed behind me - insisting on carrying all my luggage, except my carry-on - he bellowed, "Mom, we're here!"

Aunt Livy's voice carried her smile to us. "In the kitchen! Edward, come say hello to your old aunt."

I chuckled as I walked into the kitchen, the familiar sight of Aunt Livy behind the stove warming my heart. She had been the cornerstone of my time here - she and Tanya both. Stepping behind her, I made sure she wasn't doing anything potentially dangerous as I hugged her, kissing her cheek as I smiled. "Hey, Aunt Livy...it's good to see you again." I took a deep breath and hummed. "Mmm, something smells amazing, as always. What's cooking?"

She smiled, reaching her hand up to pat my cheek lightly as she kept stirring with the other. "I'm glad you're finally here, sweetheart. We've missed you. As for what's cooking...just some of your favorites, dear. As always."

Giving her another big kiss on her cheek, I hummed. "I've missed you, too. It's good to be back."

"I'm glad to hear that." She turned her face and called out for Emmett to set the table. I stepped away to give him a hand, and before too long, everything was done. Emmett had taken my things to my old room, so I quickly went to freshen up before dinner. By the time I got back downstairs, Uncle Everett had arrived and swept me up in a bearhug, much like his son had done.

"Edward, my boy, it's good to have you here again. Don't stay away so long! Your Aunt Livy likes having you here to fuss over and gets cranky when she has to go too long without."

He chuckled at her indignant cry, wrapping his arms around her waist as he nuzzled her neck briefly, whispering something in her ear that caused her to blush and giggle, swatting at his hands playfully. I smirked as I caught Tanya's eye - she shrugged and said, "Some things just never change, do they?"

Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I shook my head, smiling. "Nope...and I'm kinda glad for that."

Aunt Livy ushered us all to the table, where everything was already waiting. She always went out of her way whenever I came to visit, and this time was no different. I gaped at the spread laid out before me: everything from mashed potatoes, gravy, and her homemade chicken fingers, to fried okra, pinto beans, and cornbread. Whereas back in Boston my food preference went to Asian - both when it came to cooking it and ordering it in - there was nothing that could beat my aunt's home-cooked meals. I was glad it wasn't every day fare for me, though - I think I would've gained a few too many pounds if that were the case.

I thanked her for going through all this trouble, but as usual she just waved it off, saying it was her pleasure before telling everyone to eat up. Over the course of dinner, Uncle Everett asked me how my book was going, and I told him that I was getting close to the end and hoped to get the last pictures for it while I was here in Memphis.

Not a moment of dinner passed without conversation punctuated by appreciative hums, and by the time we'd polished off the last of the peach cobbler, I was stuffed and remembering why I didn't eat this way often. Tanya had grown more and more quiet as the meal progressed, and I knew it wouldn't be long before I found out what she had to say.

Sure enough, as soon as we "kids" had finished washing the dishes and putting them away, she slipped her hand into mine and asked if I felt like going for a walk. I dried my hands on the dishtowel hanging from the oven door and gave her a small smile. "Sure thing, Shortcake."

She grinned at my childhood nickname for her. She'd loved all those Strawberry Shortcake dolls, and Emmett and I had given her hell about looking like one. She'd been "Strawberry Shortcake" - or some version thereof - to me ever since. "I'm going to go change," she said before pulling me into a hug. "It's so good to have you home."

Emmett and Rosalie had disappeared, most likely to have coffee with my aunt and uncle in the den, so I took a few minutes to go upstairs and use the restroom, just getting settled in a bit. I thought about Tanya's words, about where my home truly was now, and I realized that more and more - even more so than the last eleven years - my home was in Boston.

Jasper...

I sighed softly and picked up my suitcase, putting it on the bed before I opened it. I started to unpack and then realized abruptly that I'd forgotten to text him in the excitement of seeing Emmett and the rest of my family again.

Shit!

I pulled out my phone and flipped it open, starting to text him, but I felt a hollow ache. I didn't want to talk to him through impersonal words on a screen. I wanted to hear him, to make sure he could hear me. The sense of foreboding I'd had before leaving welled up again, and I worried that he would take it the wrong way that I didn't send him a message immediately.

My mind made up, I stuck my head out the door and called, "Hey, Tanya? I'm just going to make a call. I'll be out soon."

I heard her "Sure thing," from down the hallway, and then I closed my door, shoving my suitcase to one side of the bed as I kicked my shoes off and stretched out on my back. I stuck one hand behind my head, hitting the number for Jasper's speed dial with the other.

"Hello?" he said almost immediately, putting a smile on my face.

"Hey, baby...it's me. I know I was supposed to text, but I just...wanted to talk to you. Hope that's alright?"

I heard the sound of paper rustling and wondered if he was drawing again. He chuckled. "Of course it's alright...I was just beginning to get worried about you."

We talked for several minutes as I filled him in on the flight and dinner with the family. There wasn't a lot to tell, really - not yet, though I thought that I might have more news after my talk with Tanya. Jasper sounded a little down, or possibly tired, as he told me about what he'd done after I left. As I suspected, he'd been drawing a bit, and he said he'd also been working on Bella's quilt. He seemed listless, but when I asked about it, he teased me, saying, "You're the one that wore my ass out this weekend."

I snorted, and when he caught on to what I was laughing about, he joined me. "Yeah, yeah...you know what I mean..."

I grinned, happy to hear him sounding more like himself. We hung up not long after that; he said he was going to head to bed early, and I promised to call him the next day to let him know what was going on with Tanya. I felt empty, somehow, as I hung up the phone, and I wished intently - not for the first time - that he was there with me.

Sighing quietly, I dropped my phone onto the bedside table and stood up, unpacking quickly. I hung up a few shirts in the closet, but most everything went into the dresser drawers. My camera was resting on top, safely stowed away in its case, and I couldn't resist checking to make sure it was okay. I unzipped it, taking a quick peek inside, and then I sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling off my socks and rolling up the cuffs of my jeans so they wouldn't drag the ground.

Tanya was already downstairs, sitting outside on the porch swing. When I stepped out the front door, she stood in silence and took my hand, smiling at me. We walked across the yard to the pond, our bare feet sinking into the cool grass. Night was descending, and there was very little light that reached this place from the house, but our eyes adjusted quickly to the gloom as we settled against the trunk of one of the weeping willows.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. My chin rested on my knees as we sat quietly for a minute, just staring out over the lake. It felt good to be here again - this had been where Tanya and I had gone to talk. It was ours; it always had been, and probably always would be. I couldn't help remembering when we were in high school and she had taken me here to talk about boys - more to the point, to talk about the crush she had on one of the international exchange students. He was named Caius, though he had insisted on being called C, or Cas - I never could say I blamed him for that. She'd talked about him constantly, gushing about his accent, his eyes, the way he had looked at her - or at other girls. I'd mostly just watched in amusement, since I'd never seen Tanya fawn over anyone before - at least, never quite like that.

Tanya's elbow to my ribs brought me out of my reverie as she asked quietly, "What were you thinking about? This new guy you're seeing?"

I chuckled softly, shaking my head. "Actually, I was just thinking about Caius...your little crush from high school? Remember him?"

She blushed and giggled as she playfully shoved at my knees, causing me to almost fall over. I caught myself, though, and sat back against the trunk, stretching my legs out as I crossed one over the other. I watched as Tanya stared out over the lake again with a slightly dreamy look to her face. She muttered, "I wonder what ever happened to him?"

I shrugged. "Dunno..."

Silence hung over us again for a while before she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She shifted against the tree so that she was leaning sideways against it, her knees somewhat pulled up and touching my thigh. Her eyes were alight and her bottom lip had disappeared between her teeth even as the corners lifted up in a smile.

I raised an eyebrow at her when she still didn't say anything. "C'mon, Strawberry Shortcake; talk to me?"

She smacked my chest, and I rubbed the spot in mock-pain - she really hadn't hit me all that hard, but it made her smile. "Don't call me that!" she scolded.

Smirking, I wiggled my eyebrows at her, and she laughed, holding up her hands. "Alright, alright! I can't keep this to myself any longer anyway!" She took another deep breath and spoke quickly on the exhale. "I'm pregnant!"

It took me a few seconds to register her words before my eyes widened. "You're...you did it? Already?"

She nodded fervently, her strawberry-blond curls bouncing around her face. She was beaming with joy, and it was catching. I hugged her tightly to me as I whispered in her ear, "Congratulations, T! I'm so proud of you."

She sniffled quietly and muttered, "Thanks, Eddie."

I lifted her a little, shifting us so that she was in my lap. She rested her head on my shoulder as we cuddled up and she told me about visiting the clinic, getting tested, and then finally getting the news. Every once in a while I would tighten my hold on her, but I didn't say anything, just letting her get it all out. I knew she wouldn't have talked to anyone about this yet, and I wanted to give her the chance to share this with someone that she knew would support her in her decision. As much as we both loved our family, we both knew that they would resist the idea of her becoming a single parent - though, in the end, they would be there for her all the same. It just wasn't in their make-up to not be there for someone - especially when it came to family.

After she was done, we sat quietly for a few minutes as we each let the reality of this new situation settle on us. Kissing her lightly on her forehead, I whispered, "So, when are you going to tell the others?"

She sighed, sitting up so she could look at me, and I could see the hesitance in her eyes. "I was hoping to do it while you were here, but I'm just not quite...ready yet. I'm happy I did this, Eddie; I want this baby more than anything; you know that..." I nodded as she paused for a moment. "I'm just worried how they're going to react, Mom and Dad especially."

I cupped her cheek and smiled softly at her. "I know, T. It'll be alright. They love you, and I'll be there for you for anything you need. You know that, right?"

She rolled her eyes with a grin. "Yes, I know. That's why I wanted you here when I told them."

I nodded, and we sat in silence for a few minutes. I rubbed her upper arm and said, "Well, I'm here for a week...do you want to maybe take a few days, and..."

I trailed off as she shook her head. She looked up at me, her wide eyes determined as she said, "I want to wait, I think. At least until I'm past twelve weeks." She took a deep breath, shifting back to sit on the ground and lean against the trunk of the tree as her hand went to her belly. It was still flat, but a small smile graced her lips as she sat that way. "You'll be here at Thanksgiving, right?"

I nodded, a soft smile on my lips as I told her that I would be.

"Thanksgiving, then. That way I'll know that everything's okay with the baby..." The happiness that gleamed in her eyes and danced on her lips was priceless. "Well, as much as I can, of course. And you'll be here..." She nodded as if convincing herself and then turned to me. "It's perfect."

I agreed and after a few more minutes, we decided to go back inside. How Aunt Livy did it, I never had been able to find out - and I doubted that I ever would - but there were two mugs of hot cocoa waiting for us by the time we got into the kitchen, just like when Tanya and I were kids and had gone out for our talks. We grinned at each other as we took our mugs and sat at the kitchen island, just enjoying the quiet as we looked out the window. I reached one hand out to her, and when she slipped hers in mine, I squeezed lightly.

We sat like that for a while, and my thoughts went to what was to come now. I prayed that everything would go alright, that the baby would be healthy, and that Tanya would have a good pregnancy. I wasn't too worried about her not getting any support, but I still hoped that our family would come around quickly. She'd need them, more than she probably realized - and though I had promised I'd be there for her, I also knew that that was easier said than done with my living in Boston. That wouldn't stop me from hopping on the next flight if she ever needed me - though I hoped that if that ever were to happen, it would be with Jasper by my side.

I felt Tanya squeeze my hand and turned to find her looking at me questioningly. I frowned as I looked into my cup before leveling my eyes with her and murmuring, "Would you mind very much...can I tell Jasper?"

Her eyebrows raised slightly at my question. In truth, I wasn't even sure why I had asked - it wasn't as if it really mattered if anyone in Boston knew about the news or not; it wasn't likely to get back to anyone here. I just knew that it mattered...to me. She asked me about him, and we sat and talked for a while as I told her about him - a mixture of sadness and happiness evident in my voice as I spoke. When I told her I had brought pictures with me, she had me run up to get them. When I got back, she flipped through them without a word, but there was a small smile playing on her lips.

I took the small album as she handed it back to me, but instead of setting it to the side, I flipped to the back page. My cheeks heated as I felt her eyes on me, but I pulled out the hidden pictures all the same and mumbled, "Didn't want Emmett giving me shit about them, but...here..."

I passed the few pictures to her and watched as she looked at each one in turn. Her smile alternately brightened and softened, and when she got to the one of us kissing, she paused, running her finger through the air over the image, careful not to touch it. She gave them back to me and looked up, nodding once.

"He's important to you, isn't he?"

I glanced down at the picture of Jasper pressed close to me, his lips on mine, and I felt warmth spread through my chest. I tucked them away with care and closed the album, rubbing the cover lightly as I said, "Yeah, he is..."

She got up and made us each another cup of cocoa before we moved into the living room, where we lounged on the couch. We talked about Jasper and everything else that had been going on in our lives - aside from the pregnancy thing, of course. By the time I finally went to bed, I was exhausted - too tired to do more than strip out of my clothes, pull on my pajama pants, and get into bed. I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I woke the next morning to my phone alerting me that I had a text message. Squinting at the clock that stood on the nightstand, I groaned.

Fucking kidding me? Five in the morning?

With a grunt, I reached for my phone, flipping it open. Any irritation I felt at being woken up at this ungodly hour was gone as soon as I saw the picture.

Jasper...

I smiled at what I recognized was a sketch of me...and the message under it: I miss you, Princess.

After staring at it for a minute, I finally typed back, telling him I missed him, too, and wishing him a good day. He had mentioned going into work early this week so that he could make up for having taken the half-day in order to drive me to the airport. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was no good; my mind was on Jasper. It had only been a day, and yet I missed him like crazy - which was a little ridiculous, considering we often went for days without seeing each other in Boston. But that was just it - we could see each other whenever we wanted to, whereas now we weren't even in the same state.

Burrowing my face into my pillow, I groaned. My mind began churning with everything that had happened the last few days, but before I could let myself get too hyped up or worried, there was a knock on my door, swiftly followed by Emmett as he walked in.

I raised my head and glared at him. "What the fuck, Emmett? You mean to tell me you still haven't learned to wait for someone to say it's okay to come in?"

He plopped down on the other side of the bed, facing the footrest as he stretched out, grinning. "Nope."

I turned on my side so I could see him as he made himself comfortable. "What the fuck are you doing here this early, anyway?"

"Dude, not my fault you don't hold a proper job. Some of us are up this time of day every day, in order to make a living. Anyway, I took today off, figured I could show you a few places that might be good for your book - make a day of it. What do you say?"

I rolled my eyes and huffed, kicking him lightly in the side from under the covers. "Do I have a choice?"

He shook his head and grinned. I chuckled, shaking my head as well. "Well then, I guess that sounds like a fabulous plan. Now get the fuck out of my room so I can go take a shower and get dressed! I don't need an audience, thank you."

"Like I want to see your pasty ass..." Emmett laughed, and I threw a pillow at his face, telling him to shut up. He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at me as he said, "Bet you wouldn't mind an audience if it were...what's his name again...Jasper?"

I growled, narrowing my eyes at him as I repeated my demand that he get out. It was too damn early to deal with this shit, and I knew he'd want the scoop on Jasper later. He left, calling out, "None of your 'special time' in the shower, fucker. I want to leave here before noon."

I threw my other pillow at him in response, which he ducked easily as he closed the door behind him.

It didn't take me long to get showered and dressed, especially since I didn't bother shaving. I found Emmett in the kitchen - not that that should have surprised me, since it was by far his favorite place in the house. Aunt Livy's cooking might have had something to do with that, though. What did surprise me was finding Emmett behind the stove, cooking up some eggs and hashbrowns.

Stopping by the fridge, I turned to him and asked, "When the hell did you learn to do something with food besides shove it in that freak show you call a face?"

He huffed, muttering, "Fuck off. I've cooked before..."

I snorted. "Dude, Top Ramen does not constitute 'cooking'."

He grabbed the potholder that was hanging by the stove and threw it at me. "Smart ass."

I chuckled and grabbed the juice and a couple of glasses, putting them down on the kitchen island before picking up the potholder and hanging it back in place. Emmett finished making breakfast, and as we ate, he explained what he had in mind for the day. After the dishes were done and put away, I grabbed my camera, and we were on our way.

Emmett showed me around town, and we stopped at a couple of overpasses, playgrounds, warehouses, and other random places that held some graffiti I thought might work. It was cool to hang out with him, but it was strange, too. I had known a lot of the places we went to growing up, but some of them I hardly recognized anymore. So much had changed over the years; it was hard to believe. I actually felt lost a few times, and Emmett said that times had been tough for some of the area. He also showed me around some of our stomping grounds after lunch, and I took pictures just for the hell of it - though, if I was being honest, I did so with half a mind of being able to show them to Jasper. I wanted to share these places with him.

We stopped by our old school - taking a break as we sat on a bench in the park opposite the building - and we sat and reminisced for a while before Emmett finally turned the topic to Jasper. I was surprised he'd held off this long before bringing him up.

"So, Eddie, what's the deal with this guy, huh? Why isn't he here with you?"

I leaned back on the bench with a sigh, staring at my feet as I answered him. "What do you want me to say, Em? He's not here because he couldn't get time off from work. As you so eloquently put it earlier, some of you have to work at a proper job in order to make a living."

He bumped my shoulder lightly, and I looked up at him. "Did you ask him?"

I rolled my eyes at him, giving him a half-smile as I huffed, "Yeah, I asked him - and he tried...I think."

He frowned. "You think?"

I shifted in my seat so I could rest my elbows on my knees, clasping my hands in front of me as I sighed again. "I don't know, Emmett. I know he likes me, maybe even as much as I like him. He's just...hard to get a read on sometimes, you know? Like he's holding back. He..." I paused, frowning. "I know he's been hurt in the past, and I can't help but wonder just how badly, and..."
I couldn't finish - the worry I'd felt before about Jasper came rushing back to me, and I couldn't quite make myself voice my concern. It would make it too...real - as if it would make something bad happen. Groaning softly, I buried my face in my hands and just sat there for a moment. I lifted my head slightly at the feel of Emmett's hand resting on my shoulder and found a look of compassion in his eyes as he said, "That sucks, Ed. I'm sorry."

We sat and talked for a while longer, and I told him more about Jasper - what little I knew, what I'd figured out on my own, and what I had witnessed, as well as how he made me feel. For all the crap Emmett sometimes gave me, he had always supported me and had always been willing to lend an ear. I knew he genuinely cared, and it felt good to get his perspective on things. Kate knew me better than anyone, but Emmett had grown up with me...plus, he was a guy and just...Emmett.

Like Kate, he was able to make me really think about what I wanted - and what I needed. I knew all of it already, of course, but at times we all need reminding, and that's what he did for me.

I had no idea how much time had passed when his phone rang. He glanced at it briefly before answering it with a grin, winking at me. "Hey, good lookin', what can I do you for?"

I rolled my eyes and called out, "Hi Rose!"

While Emmett was on the phone, I pulled my own out to check the time - and to see if I had missed any calls or texts. I was a little disappointed to find none, and I put my phone back in my pocket right as Emmett ended his call with "I love you, babe; see you in a few."

Hearing him say that made my heart ache a little. I wanted what he and Rose had, and I wanted it with Jasper - badly. Seeing my face, I heard Emmett sigh as he reached to place a hand on my shoulder once more. His voice was more tender than he usually let people hear when he said, "It'll be alright, Ed. If he's really the one for you, things'll work out. Will take some work, though...and bro...you two need to talk. Soon. Not talk as in 'Oh, Edward...harder!'" His voice became breathless and an octave higher as he teased me. I snorted, and he grinned before saying normally, "But a heart-to-heart. You both need to know what page you're on before you can see if you can work towards an end together."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know...it's just...scary. What if telling him makes him run off? I don't want to lose him, Em. I can't."

He squeezed my shoulder. "And if you don't tell him, you might risk losing him anyway. Sorry, bro, but you need to suck it up and talk to him; try to get him to open up to you, too. If he loves you half as much as you do him, he'll do it."

I nodded. "You're right." I huffed softly, running my fingers through my hair roughly. "Guess that's something to do when I get home, huh? This isn't shit to take care of over the fucking phone."

He gave my shoulder another squeeze before standing up and stretching his arms over his head, rolling his neck to get the kinks out - I could actually hear popping noises as he did. He grinned, holding his hand out to help me get up. I took it, rolling my eyes even as he pulled me in for a hug. "You know we're here for you, Eddie, right?"

Hugging him back, I couldn't help but smile - Emmett never had given a shit what people thought of him, and he had never shied away from showing his affection for anyone he cared about. "Yeah, I know, Em. Thanks."

He patted me on the back once before telling me we'd better get home or Rose would have his balls. Aunt Livy was expecting us for dinner, and you had better be there when she was ready to serve it, or else...

We made it home in time for dinner, and I was actually a little surprised that we had managed to be gone the entire day, given how early of a start we'd had. Aunt Livy had made dinner for five, saying that Tanya had called earlier to let them know she wouldn't be able to make it, but that she would be there the following night.

Uncle Everett and Aunt Livy were both very interested to hear about our day, asking if we'd seen anyone we knew while we were running around. Uncle Everett kept asking questions about the places we had gone to take pictures, and whether I would end up using them in my book. I told him I wasn't sure which ones would come out best, but that in all likelihood most would be used as there had been some very interesting graffiti on some of the buildings as well as one of the playgrounds we'd visited.

The conversation lasted well past dinner as we all talked about some of the things we remembered from when we were growing up. Rose asked Aunt Livy to spill about any secrets on Emmett, and I piped up every now and then to rat out one of his many - usually not very successful - escapades trying to climb out of his window to sneak off and see a girl. Most times Uncle Everett had caught him by the time he'd made it to the ground, and he'd be grounded for a week. Emmett just laughed right along with us, even copping to a few times where he had managed to sneak out, to much amusement and chagrin from both Uncle Everett and Aunt Livy. At least that had never been a concern for them with me.

It was relatively early still when I bade them goodnight. I was tired from the long day and too few hours of sleep, and I wanted to try and call Jasper before it got too late for him. Emmett would be working tomorrow, so I planned to just hang out with Aunt Livy and help her around the house. Rose had said during dinner that she wanted me on Saturday, hinting about a new toy - which, with her, meant that she had found a classic car in need of a lot of TLC to get it back up and running again, and Rose was just the girl for the job.

I changed into my pajama pants and got under the covers before calling Jasper. I was beginning to worry he wasn't going to answer and that it'd kick to voicemail when he picked up, his voice thick and raspy as he said, "'Lo?"

I muttered, "Shit, I'm sorry...it's me, baby; I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." I glanced at the clock, frowning when I realized it wasn't even ten yet in Boston.

He cleared his throat, and I could hear fabric rustling, instantly bringing to mind how he had looked in my bed, all sleep-confused. I bit my lip to stifle my moan. "No, 's okay...went to bed early." He yawned. "Had a long day and didn't sleep much last night, or well, for that matter."

My fingers plucked idly at the covers as I sighed, wishing I could hold him, feel him lying against me as we fell asleep. "I wouldn't have called if I'd realized you were so tired. I'm sorry..."

He cut me off, clearing his throat again before saying, "No, 's okay, really. It's good to hear your voice."

He yawned again, setting off one of my own, and I shook my head to clear it. We talked for a few minutes, but I could tell he was having a hard time staying awake, so I told him to get back to sleep. It wasn't until after he had hung up that I whispered, "I miss you so much...I love you." Closing my phone, I put it on my nightstand before settling on my side, hugging a pillow to my chest as I let sleep claim me.

The next day I didn't wake up until around nine, when Aunt Livy woke me up to let me know breakfast was ready. I made my way downstairs after a quick shower, only to find Aunt Livy already cleaning up everything but what she had left for me. When I asked her why she hadn't woken me earlier, she said that I had looked tired the night before, so she let me sleep in a little. She made us each a cup of coffee before joining me at the breakfast table and asking me what my plans were for the day.

I honestly didn't have any, beyond just hanging out with her, and when I told her as much, I was rewarded with a warm smile as she said, "How about we go pick some apples and make a pie for dessert tonight, like we used to when you were little?"

I grinned, nodding. "Sounds good to me."

As soon as I was done eating, I helped her do the last few dishes before she grabbed her basket and we went out into the garden. As we were picking apples, we talked about how things were going for me in Boston, and she asked me about Jasper once she caught on that I was seeing him. I tried to keep things light, not wanting to dwell on my fears any more - especially not after having resolved that I would try to talk with Jasper about everything once I was back home. Instead, I told her about how he had cooked for me - which resulted in her wanting me to ask him for his recipe for the peanut butter pie he had made me - and how creative he was. In some ways, he reminded me a little of her when it came to the care he took with the things he did, like his drawing or even his sewing.

Aunt Livy grinned at me when I told her he was making his goddaughter a quilt for Christmas. "I think I might like this Jasper. He sounds like a well-rounded young man."

I grabbed the basket, which was now full of enough apples to make several pies, and we walked back to the house as I chuckled. "I'm sure you'd love him, Aunt Livy."

She paused, and when I turned to look at her, she was watching me shrewdly, a slow smile spreading on her lips as she put her hand on my cheek. "If you do, then I'm sure I will, too, Edward."

I blushed, chuckling softly. "Am I being that obvious?"

She nodded, her lips twitching in amusement. "Maybe just a little."

When we got back to the kitchen, she set me to work peeling all the apples, coring them, and dicing them up, while she prepared the crusts. We worked easily together - we always had, which was partly because she had been the one that had taught me how to cook. A few hours and several cups of coffee later, there were five pies cooling on the kitchen island. I had asked her why she had wanted to make so many, and she told me that she intended to freeze one for when it would be just her and Uncle Everett again, two were for dessert tonight, and the other two she was going to take to one of their neighbors who was having some medical issues. She said she was planning on making a few dinners to take to them as well, and I offered to help her.

As we cooked, she talked about what was going on with some of the people I knew from when I had lived here. It was nice to catch up on everything, and before I knew it, we were done with several meals packed and ready to be delivered. Emmett had gotten home right as we put the last lid in place, and he offered to help carry everything over. We didn't hang around, just staying long enough for Aunt Livy to make sure the family didn't need more help. I didn't know them, but we each were hugged in thanks.

Rose and Tanya had both arrived while we were out, and they had set the table. It felt good to just be with family again, everything having its own, familiar rhythm. Uncle Everett came home right as the last dishes were put out, and we spent the evening enjoying each other's company, as well as the food. We played a game of Monopoly at Emmett's insistence, which turned out to be fun, if a bit long-lasting. None of us ended up in bed before midnight, so it was too late for me to try and call Jasper. I flipped open my phone and stared at the sketch he had sent me the other day before putting the phone back on my nightstand and letting sleep claim me.

The next day was just me and Aunt Livy again, since everyone else was working. We had breakfast together - or rather, I had breakfast and she had coffee, as she had already eaten with Uncle Everett. She said she had a couple of errands to run and that I was welcome to either go with her or stay at the house. I told her to go ahead without me, wanting to download some of the pictures onto my laptop and do a little work. She left after making sure I had everything I might need, and then I was by myself for the first time since I had left Boston. It felt a little strange, to be honest. This house was so full of memories, and it had always been filled with so much life that to be here when there was no one around was a little eerie.

I went to my room and managed to do some work before finding myself too distracted. It was a combination of missing Jasper, seeing the edges of the background on my laptop - which I had changed before my trip to show rotating pictures of Jasper, either from the shoot or from our trip to the zoo - and memories that pulled me away from my work. With a sigh, I gave up on working and closed down the computer before finding my way downstairs to the kitchen. I made myself a cup of coffee and stopped by the cabinet in the living room that held the family albums, where I pulled out a couple of them and headed outside.

Placing everything down carefully, I took a seat on the new porch swing, taking a moment to get used to the feel of it. It felt weird, unfamiliar, and somehow not as comforting as the old one had been. I shook my head at the silliness of that thought and picked up the top album, balancing it on my knee as I opened it. I had a similar one at home that Aunt Livy had made me - after my dad passed away, she had taken great care in collecting pictures and memorabilia for me and putting them all together in several books so that I would have them when I grew up. I made a mental note to thank her again for everything she and my uncle had done for me. I knew that they could have easily let me become part of the system, and I was grateful to them for taking me in and giving me a sense of family again after my loss.

I sipped my coffee as I flipped through page after page of my young life before switching to a book that was just about Mom and Dad from before they had me. I smiled when I saw their wedding picture, and I couldn't help myself - my finger traced their profiles as I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I wondered, not for the first time, how they would have felt about how I had turned out.

I was startled from my thoughts at the feeling of fingers running through my hair, and I looked up at Aunt Livy as she stood next to me, her eyes on my parents, smiling fondly at them. Her eyes shifted to mine as she murmured, "They would be proud of you, Edward. Just like your uncle and I are."

It never ceased to amaze me how she always seemed to know what I was thinking...and what I most needed to hear. I smiled at her as she took a seat next to me, shifting the album so it was between us as she leaned toward me a little. "I remember that day..."

Her fingers briefly touched the edge of the picture as she told me about their wedding day, how my mom had been unable to sit still. Mom had ended up behind the piano just to try to get some of her nervous energy out. She told me how my grandmother had given Mom her lace shawl - an old, handmade family heirloom that had been handed down from mother to daughter. I had it now, since my parents never had the chance to have more children aside from me - though I knew that they had wanted to. I hoped that one day I'd have the chance to pass it on to my daughter - if I was ever so lucky as to have a family of my own.

Aunt Livy went on to tell me about the rest of their wedding day - how Uncle Everett had been the one to give Mom away because their father had passed away the year before, how he had given Dad a hard time at the reception, and how he had danced the father-daughter dance at their mother's ins

istence. Some of the details she shared I had heard before, but some were new to me - or I had forgotten them. Either way, it was nice to hear her talk about Mom and Dad in this way, and I felt I got to know them a little better.

We spent hours out on the porch swing, reminiscing, until it was time to go and make dinner. I put everything back in its place before going to the kitchen to help Aunt Livy. She had just pulled out a packet of chicken from the fridge, and I took it from her, putting it on the counter. She looked up at me with surprise, and I smiled as I wrapped my arms around her, whispering my thanks for everything she - and Uncle Everett - had ever done for me.

She hugged me back with a soft sigh. "Edward, honey, we would do anything for you, just like your mom and dad would've done for our kids. You're our family, and we love you. You've given us just as much as we have you; there's no need to thank us. That's just what family does."

Kissing her cheek, I smiled. "I love you, too, Aunt Livy."

She patted my back lightly, her eyes twinkling a little as she said, "Now, be a good boy and help your old aunt with dinner. I need these chicken breasts cut up and put to soak in some buttermilk."

I snickered. "Yes, ma'am."

As we were cooking, she shared some more memories with me, which Uncle Everett added to when he got home earlier than expected. Once he realized what we were talking about, he asked if he'd ever told me about the time Liz had brought Ed home to meet the family. When I told him I hadn't heard that story before, he chuckled and sat down at the kitchen island after grabbing a beer.

Aunt Livy and I continued making dinner as he admitted that his first impression of my dad hadn't been a good one. "I thought he was some kind of 'pie-in-the-sky' hippie who had grand ideas but not much substance. I wasn't too sure he'd be good for Lizzie, but she asked me to try and get along with him, so I did. Try, that is. Your grandpa McCarty and I took him out deer hunting with us, and let me tell you, son...it was one of the worst hunting trips of my life!"

We all laughed as he continued to explain how Dad had been too loud the entire trip, oftentimes scaring the deer off before they had a chance to shoot them - and when Dad had tried to kill one, his shot had been way off the mark. He said they had called it quits shortly after, admitting defeat and going home empty-handed - a first for my uncle.

I grabbed a beer of my own and sat down opposite him, listening as he told me how he had told Lizzie he was sorry and that he had honestly tried; she had told him it was okay, thanked him, and said she understood. He smiled at me, taking a sip of his beer before continuing, "Not long after I'd left Lizzie in the living room, Ed walked in, and I overheard them talking. He told her everything that had happened, admitted to every mistake, and she was laughing so hard she started hiccuping. That was the moment I knew your dad was the one for her. I had never heard her sound as happy as she did in that moment - and the way Ed apologized to her for screwing up, and then told her he loved her..."

He paused, shaking his head with a tender smile on his lips. I glanced down at my bottle as I let his words sink in; the picture he had painted in my head warmed my heart. I looked up when he said, "Ed was a good man; he made your mom very happy, Edward. And when you came along, she was on cloud nine."

I nodded, unable to say anything for the sudden lump in my throat. I gave a soft smile to Aunt Livy when I felt her rub my back soothingly. I knew they missed them as much as I did, and I was glad that they were able to share their memories with me - it helped to keep them alive in my heart, now that it didn't hurt so much to think about them anymore. There had been a time when it had been too hard to talk about them, for any of us, but I had - for obvious reasons - the most trouble accepting that they were both gone. It had taken years, but eventually they helped me get to a place where I was able to remember them with more fondness than sadness - though the sadness still overshadowed at times.

The others came strolling in during our conversation, though I hadn't registered this until Tanya and Rose both came up to me and hugged me. I couldn't help it - I laughed, which in turn started the rest of them laughing. I hugged both girls tightly, kissing them each on the cheek as I murmured my thanks.

With that, Aunt Livy set us all to the task of setting the table, and before long we were having dinner, talking about everything and nothing. I felt comforted, loved, and above all, happy - the only thing that could have made this any better was if Jasper had been here with me.

After dinner, Uncle Everett decided we should watch some home movies, so we all gathered in the living room and got comfortable while he set everything up. Tanya and I took the love seat, snuggling up together as Aunt Livy came around and handed each of us a glass of red wine. I whispered to Tanya so no one would hear, asking her how she was feeling. Keeping her voice low, she said that she'd been feeling a little off today, but that it wasn't too bad. She cradled the glass of wine, putting it to her lips every now and then, but I noticed she wasn't drinking any of it.

We watched reel after reel of old home movies, mostly consisting of Emmett's and Tanya's early years before I joined their ranks, though there were plenty of our whole family together, including the remaining grandparents. As the night wore on, I switched glasses with Tanya, winking at her. It wasn't normal for her to not drink when everyone else was, and I knew that it would tip the others off that something was up, so I decided to try to cover for her. She gave me a thankful smile as she rested her head on my shoulder. If anyone had noticed the interaction, they didn't mention it. After a couple of hours, Aunt Livy called a stop to it, saying we should all head to bed while it was still Thursday, which was greeted with a mixture of tired chuckles and yawns of agreement. I went to bed, once again bemoaning the fact that it was too late to call Jasper. I made sure to set my alarm before finally falling asleep.

It took me a moment or two to remember why I had set the alarm to go off before the goddamn rooster crowed. I grabbed my phone as I tried to wake up enough to sound at least somewhat coherent when I talked to Jasper. Propping myself up against the headboard, I rubbed my face a couple of times before flipping my phone open and hitting the speed dial. The phone kept ringing, making me wonder if he was upset with me and ignoring my call.

"Hi, you've reached Jasper Whitlock. You know the drill."

Frowning, I ran my fingers through my hair as I waited for the beep. Shit, I hate these things...

"Err, hey Jazz, it's me. I was hoping to catch you before work...guess I didn't quite make it? Anyway..." I cleared my throat, feeling like an absolute tool. "I...I just wanted to let you know I miss you, and I...well...just that I miss you. Call me?"

I hung up, closing my eyes as I repeatedly banged my head against the headboard. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Fuck! I should've called him earlier...what if...

Shaking my head with a sigh, I stopped myself from finishing that thought. It did little good, since I was still in Memphis. I had no way of going to see Jasper, and with him not answering my call, there wasn't any way for me to talk to him, either. I pinched the bridge of my nose; my eyes closed as I took a deep breath, trying to keep myself from worrying about things I couldn't change right in that moment. It didn't help, though, as my mind was barraged with images of Jasper either hurt or pissed off or just pulling away from me again.

I kept hoping he would call back, but when my phone still remained silent after a few minutes, I laid back down, settling on my side and closing my eyes with my fingers curled around my phone. I had dozed off again when my phone began buzzing in my hand before the ringtone kicked in, startling me awake. I didn't even bother looking at the caller-ID. "Jasper?"

My voice sounded a little raspy, so I cleared my throat, scrubbing my face to wake myself up again.

"Hey, sorry I missed your call earlier...I was in the shower."

I let out a quiet sigh of relief. "Glad you called back. I've missed you..."

"Yeah?"

I frowned. He sounded disbelieving, and that idea kind of stung - though I suppose it was understandable, since I hadn't called the last two days. Then again, he hadn't exactly been calling me, either. Jesus, can this get any more fucked up than it already is?

"Every day, baby. Sorry I haven't called the last couple of days...I wanted to, but it was too late, and I didn't want to risk waking you up. You're still going in early, right?"

He made a quiet sound of affirmation, and I thought I could hear him chewing on something. Normally having to listen to someone eat over the phone irritated me, but at this point, I would have been content to sit and listen to him do just that for hours. I rolled my eyes at that ridiculous thought and cleared my throat.

"Anyway...I just needed to hear your voice. It feels like it's been forever."

I heard a soft clink on the other end, and then he swallowed before saying, "Tell me about it... Sorry, by the way, I'm having to eat breakfast in a hurry here, running kinda later than I intended to."

I chuckled. "It's alright. I should probably just let you go so you can get on with your day. I..." I bit my lip to stop myself from saying it. Not over the phone! "I'll talk to you later?"

"You better, sweetheart."

Nothing could have stopped me from smiling at his words. "Have a good day, Jasper."

"You too. Gotta run, sorry."

With a sigh, I hung up and rolled onto my other side, placing my phone back on the nightstand before curling up under the blanket again. My thoughts kept circling back to Jasper, and I fell back asleep again with a smile on my face.

A soft knock on the door woke me a few hours later, and I groaned, not wanting to wake up. I had been dreaming about Jasper being here, and knowing he was back in Boston saddened me. Whoever was at the door knocked again, and I huffed, "Come in..."

Tanya opened the door quietly, peering inside with a tender smile on her face. "Hey, sleepyhead, are you going to get up any time before noon, or...?"

I frowned and lifted my head to look at the clock, amazed to see it was already after ten in the morning. I fell back down on the bed, running my hands over my face as I heard the door close and footsteps approaching me. I smiled at Tanya as she slipped onto the bed and cuddled up next to me, just like she had when we were kids. I wrapped my arm around her as she rested her head on my shoulder.

I frowned when I looked at her. "Why aren't you at work? Everything okay?"

She lifted her head and grinned at me. "Everything's fine...well...morning sickness aside, but it's not too bad, really. No, I took today off so we could have some time together. Don't mind, do you?"

I chuckled, ruffling her hair. "'Course not, silly. You should've told me, though; I wouldn't have slept so long otherwise."

She laughed. "Yes, you would have. I know you. Besides, I only just got here - had a few errands to get out of the way first."

I grinned at her. "So what's the plan, Shortcake?"

She mock-glared at me, which just made my grin widen, earning me a smack on my chest. She narrowed her eyes at me. "Watch it, mister, or I'm going to make you go shopping with me."

I gasped, feigning horror as I put my hand to my chest, my eyes wide and teasing as I said, "Shopping? Oh no, anything but that, please!"

She nudged my side, but her lips twitched as she fought to hide a smile. "You brat. Just for that, you are going shopping with me. For clothes!"

I wrinkled my nose at her, which just made her giggle and say, "Hey, it's your own fault. I was all set for going to a movie or a museum or something, but noooo, you had to be a wise-ass, so shopping it is."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, fiiine."

She grinned and sat up, patting my leg. "C'mon, up you get, you lazy bum. Oh, and you're buying me lunch, too, while we're at it."

"Yes, ma'am!"

She laughed as she got up and left me to shower and get dressed. As soon as I got downstairs, though, she whisked me out the door, barely giving me enough time to wish Aunt Livy good morning. She drove us to the Oak Court Mall, talking about the kids in her class as we went. I mostly listened, still trying to fully wake up.

She looked so happy, and it was evident that she loved her job - and those kids. She and Rose were both teachers, and they loved what they did, but they'd gone in different directions after getting their degrees. Tanya had always had a soft spot for kids who needed a little more help than others, for whatever reason, so she had become a special needs teacher at the elementary level. Rose had chosen to teach shop in high school - something that was perfect for her.

As Tanya continued talking about a couple of the kids, I couldn't help but wonder what life would have been like if she and Rose hadn't met in college. Rose was a little younger, but Tanya had taken a few years off to travel and do some volunteer work, so they'd ended up in some classes together. They'd hit it off immediately, and I remembered the day she had invited Rose over to spend Thanksgiving with our family, as Rose had no family in the area anymore - her parents had moved to Florida to take care of her grandparents.

Tanya squeezed my thigh to get my attention. "Hey, where did you go?"

I shook my head, giving her a small smile. "Sorry, was just remembering when you first brought Rose home with you."

She laughed, shaking her head as she grinned. "I remember that! Good God, I don't think I've ever seen my dear brother so tongue-tied before in my life! It was as if he'd never seen a girl before...too funny."

I chuckled. "Yes, well...he hadn't ever met anyone like our Rosalie before. None of us had, really. Every girl he'd ever been with before had always fawned over him, but Rose just gave him the what-for when he finally did try to make a pass at her. Do you remember what happened after dinner?" I grinned as I thought of Rosalie walking right up to Emmett. She'd grabbed his face between her thumb and fingers, making his lips pout as he watched her in confusion. She'd said, "I suppose you'll do," and then walked off to help Aunt Livy in the kitchen.

Tanya snickered as she pulled into a parking spot. "Oh my gosh, yes! The look on Em's face - priceless! You should've heard Rose, by the way, when I talked to her after that. She couldn't stop talking about him." She sighed softly, leaning back into her seat as she tilted her head to look at me. "I'm glad they got together. They're both much happier people now than they were before."

I nodded in agreement, my brow furrowing slightly as I watched her. "Do you ever wonder if you'll find someone that could give you that kind of happiness?"

She sighed softly, running her fingers through her long tresses as she thought on her answer. After a moment, she smiled contentedly at me. "No...not really. I never really did see myself with anyone, you know? The only thing I ever truly envisioned in my life was becoming a mom...and now I am. The rest...it doesn't matter to me. I know that sounds strange, but... If I ever do meet someone, then none of it will matter; he'll accept me for who I am and for what I've done. If he can't, then he's not worth my time anyway, you know?"

I nodded. "Still...don't you ever get lonely? You know I want a family as much as you do, T, but I can't fathom not having someone to share that with..." I shot her a grin. "Though I'm sure you'll be parent enough for two. You always did love mothering me around."

She smacked my chest lightly, glaring at me even as she laughed. "Oh, shut it, you. This baby will have plenty of love, I assure you."

I put my hand to her neck, squeezing it gently in assurance. "I know, T. He or she could not ask for a better mom. You're one of the most amazing women I know, Shortcake. I know you can do this, and that you'll be great at it. I just want you to be happy."

She blushed, dipping her chin a little as she whispered, "Thanks, Eddie."

I grinned and winked at her. "You're welcome. Now, let's get to that shopping you were threatening me with earlier."

We spent the next several hours going through every store - at least, that's what it felt like. She made good on her threat of clothes shopping - my least favorite kind, though I didn't mind it nearly as much as I pretended. Tanya always had been a lot of fun to shop with, putting on shows if she went to try on clothes - catwalk and all. I had really missed hanging out with her, and I was happy to have gotten the chance to do so on this trip.

One of the places she insisted on stopping by was Lush, and though we went in to find her a new shampoo, I walked out with several bathbombs and other stuff to pamper myself with - much to Tanya's amusement. In the back of my mind, though, I chose a lot of the items because I thought Jasper might like them for when we took a bath together. Some were for relaxation, while others had names like Sex Bombs, Something Wicked This Way Comes, and Happy Birthday. That name hadn't caught my attention, but the smell had, bringing Jasper instantly to mind. The smell of bergamot now seemed to have a Pavlovian effect on my body, making me very grateful for the bags I was already carrying that allowed me to conceal my reaction. I didn't feel like explaining myself to Tanya or enduring the ribbing that would no doubt ensue.

When it was getting closer to dinner time, I started to whine about getting hungry again and being tired. Tanya knew I wasn't being serious, though - I hardly ever was, since I loved hanging out with her. All the same, we made our way back home, purchases and good humor in tow. We arrived right in time for dinner, and everyone was there again, much to both Aunt Livy's and my delight. Everyone seemed to be talking at the same time, but it didn't feel chaotic or rude or anything - this was normal. This was almost peaceful. It was mostly just family and happiness.

I excused myself not long after dinner, saying I wanted to make a phone call, which earned me a fair amount of teasing from everyone. Rose reminded me that I was to spend the next day with her and that I had better get my ass up bright and early. I knew better than to argue with her, so I just nodded and hugged her good night, since she and Emmett were going to go out and catch a movie.

I made sure to close the door, though I didn't feel the need to lock it. Once I was on my bed, I settled myself against the headboard, spreading my long legs out in front of me as I crossed them at the ankles. Hitting speed dial for the second time that day, I bit my lip as I waited for him to answer. This time, he didn't make me wait long, answering on the third ring.

"Well, hey there, stranger."

I snorted softly, rolling my eyes. "Oh, yes, it's been such a long time since I called..." I paused, my voice lower as I added, "Though it does feel like it's been forever, huh?"

He sighed heavily, and I could imagine him running his fingers through his messy curls - mine itched to do the same. "Yeah, it really does. You're coming home on Monday, right?"

I confirmed that I was coming home Monday afternoon, and he asked if I wanted him to pick me up. Part of me wanted to just say yes, but I knew that he would end up having to take a half-day again and then spend the rest of the week going to work early like he had been doing this week. I didn't want to put him through that again, so I told him not to worry about it, explaining my reasoning when I heard the disappointment in his voice. He didn't argue with me, which surprised me a little - I had expected him to put up more of a fight than that. Instead, he changed the subject altogether by asking me about my family.

As I was telling him about spending the day with Tanya - and just about to get to some of the things I'd bought for us - I heard a strange sound.

"What was that?"

The creak of a door opening came through the phone, and then I heard the sound more clearly - a baby crying. "Shh..." Jasper said. "Hey, hang on a sec?"

I said of course and listened, a smile growing on my face as I realized he must be watching Bella. He talked to her softly, and I could hear him walking back and forth. She continued to wail away until I heard some sort of music playing - music that sounded exceptionally familiar. Finally she quieted, and after a minute or two, I heard the door close again and Jasper's soft voice said, "Sorry about that..."

"It's fine, sweetheart...you're babysitting?"

"Yeah, I told Ben I'd watch Bella so he could take Angie out..." He padded down the hallway, and I heard the sound of the refrigerator door opening.

"What was that music you played?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

"You telling me you don't recognize yourself, Princess?" he teased. I never thought I'd enjoy hearing that nickname, but damn if it didn't put a smile on my face then.

"You're playing my CD?"

"Yup. Easiest way to get Bella to calm down. From what I hear, it works on Angie, too..." He laughed, and I joined in, feeling a faint heat on my cheeks. I liked the idea of Jasper spending the night in, listening to me sing, but I liked even more that he sounded like himself.

We ended up spending almost two hours on the phone, just talking about the past few days. He kept asking questions - about my family, the house, the area, what I had done. He sounded almost wistful, which in turn made me miss him all the more.

"Hey, you and Lee are still going tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, was planning on it. Why?"

I sighed softly, my fingers idly playing with the covers as we talked. "No reason, really. Just wish I were there to go with you. I miss you, Jazz."

He cleared his throat, his voice sounding a little off in spite of it. "I miss you, too, Princess." I thought I heard him mutter, "Maybe a little too much," but I couldn't be sure since there was some background noise suddenly.

I frowned, wondering if I'd heard him correctly, but couldn't bring myself to ask him. What else is new there, Masen? I sighed, rolling my eyes at myself. I would talk to him when I got home; I was determined to get this all figured out once and for all. I needed to know, and, more importantly, I needed him to know.

We were both silent for a moment before he finally cleared his throat again and said that he should probably go, since Ben and Angie were due back soon. I asked him to tell them I said hello, and he said he would. I just barely stopped myself from asking him to give Emily my love - and telling him I loved him in the process. Instead, I told him to tell her I'd be back for next week's class. He joked that he would have her handle my pieces, which had me narrowing my eyes though he couldn't see me. I growled softly, "The only one I want to have handle my 'pieces' is you, Mr. Whitlock."

He chuckled, "Caught that, huh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah... Good night, Jasper. You two have fun tomorrow, okay?"

"Night, sweetheart."

After making sure my alarm was set for the morning, I changed into my pajama pants and went to bed. I lay awake for a while, wishing once again that Jasper was here with me. That funny feeling I had had when I left Boston was still nagging at me, more so now than it had all week. I whispered softly, "Please let it not be too late..."

It wasn't long after that I fell into an uneasy sleep.

I groaned when my alarm woke me up - I hadn't slept well all night, and part of me wanted nothing more than to curl up and go back to sleep again. Knowing that Rose was waiting for me, though, I got up and was showered, dressed, and having breakfast not half an hour later.

Uncle Everett let me borrow his car so I could get to Emmett and Rosalie's house. When I pulled up and got out, I could hear noise coming from the garage. I smiled, realizing that she had already started. I wondered if Em would be there, but when I walked into the garage, he wasn't there. It was actually more of a shop, since she had nearly everything a mechanic would have. Rosalie, wearing her working jeans and a ratty t-shirt, was bent over with her head under the hood, tinkering away. "Morning, Rose."

She didn't bother to look up, finishing what she was doing as she said, "Morning, you. About time you got here."

I leaned against the door of the garage, crossing my arms over my chest and my legs at the ankles as I watched her with amusement. She finally straightened up and turned to look at me with a grin, her eyes gleaming as she waved her hand toward her latest pet project. "What do you think?"

My eyes drifted over the sleek contours of the Chevy Corvette - the paint was faded, and there were a couple of spots where I could see some rust as well as a few dings on the side. I pushed myself off the door and slowly walked around the car, letting out a low, long whistle as my fingers brushed over the frame with reverence. When I got to the front of the car, I peered under the hood, surprised to see that the engine looked to be in good shape. I looked up at Rose in amazement. "What is this, a sixty-seven?"

She shook her head, grinning widely. "Close - it's a sixty-eight, actually."

"Where did you get this?"

She shrugged, wiping her hands on the rag that was dangling out of her pocket. "Some old biddy had an ad in the paper, wanting to sell it. It was her husband's - they hadn't used it in years, but he never wanted to part with it. He passed away and she had to move, so she put it up for sale. I just was lucky enough to see the ad - got a good deal on it, too."

I grinned. "You would."

She chuckled, her eyes alight with mischief as she winked. "Of course. Shopping, cars, and working with kids. Three things I know how to do well. You should know that by now."

I laughed, shaking my head. "So, where do we start?"

Rose and I set to work, and the next few hours flew by as we cleaned the engine. As it turned out, the man had taken extremely good care of his car, but it had been sitting unused for a while. Other than body work, all it really needed as a good tune-up, so we set to work tearing apart the necessary parts of the engine before we replaced the distributor cap and changed the points and condenser. While we were working, we talked comfortably - mostly about the car, though she mentioned that Emmett was working and wouldn't be home until dinner time, so we had the afternoon to finish as much as we could. It was fun to work on the car with Rose, just like old times. She kept asking about mine, though I had already assured her I was taking good care of it. It was the first car we had fixed up together, so it was special to us both.

During lunch - Rose had fixed us a couple of sandwiches - she watched me carefully for a moment, before finally saying, "You ever give any thought to my offer?"

My brow furrowed slightly as I chewed the last bite, washing it down with some milk before answering her. "Yeah...I have." I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed as my eyes met hers. "I appreciate it, Rose; I really do. It means a lot to me, but...I can't think about it yet. As much as I want to have kids, I want a family more. I want to have someone to share all those milestones with. Going it alone...it's not for me."

She got up and hugged me from behind, kissing my cheek as she said, "Just keep it in mind, okay? My offer stands - I want to do this for you."

I put my hand on her wrists where they crossed, smiling softly. "Thanks, Rose."

The rest of the day we spent working on the car and listening to music, only talking once in a while - both of us content to just be. Her reminder of her offer had my mind going, though, and I couldn't stop the images of mini-versions of Jasper and me running around my house. I prayed with all my heart that we would be able to get to that place, and that he wanted kids as much as I did. From having watched him with Bella, I was fairly certain he did, but it wasn't something that either of us had ever really discussed.

That night after dinner, the four of us kids ended up going to a bar I didn't know. Emmett said it was fairly new, but it had quickly become one of their favorite places to be, and I could see why. The atmosphere was laid back and very much in keeping with the area's history - everywhere you looked, there was memorabilia hanging, and it was almost like stepping back in time. The music also reflected this, ranging from jazz and blues to rockabilly and modern.

We were on our second round of drinks - Tanya having ordered water, since she was quick to offer herself up as designated driver - when I excused myself for a moment. I wanted to try to call Jasper, and I also needed to call Kate to see if she could pick me up on Monday.

I stepped outside so that I could hear better. I sat down on the bench that was in front of the bar and called Jasper first. When his voicemail kicked in, I frowned, checking the time to make sure I hadn't inadvertently let it get too late again, but when I saw that it wasn't even ten-thirty yet in Boston, I wondered what was up. I left a message, asking him to call me once he got it, and then I hung up with a sinking feeling in my gut. I shook it off, dialing Kate's number and taking a few calming breaths as I ran my fingers through my hair.

I'm sure it's nothing. He's probably hanging out with his friends or something and didn't hear his phone...

"Hey, Edward! Long time, no hear. How's Memphis?"

Kate's voice startled me out of my thoughts, and I smiled in spite of myself. "Hey, Katie-bug. Memphis is good; hanging out with Tanya, Em, and Rose at the moment, so can't talk for too long. Was calling to see if you could pick me up from the airport on Monday? If not, it's okay; I can just take a cab or something."

She huffed, and I could almost hear her rolling her eyes at me. The thought made me chuckle even as she said, "What time are you flying in?"

I rattled off my flight info to her, and she said she would be there to pick me up, and that I was lucky because she had to drop Garrett off for a flight not long before I was to land. I asked her how things were going between them, and I grinned when she giggled and said everything was great. I teased her about having those pictures of him in her bed, asking her if she had told him yet. She told me to shut up - I knew she would be blushing, and I laughed, telling her I loved her and thanking her for being there on Monday. She told me to say hi to the gang, and I hung up, still smiling.

I decided to try Jasper once more before going back inside, but when it kicked to voicemail again, I sighed, ending the call without leaving another message. When I got back inside, Tanya put her hand on my shoulder and leaned in as soon as I was seated, asking if everything was okay. I told her yes, though I hadn't been able to get a hold of Jasper and I just missed him. She nodded, squeezing my shoulder lightly before turning back to the conversation she had been having with Rose. We hung out at the bar for another couple of hours, and I had more to drink than I had intended to.

By the time we got home and I was in bed, Jasper still hadn't called back, and I was beginning to worry again. I tried calling him one more time, but again got his voicemail. I hung up before I could leave an embarrassing message - I knew I was too drunk to trust myself fully, so it was probably a good thing that I didn't have the chance to talk to him. I fell asleep, clutching my phone in my hand.

Sometime during the night, I must have let go of it, because I woke up the following morning without it. It took me a few minutes to find it, and when I did, there was a text message from Jasper.

Sorry I missed your call. Miss you.

The time stamp on it was almost three in the morning. I glanced up to see that it was just before seven now - too early, really, for me to want to get out of bed, and likely too early to call Jasper if he'd been out that late. I frowned, wondering why he'd been out...who he'd been out with. I couldn't let my mind go in that direction, though - not when I had a good thirty-six hours, at least, before I'd see him again. I bit my bottom lip in indecision, and then finally sent back a quick message of my own.

I miss you, too. More than you know. Can I see you tomorrow?

I didn't like having to ask, but something told me I should. I stared at my phone for a few minutes with the futile hope that Jasper would return my text - or possibly call. When I was sure he wouldn't, I rolled onto my side and fell once more into a restless sleep.

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Chapter 15 ~ Chapter 17

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