Marked Chapter 24 - For The Longest Time

EPOV

"Come on...answer already..."

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair in both worry and frustration, my knee bouncing nervously as I sat on the edge of the bed. I'd been trying to reach Jasper since Wednesday night and kept getting his voice mail.

"Hi, you've reached Jasper Whitlock. You know the drill."

Damnit!

I huffed, hitting the end-call button. There was no point in leaving another message, as he hadn't gotten back to me after the last three I'd left. Clenching my jaw, I tried to stamp down the feeling that something was wrong, that this was a repeat of Tennessee. I couldn't - wouldn't - believe he'd do that to me again. Not after everything that had happened.

But still...

My eyes fell on the garment bags with our costumes hanging on my closet door. I ran my hand over my face roughly and sighed.

Jasper, what's going on? Why aren't you calling me?

After our talk, the week apart, and then Emily - not to mention our date earlier this week when we went to pick out our costumes - I'd thought things were going okay, that we were getting back to being us...maybe even better. Now, though, that nagging feeling of doubt wouldn't leave me alone. Had I gone too far? Had I made a mistake in telling him I loved him after all?

With a growl, I reached for my wallet and took out the card Mike had left me after our talk. I hated to call Jasper at work. It didn't feel right to disturb him there, but I didn't see how I was going to get a chance to talk to him otherwise. Before I could talk myself out of it, I dialed the number.

"Self-Similar Software, this is Felix. How may I direct your call?"

I cleared my throat and said, "Hey, Felix. It's Edward. Could you put me through to Jasper, please?"

There was a slight pause, and I thought I heard Felix sigh. "Hey, Edward. I'm sorry, but Jasper's asked not to be disturbed. Can I take a message?"

"Oh... No, that-"

I heard someone talking in the background and stilled my tongue, hoping it might be Jasper. When I heard Mike's voice, I let out the breath of air I'd been holding in.

"Hey, E, anything I can do for you?"

A wan smile touched my lips briefly as I detected the note of concern in Mike's voice. "Hey, Mike. I was trying to get a hold of Jasper. He hasn't been answering his phone..."

This time, I definitely heard the sigh as well as a soft rustling, and I could almost picture Mike turning away from prying ears as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Umm, yeah...I don't know what to tell ya, man. He's been avoiding everyone here, too, and the few times I've seen him he's looked like shit. Did something happen that you know of?"

I frowned, wondering what could have happened to make Jasper isolate himself from his friends. Based on what I'd seen of him, that didn't sound like something he'd do.

"No...he was fine last time I spoke to him..."

It didn't sit quite right to say nothing had happened, but I was almost positive that whatever was going on with Jasper wasn't in reaction to last weekend. And I was quite sure Jasper wouldn't appreciate me telling Mike or anyone else about Emily. That was his business - well, hers, but still.

Mike hummed, and I knew he was worried, too. He cleared his throat and said, "Sorry, E, I really don't know. If I catch him, I'll let him know you called. Just...hang in there, okay? I don't think this is...well...you know."

I nodded, then shook my head, rolling my eyes at myself because Mike obviously couldn't see me. "Thanks, Mike." I sighed. "I'd better let you get back to work. Tell Jess I said hi."

Mike assured me he would, but before I could hang up, he said, "Oh, hey...we're still on for Tuesday, right?"

"Yeah, Emily said she's got everything ready to go for his birthday party. I'll... double check with Jasper..." I bit the inside of my check to keep from sighing. I sure as hell hoped I'd be seeing Jasper sometime soon, but I wasn't quite sure anymore.

Mike answered with a simple, "Cool," and after exchanging goodbyes, we hung up. I stared blankly at our costumes, wondering what was going on. I tried to go over the past few days to figure out if this had anything to do with me or what had happened to Emily, but I couldn't see anything I hadn't thought of - and dismissed - before.

Tossing my phone on the bed, I let myself drop backward and scrubbed my face. I wanted to believe Mike, to believe Jasper hadn't ended up in another guy's arms again, but I couldn't understand what other reason he might have for suddenly cutting me - and apparently everyone else - off.

I was half-tempted to call Emily to see if she'd heard from Jasper. I knew that he'd talked to her every day since the weekend, and I couldn't imagine him stopping that any time soon. Surely she'd have spoken with him. The question was: would I want to hear whatever answer she might have? Not to mention, if she hadn't heard from him, then what would that imply?

Deciding it was better to simply leave things alone for the time being, I sighed. I'd just have to wait for tomorrow and see if he showed up for class or not. If I didn't hear from him soon, I was going to drive over to his apartment and knock on the damn door until he answered. I was determined to trust him, but he was sure as fuck making it hard.

Trying to think of something - anything - else, I lifted myself onto my elbows and eyed the costumes we'd gotten warily.

Do I still want to go to Alice's party tonight?

I thought about that for a moment, grimacing when my first thought was, "Hell no." If I couldn't see Jasper, I really just wanted to stay in, maybe call Kate... see if she could help me figure out what the hell was going on.

But you told Alice you'd be there...

I growled at the annoying voice that always picked the worst times to play my conscience. Compared to what I was going through with Jasper, what did it matter if I'd made a promise to Alice?

The silence in my head was laced with guilt. I pushed myself off the bed and stalked to my closet, muttering curses under my breath. Yes, I was going to go. I'd told her I'd be there, and the party would serve as a distraction, if nothing else. Of course, I'd also promised her I'd bring my "mystery man," but there wasn't anything I could do about that if he wouldn't answer his goddamn phone.

After opening the garment bag that held Jasper's costume, my fingers trailed the fabric. There hadn't been much choice left, of course, but the idea of going in complementing costumes had been very appealing. The thought of wearing mine without him at my side didn't sit well. I zipped up the bag again and stepped into my closet with a huff.

Great. So that means I have about three hours to figure out what the hell I'm going to wear, and then get ready.

To go alone.

I groaned and forced myself to focus on the problem at hand. After about half an hour of searching through my closet, I still came up empty. I went downstairs to grab something to drink and paused as I walked by the coat rack, my eyes falling on my leather jacket. For some reason, my thoughts went back to last weekend - to watching Grease with Kate and Emily, and then hearing the stories from Jasper about how Emily used to prance around pretending she was a Greaser.

The memory made me smile while at the same time causing the hollow ache in my chest to pulse. Grabbing my jacket, I held it for a moment, thinking. I wished that Jasper would come with me tonight, but since I apparently couldn't have that, I wanted to have him with me, in a sense. I needed it - needed him.

And I hated to think of what it meant that he apparently didn't need me the same way.

I swallowed hard, pushing the doubts and insecurities and hurt away, choosing instead to go with my impulse.

Two hours later, I was ready. I barely looked at my reflection as I rolled up my shirt sleeves the way the Greasers did. I'd managed to tame my hair with copious amounts of hair product, and I actually looked the part. Shrugging into my leather jacket, I finally glanced in the mirror to make sure everything was okay. I could see confusion in my eyes and stared at myself until I managed to chase most of it away. Once I was satisfied, I headed out the door.

I'd intended to take Jasper out to dinner before the party, so I hadn't gone shopping for food. Since that plan had obviously fallen through, I decided to go out on my own. Being the sucker for punishment I apparently was, I ended up going to the same little Greek place I'd invited Jasper to after the shoot - the day that everything had changed for us.

The waitress eyed me appreciatively and grinned as she addressed me as Mr. Zuko with a wink. I managed a chuckle as I ordered the usual pork souvlaki and then spent my time people-watching. Being here again had me aching for when things had seemed so much simpler between Jasper and me.

Though I knew the food was as excellent as always, somehow it didn't taste as good as I remembered it. I was sure that had more to do with the fact that Jasper wasn't with me than anything else. The waitress stopped by my table a few times, and we talked about Grease for a while. I left her a generous tip beside my half-eaten food. It certainly wasn't her fault that I wasn't feeling in the mood to party or that I hadn't enjoyed my meal.

By the time I made it to Alice's street, it was already packed. It took me almost ten minutes to find a spot, and when I got out, I saw a car that looked like Jasper's parked a little further down. I shook it off, knowing that couldn't be the case. Besides, his car was pretty generic, so I put it out of my mind as I walked the short distance.

When I got inside, the party was already in full swing. I spotted Alice and Becca easily and waved at them. They were deep in conversation, so I decided I'd stop by and say hello later. I wasn't planning to stay very long, but I knew I had to at least make an attempt to socialize.

Heading over to the bar, I glanced around to see if I recognized anyone. I didn't really know many of the people Alice hung out with, though. Grabbing a bottle of water, I unscrewed the cap and took a swig. I would have loved something stronger, but I had a feeling if I started, I wouldn't stop. I didn't want a repeat of Labor Day; besides, I was driving.

As my gaze swung around the room, I caught sight of various costumes. A few made me shake my head in disbelief, like the Red and Green M&Ms dancing in the corner. I idly wondered if they'd waited even longer than we had to start their search for costumes or if they actually wanted to dress up as candy.

Taking another drink of my water, I turned to walk around, only to stop in my tracks when my eyes fell on a small group of guys a couple of feet away from me. I didn't recognize two of them, but the third - who was standing with his back to me - struck me as all too familiar.

Can't be...

I looked closer, taking in the leather chaps, leather vest, the cowboy boots, and the hat that mostly hid what were blond curls. As I got closer, I heard his voice, confirming my suspicion.

How the hell did he know where Alice's party was? And why didn't he tell me he'd be here?

My mind was racing, trying to put together too many pieces that didn't match up no matter how they were turned. I felt a strange sense of relief that maybe everything was okay after all - maybe he'd just been busy. But I couldn't make myself believe it, not completely.

He still hadn't noticed me - nor had the other guys, but I didn't care about them. Placing my hand on his upper arm, I said, "Jasper?"

My voice held the uncertainty I felt, the confusion. I simply couldn't hide my hurt tinged with anger, though it made way for concern as Jasper stiffened under my grasp and turned around slowly, his mouth hanging open in surprise.

Mike hadn't been kidding when he said Jasper looked like shit. My eyes roamed his face, taking in the dark rings under his eyes, and the paleness of his skin. I swallowed a couple of times when I realized that Jasper looked utterly shocked to see me. I couldn't figure out what that meant, so I stood mute as I debated what question to ask first and then said, "How did you-?"

I was cut off by Alice's gleeful, "Oh, you met! Great!"

She appeared next to me, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet and grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary as her eyes flitted between Jasper and me. "Edward, this is the guy I've been telling you about. Remember, back at Billy's?"

Before I could answer, she narrowed her eyes and pointed at Jasper. "You know him," she accused.

Jasper nodded, dumbstruck. Alice turned to me with an arched brow. "Jasper? Jasper's the guy you've been seeing?"

"How did you-?"

I glanced from Alice to Jasper, frustrated with my inability to articulate any of the countless questions I had. I wondered if this made any more sense to Jasper than it did to me. By the look on his face, though, he was as lost as I was.

Alice crossed her arms over her chest, the stern look on her face morphing into one of satisfaction as she said, "Ha! I knew you two'd like each other. And that you'd be good together."

Jasper muttered a faint, "Yeah, okay, Alice..."

He looked a little green around the gills, beads of sweat forming on his forehead, and I wondered if he was feeling okay - or, worse, if seeing me was what was making him so sick. Just then, Mike and Jess showed up, both carrying platters of food. Mike grinned and stepped in front of us, taking the place of the two other guys who had walked off without my noticing or caring.

"Edward, good to see ya, man! What are you doing here?"

"Umm, hi Mike...Jess," I nodded to her and smiled faintly before turning to look at Mike again. I could see his tension in the tightness of his eyes, and I wondered if I had somehow wandered into a place where I was completely unwelcome.

What the hell are they doing here anyway?

As soon as the question crossed my mind, it slid into place with everything Alice had said, and I had it. Jasper hadn't somehow found the party that I'd invited him to; he'd abandoned me to hang out with his friends without even telling me.

Anger clenched my jaw, but before I could react, Jasper made a strangled noise, then bolted. We all stared after him in confusion, though mine was colored with raw pain. Mike was the first to recover. He reached out, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Is everything alright, man?"

I shook my head absently, staring at the place where Jasper had disappeared. I had a feeling that Mike didn't know what Jasper had done, since he'd just arrived at the party, and I didn't feel like explaining. I was half-tempted to just... leave. Just fucking be done with it.

But I couldn't.

I was worried about Jasper, physically and mentally, and I wondered if this illness, whatever it was, was the reason he'd been avoiding me. I didn't want to make excuses for him, but I couldn't help the concern I felt - and I wanted answers from him.

But first, I wanted to find out if he was alright. I excused myself without explaining, ignoring the questioning stares as I followed after Jasper.

It took me a few minutes, but I finally found him in one of the upstairs bathrooms, crouched over a toilet as he emptied his stomach. He looked utterly miserable, and the sight of him like that pushed aside any concerns for myself I had; the need to take care of him was too great for me to ignore. The smell and sound of his throwing up were harder to block out, but I tried.

I knelt down next to him, placed the back of my hand against his forehead, and gasped at the feel of his burning skin under mine. I felt guilty at the relief that passed through me when I realized he really was sick - that there was some physical basis for whatever was going on with him. Those feelings gave way to the impulse to take care of him, and I waited quietly, rubbing his back to let him know I was still there.

When he was finally done retching - at least for the moment - he sat back, his head hanging down as he leaned against the tub. I put my finger under his chin and tilted his face toward me. I frowned, running my fingers through his hair; his cowboy hat lay on the floor beside him.

"Baby, you have a fever...you're sick. We need to get you home..."

The look in his eyes was pained, uncertain, and miserable. He nodded, then quickly turned to the toilet again. I got up, rummaging around the cupboards until I found a washcloth, which I dampened under the cold water tap. Wringing it out, I placed it briefly on his forehead before wiping his neck to cool him down a little.

He croaked a soft, "Thanks," and shivered. I sighed, wiping his mouth without comment.

I cleaned up the mess he'd made, which thankfully wasn't too bad, while he watched me with a vacant stare. When I was done, I gently grabbed him by the elbows and helped him up, guiding him downstairs until we were by the front door. There was a bench there, and I told him to sit down and wait for me, which he did without protest.

It didn't take long to find Mike and explain to him what was going on. He almost looked relieved when I told him Jasper was sick, and I understood the sentiment, even though I knew neither of us was happy about it. As Mike went off to get Jessica, Alice walked up to me to ask if everything was okay. I hugged her tight, apologizing.

"Sorry for bailing, Alice. I need to get Jasper home; he's really sick."

She nodded, hugging me back. "Alright. You go take care of our boy. We'll talk later. I want to know how the hell you two met."

I nodded, forcing a smile as I reminded her that she and Becca were coming over to do photos soon, and we could talk then. That seemed to satisfy her. Mike and Jess walked up to us then, ready to leave. As we headed to the door, Alice called out, "Hey, Zuko! You look hot tonight."

She laughed at my blush, and I rolled my eyes at her. As I helped Jasper to his feet again, I had to support his weight a little. He seemed to have no energy left, and I didn't think he'd be able to walk very far under his own power. When we finally got to my car, I had to help him into the seat, and he sagged back into it as soon as his legs were inside. We hadn't said a word to each other the entire time, so it was kind of weird to hear my voice as I murmured, "Let me have your keys, Jasper. Where'd you park?"

He looked around in confusion, then huffed as he pointed a few cars down - to the very car I'd spotted earlier. I shook my head in amazement, then passed along the keys to Mike, who was going to follow us home in Jasper's car. Jessica was taking their car so that Mike wouldn't have to call a cab - I had no intention of leaving Jasper alone in this state.

I had to stop once on the way to his place so he could throw up again. He barely managed to open the door and lean out first, which made me both grateful and worried.

Jesus...how sick is he?

I glanced at him often as I drove, noticing the way his skin looked waxy and pale. He sat back with his eyes closed and his lips parted, breathing through his mouth.

After we all parked, Mike helped me carry Jasper upstairs and put him on his bed. Jasper seemed too out of it to know or care what was happening. I closed the door behind me and followed Mike out into the living room, where Jess was waiting.

"Thanks, guys. I'm not sure I could've gotten him home on my own."

Mike nodded. "Not a problem. You gonna be okay?"

Jessica stepped up to Mike, and he put his arm around her waist as they both watched me.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm going to stay here tonight, make sure he's alright." I ignored the doubts that surfaced about whether Jasper would appreciate my being here - or tell me to get out as soon as he was well enough.

Jess said, "Call us if you need anything, okay? And let us know about Tuesday?"

I nodded. "I will." I doubted he'd be feeling better for his birthday, which saddened me a little, but I'd hope for the best, and take things as they came. At this point, I wasn't sure what was going to happen with anything regarding Jasper.

Mike nodded in agreement with Jess and asked for my phone. I handed it to him, and he quickly entered their numbers and gave it back to me after calling his own phone. "Call us anytime, E."

I smiled. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. Why don't you two get back to the party? No sense in missing out on all the fun."

Mike grinned, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, because being Alice's slave for the night is so much fun," he muttered, earning him a smack on the chest from Jessica.

I gave a half-smile, shaking my head. "Better not let Alice hear you talk like that."

"Yeah, yeah. Alright. Take care of our boy, Ed, and I'll talk to you soon."

They each gave me a quick hug, and then I was left alone. It felt kind of strange being in Jasper's home, when I wasn't sure he was really aware of my being there - or if he wanted me there in the first place.

Trying to concentrate on the moment rather than all the what-ifs and questions I couldn't answer just then, I went to the kitchen to find something for Jasper to throw up in. I didn't particularly relish the idea of having to clean the floor or anything. His kitchen was fairly organized, and I found a mop and bucket without too much trouble.

Grabbing the bucket, I stepped over to the sink to add a little water to it for easier clean up later, then quietly went to his bedroom and placed it next to his bed. I watched him for a moment and sighed. His sleep seemed fitful, and I couldn't imagine he was comfortable, burning up with fever and still dressed like a cowboy.

I grinned in spite of myself - he looked pretty fucking hot, if you looked past the signs of his being sick. Shaking my head at myself, I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. I let out a quiet noise of disgust as I was met with sticky product - I'd forgotten I had put all that shit in my hair earlier. With that rude return to reality, I went to the bathroom, where I washed my hands and opened his medicine cabinet to find some Tylenol.

I took a couple from the bottle and filled a Dixie cup with water before going back into the bedroom. I was loathe to wake Jasper up, especially since he'd turned onto his back and appeared to be sleeping soundly, but his fever had to come down. I shook him, calling his name softly, and he groaned, wrinkling his forehead. After much coercion, I managed to get him to sit up partially to take the medicine.

As soon as he'd swallowed it, he flopped back onto the bed with a huff, out again when his head hit the pillow. I watched him for a moment, truly worried and wondering if he needed any sort of immediate care or if he could wait until regular office hours for a doctor. After taking in his even breathing, I decided to just keep an eye on him, so I set about making him as comfortable as I could.

I pulled his boots off without too much trouble, followed quickly by his socks. His chaps took me awhile to figure out, but eventually I managed to at least undo them at the front as well as the jeans he wore underneath. He moaned, shifting in his sleep. The sound stirred something in me, bringing the cold irony of this situation to the forefront of my mind. So many times I had undressed him with sure fingers and needy hands, but my hesitance now had very little to do with his being sick.

With some effort, I got the chaps untied on both his legs, but when I tried to move him so I could pull them out from under him, he woke up. He looked at me with confusion, his eyes glassy as he mumbled, "What-?"

"Shh, just trying to get you more comfortable, baby. Gonna need a little help, though. I'm sorry I woke you again."

I stroked his thigh soothingly, my eyes on his as he nodded. The apathy in his eyes worried me and made me ache. He shifted his hips, reaching to pull down his pants. Once those were off and both the jeans and chaps discarded, he fell back onto the bed, his eyes closing again. Resting one knee on the bed next to him, I unbuttoned his shirt - a job made more difficult because he kept batting my hands away, annoyed.

"Jazz, please, just a little longer, sweetheart, then you can sleep. Promise."

The terms of endearment kept spilling over my lips, and I tried not to think about whether or not I should be using them anymore. He huffed but sat up - his eyes closed - and jerkily removed the leather vest and button down, almost throwing them across the room. Before he could lie back down, I stopped him, pulling the covers back and prodding him to get under them. Once he was situated, I kissed his burning forehead, whispering, "Sleep now, Jazz."

He mumbled, "'Kay," and was out almost immediately.

I sat down on the bed, watching the rise and fall of his chest for a long time. His features had somewhat smoothed out in his sleep. With a sigh, I got up and walked quietly out of his room. Unsure what to do with myself the rest of the evening, I went to his fridge, hoping to find something to drink - I really could have used something other than water at that point.

After finding a couple of beers, I took one and headed to the living room. I took a seat on the couch and picked up the remote from the cubby under the coffee table. Taking a long pull from my beer, I turned on the TV and flipped between channels without paying any real attention to what was on. I felt at a loss as to what to do now. There was no way I'd leave him alone, with how sick he was, but I couldn't say I was entirely comfortable with staying, either - and I hated that.

I was pissed at him and how he had dismissed me again. I was upset with myself for not making more of an effort to check on him when I couldn't reach him on the phone. I was even pissed off at Mike for letting him get this bad, though I wasn't sure what I thought Mike should've done.

I was angry that I was so hurt. Again. And even more, that I wanted to stay around to get answers from Jasper and try to work this out.

As I stared mindlessly at the screen, my thoughts kept going over the past few weeks, wondering if there was anything I could have done differently. I knew there was, but I just couldn't pinpoint what could've made this better. I wondered what I could do now to get him to talk to me. Of course, talking would have to wait until the man was coherent.

I sighed, my fingers automatically going for my hair again, only to pull away from the sticky mess. I groaned, finished the rest of my beer, and headed to the guest room, hoping he kept the bathroom there stocked. A shower was in order so I could wash out all the shit I'd had to use.

Unfortunately, all I could find were towels, so I snuck into his bathroom to borrow his shampoo and soap. I checked to see if he was okay and was relieved to find that he seemed slightly cooler, so I went back to the guestroom. After a quick, efficient shower, I pulled on my jeans again, wishing I had a change of clothes. I didn't feel right going through Jasper's things and assuming he'd be okay with my borrowing a pair of lounge pants from him, so jeans it was.

I ached inside, not knowing where we stood now. His cold shoulder the last few days had more of an affect on me than I was willing to admit. The fact that I now smelled of him didn't help matters, either. With a sigh, I went to put the soap and shampoo back in his bathroom, then stood and watched over him for a minute.

Scrubbing my face with my hands, I groaned softly.

Okay, stop that, Masen. You aren't going to get anywhere wallowing. You and Jasper are going to have to talk; just be patient.

With that, I went back to the living room, resuming my seat on the couch. I flicked through the channels again until I landed on one that was playing The Mummy. A few minutes into the movie, I got myself another beer and settled in for the evening, staring mindlessly at the TV. After The Mummy, they played The Mummy Returns, and once that was over, I decided to try to get some sleep.

Before heading to bed, I checked in on Jasper, gingerly touching his forehead, and sighed when his skin was still flushed and burning. I hoped that in the morning, I'd be able to at least find out how long he'd been feeling sick and if he'd called the doctor yet. For the time being, all I could do was wait. I longed to curl up in bed with him, to hold him in my arms, but decided against it.

It felt odd to sleep in his apartment but not in his bed. My thoughts were focused on the man down the hall, but after a while sleep finally claimed me.

The next morning, I woke up much earlier than I was used to. It took me a minute to remember where I was and to realize what had woken me up. And then I heard it: Jasper was throwing up again. With a groan, I got up, scrubbing my face as I went in an effort to wake up fully. I peered into his room before stepping inside.

He was hovering over the side of his bed, taking deep breaths as he tried to compose himself. He started when he heard me walk in and blinked warily at me; his eyes were still glassy and slightly unfocused.

"Edward?" he croaked.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, running my fingers through his hair as I sighed. "Yeah, it's me, baby."

He looked confused at first, as if he were trying to remember something. The look on his face changed, and I shrank back a little at the anger I saw there, instantly worried that he was upset that I was here.

His voice was cracked but hard as he said, "What the hell are you doing here? Where did you sleep?"

"I-" I blinked, took a deep breath, and then told him I hadn't felt right leaving him alone, sick as he was.

"I slept in the guestroom. I'm sorry; I guess I shouldn't have assumed..."

I shifted to move away from him, but his hand grabbed my wrist, stopping me. When I looked at him, his eyes were blazing.

"If you're going to stay here, it'd damn well better be in my bed, Masen."

My eyes searched his for a moment as I sat, stunned. I didn't know what to make of things anymore. There was something haunting behind the anger in his eyes, and I had no clue what it could be.

One look at his pitiful expression was enough to stop the bitter words threatening to spill over my lips, but they still sounded in my head.

I wasn't sure I was welcome in your apartment, much less your bed.

He closed his eyes then, almost as if he'd heard them anyway, and moaned, slumping back into his pillows. After a minute or so, he swallowed and said in a hoarse voice, "Thanks, Princess. You don't have to stay, though; I don't want you getting sick, too."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. He opened his and looked at me. "I'm serious, Edward. Go home, there's no sense in both of us being miserable."

I moved a little closer and said, "I'll risk it. I've had my flu shot, Jasper, so I should be just fine. Besides, it'd be too late now, anyway."

He sighed, nodding as he closed his eyes again. He looked beyond exhausted, so I just watched him until he apparently drifted off to sleep. I got up, deciding to just let him rest for now, and went to get him a bottle of water for when he woke up again, knowing he'd need to get rehydrated. Putting the bottle on his nightstand, I paused, my eyes on him as I wondered what was going through his mind. He seemed agitated, even in his sleep, mumbling something under his breath.

My stomach growled, letting me know I hadn't eaten in awhile, so I went in search of some food. I made an omelet and had just put a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster when Jasper came shuffling into the kitchen.

"Jazz, what are you doing up? Go back to bed, baby."

He shook his head, frowning as he swallowed hard and eyed my omelet warily. His voice was rough, tired. "Need something to eat...feel like shit."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Jasper, when's the last time you ate anything?"

He took a seat at the bar and slouched. "Umm, yesterday, I guess. I ate some toast. Haven't really been able to eat since Wednesday."

He looked away from me then with a pained expression, and I wondered what that was about. I wanted nothing more than to ask him, to demand the answers I knew I deserved, but he looked so damn miserable. I walked over to him, standing between his legs as I ran my fingers through his hair, which was damp with sweat and clung to his forehead.

"Is that why you haven't called me back? Because you were sick?" I murmured.

He shook his head, still refusing to meet my gaze.

"Jazz...did I do something? Say something I shouldn't have?"

He shook his head again. I sighed, placing my hands on his thighs, and whispered, "Then why..?"

Jasper raised his eyes to the ceiling, muttering something under his breath, and then leveled his gaze with mine as he sighed. "I'm sorry."

Immediately, I tasted bitterness in my throat. Every fear I'd had while he'd been avoiding me rushed to the forefront of my mind, threatening to spill over. If Jasper noticed my expression, he didn't let on. The bread popped up out of the toaster, and he tilted his head that way as he said, "Any chance I can try one of those? See if I can keep it down?"

When I frowned, he added, "I'll tell you, sweetheart, but I know you're hungry, too. Eat first, then talk?"

My frown deepened, but I nodded, the sick feeling growing in my stomach. I knew it had nothing to do with getting ill, but everything to do with foreboding as Jasper's evasions reminded me all too clearly of the situation with Jason. As calmly as I could manage, I popped in another couple of pieces of bread. Just to keep myself busy, I buttered the toast that was ready and took my plate to the bar, setting it down next to Jasper. The seconds until his toast was done were torture, but soon enough, we were both ready for breakfast.

Jasper ate carefully, taking slow, deliberate breaths between each bite, but gave up after half a slice of toast, pushing the plate away from him. He put his elbows on the edge of the counter, resting his forehead against his palms as he moaned quietly.

The food tasted like ashes, but I forced myself to eat. I didn't want to give Jasper another reason to stall, so I ate as quickly as I could and then put the dishes in the sink. I grabbed a couple of bottles of water before going to help Jasper back to bed. He protested, saying he'd promised we'd talk. I felt some of the weight on my shoulders lift at the realization that maybe this was different than the last time, and I became cautiously hopeful.

"Don't argue. To bed with you, Mr. Whitlock. We can talk there."

He huffed but did as he was told. Once he was under the covers, he pulled himself up into a seated position, watching me warily as I sat down next to him - on top of the covers. I was at a loss as to what was going on, so I left my hands in my lap, waiting for him with an expectant silence.

He lowered his head, sighing as he said again, "I'm sorry, Edward."

He glanced up then, so I quirked a brow in question, not trusting my voice. I was trying my damnedest to give him the benefit of the doubt, but there were so many echoes of the last time he'd avoided me. I didn't know what I would do if this were another Jason. It had been bad enough that time, but this time... after my admitting that I wouldn't be with anyone else, it would be a stab to the gut.

And I didn't know if we would survive it.

There was only so much I could take before I would lose myself - and I couldn't do that. I was so busy trying to fight the images my mind was conjuring of Jasper in another man's arms that it took me a moment to realize he'd spoken again. His voice was so low, I had to strain to hear it.

"I ran into Paul on Wednesday..."

Concern for myself vanished as I inhaled audibly. I reached out, taking his hand. He gave a watery smile, squeezing my hand as he muttered, "Thanks."

"What happened?" My voice sounded distant to my ears, but I was reeling from what this might mean for Jasper. I knew, of course, that it had been years since he'd been with Paul, but he still had a lot of emotional issues he hadn't dealt with. For me, the pain and anger were raw, since it had been only a matter of days since I'd learned the truth.

He shook his head, and his voice was thin when he said, "Just the usual shit. It's happened a few times over the years. We're in the same business, so..." He shrugged, and the way he lifted his chin, trying to be strong, made me ache. "It always...rattles me, I guess."

He closed his eyes, just like he'd looked away when he first told me about Paul. He talked in that same low, weak voice, blushing as he admitted the visceral reactions he still had to Paul, even after everything that happened. I was torn between outright rage and hurt, both on his behalf and mine. I pulled him to me, coaxing his head to my shoulder, and he cuddled closer.

The feeling of him pressed against me was a soothing balm. His first instinct had clearly been to pull away, but now that we were here, he was seeking out comfort in my arms. I kissed the crown of his head, rubbing his upper arm as I listened.

He murmured, "The things he said... they made me sick - literally. It was like he knew, Edward. Everything I'm afraid of... every doubt I've ever... he just... twisted everything. I couldn't... didn't... I-"

He turned his head so it was nestled into the crook of my neck, taking several shaky breaths. I closed my eyes, fighting to keep my composure and focus on Jasper. He didn't need my anger; he needed my compassion, so I forced aside the desire to go out and find Paul - even if I had no idea what the man looked like - and beat the shit out of him.

After a minute, Jasper spoke softly. "I'm sorry for not calling... I just... I didn't know if I could handle talking to you - to anyone."

I sighed, pressing my lips in his hair. "I wish you had called. I've been going crazy, thinking I'd done something... pushed you too far. I think I understand." I pulled away a little so I could look at him. "But Jasper, you have to know...I'm not Paul. I could never do what he did. Tell me you know that," I pleaded.

He held my gaze for a long moment, and I added in a whisper, "I would never hurt you, baby..."
Jasper took a deep, wavering breath, and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I think I know that," he said so softly, I almost didn't hear him.

There was something in his eyes though, a worried, haunted look that nagged at me. "What is it, Jazz?"

He turned his face away, shaking his head a little. "Nothing," he mumbled.

I frowned, putting my finger under his chin so I could turn his face to mine again. "Jasper, what's wrong? Talk to me, please?"

When he still hadn't said anything after a little while, I brushed his cheek with the back of my fingers, whispering, "Please, Jazz."

He sighed, closing his eyes as if he couldn't bear to look at me as he said, "I-I don't know anymore, Edward. Mike said I wasn't the same guy I was when I was with Paul, but if that's true, then why... why does he still affect me so much? I don't know if..." He paused for a moment. "How can I trust my judgment again after..?"

My heart ached - for him, to hear the way his voice broke as he said that; for me, to fear again that I wouldn't be enough. I didn't know what to say, but I felt an intense urge to protect us. I felt a need to comfort him, to show him that his instincts were good, that he could trust them - trust me...

I pushed him away from me, and a look of hurt crossed his face until I shifted so I could look at him. Cupping his face in my hands, I smiled timidly at him. "Jasper, sweetheart...you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I might not have known you back then, but you have changed, baby. You would never have been able to tell your sister about what happened to you if you hadn't."

He gave me a skeptical look. I brushed my thumb along his lips and smiled. "I doubt you'd have been able to tell anyone...to share yourself with anyone, like you have with me, if you hadn't changed, Jasper."

He blushed, trying to turn his face away from me again, but I held onto him, forcing him to look at me. "Jazz, if your instincts were off, you wouldn't have seen the signs of what was going on with Emily. But you did."

He started to interrupt me then, but I shook my head. "No, Jazz. You did see, and you tried to do something about it. I know you tried talking to her a few times, but she wasn't ready to hear it. What happened to your sister is not your fault - or hers. But my point is that your instincts told you James was no good."

Jasper nodded slowly, his eyes still wary as he watched me. I swallowed.

"Jazz...I've asked you this once before, and now I'm asking again. What do your instincts tell you about me?"

His eyes held a look of panic in them as they darted between mine, but I kept still. I needed this answer. If he couldn't say that he instinctively knew I was a good man, then I would have to face the realization that there was no future for us.

The silence seemed to drag on as I waited for him to say something. His breathing became shallower by the minute, and the anxiety that poured from him was almost palpable. I sagged slightly, my hands slipping from his face and falling down to his sides. My heart was beating wildly in my chest as the fear of having gone too far settled in me.

There was nothing more I could do to prove to him that he could trust me. Objectively, I knew that I'd given him everything I could. I had nothing left, nothing new to show him. I couldn't keep the hurt from my face I realized that might not be enough.

Taking a deep, calming breath, I closed my eyes and began to shift away. As soon as I moved, his hands flew to my face, forcing me to look at him when my eyes popped open in surprise.

He swallowed a few times, his gaze intent on mine, burning with fever and conviction.

"I need you," he rasped.

I frowned at him. That wasn't an answer to my question, and it stung that he appeared to be skirting around it. He shook his head, more to himself, it seemed, than to me.

He sighed, whispering softly, "They say you're a good man, Edward."

My eyes searched his, unsure what to say at that moment. He gave me a tired, apologetic smile, and said, "I want to believe in that - so much..." Jasper sighed again, speaking so softly now, I wasn't sure if he meant for me to hear it. "Maybe I'm too fucked up for this..."

I shook my head. "Jasper, don't..."

He spoke over me, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I keep hurting you, Princess. I can see it, and it kills me." His voice lowered, as he added, "You don't have to stay here, Edward. I'll be fine..."

The haunted look in his eyes was worse as he said those words. I tried to understand what he was saying, but I couldn't. It was as if my mind refused to process it.

He whispered, "Why would you want to..?"

Heat flashed through me as his words sank in.

He can't be serious, can he?

The anger was immediately followed by something else: pain. Not mine, but his. I could see it in his eyes, almost feel it on his skin, even. My throat constricted as I fought off my emotions enough to be able to speak.

"Because I meant what I said last week, Jasper Whitlock. I love you. And you are worth waiting for. Now please stop trying to push me away because I'm not going anywhere. I'm right where I want to be - where I need to be."

I took his face in both hands, lowering my head so I could look him square in the eye. "I. Love. You. You are kind, loving, giving, compassionate, passionate...all that, and so much more. I want to be with you, to get to know more about you - for you to get to really know me."

I added in a whisper, "Please let me?"

He stayed silent for too many seconds, his eyes locked on mine. I wanted to make him answer me - any of the questions I'd asked - but I knew that would be counterproductive, and I could see him thinking about what I'd said. He wasn't just dismissing it - or me, for that matter.

Finally, he nodded, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn't sure what I would have done if he had refused. I let my hands fall away as I sat back, relaxing minutely.

"Edward?" he asked timidly.

 "What is it, sweetheart?"

"I..." he began, only to break off as he swallowed hard. He was looking down at his comforter when he whispered, "I'm thinking about going into... into therapy." He licked his lips nervously and then bit the bottom one, his fingers toying with the fabric over his lap.

I reached out, taking one of his hands in both of mine. "I think that's a good idea," I said honestly.
My voice was as soft as I could make it, but I wanted to cheer at this proof that he truly wanted to get better. I'd debated bringing up counseling before, but I'd shied away, worried that he'd think I was suggesting there was something wrong with him.

He raised his eyes slowly. "Really?"

I could see questions and concerns written all over his face. All I could do, though, was nod and give him a small smile as I squeezed his hand. "I think I might go, too."

"You?" His voice was incredulous.

"Yeah...I..." This time, I was the one who paused, running my fingers through my hair. "I have some shit to work through, too."

He nodded thoughtfully, and I wondered if he realized I meant both my feelings of inadequacy with Alistair - and with him. I couldn't bring that up quite yet, though. As we sat there quietly, the leaden feeling in my chest began to lighten, and I realized at last that this was it: we were truly moving forward. I had no illusions that it was going to be easy, but I felt like - maybe for the first time - we were on the same page.

I smiled, moving closer to him. He did the same, wrapping his arms around my waist as he gave me a quiet smile. I rested my forehead against his briefly and flinched away automatically as soon as the burning of his skin registered with me.

Shit. Good job, Masen. You shouldn't be having this discussion now, while he's sick.

Jasper yawned, mumbling an apology even as his eyes fluttered closed again. I chuckled softly, shaking my head. "Get some sleep, baby. We can talk some more later."

"M'kay."

I slid off of the bed and helped him settle back under the covers. He was out before I'd even finished tucking him in. I rinsed out the bucket, placing it by his bed again before closing his door behind me.

His phone rang, and I hurried to answer it, hoping it wouldn't wake him. It didn't take me long to find it, and I smiled reflexively when I saw Emily's name on the display.

"Good morning, Emily."

There was a brief moment of silence, and then, "Edward? What are you doing at Jasper's? Never mind, I don't think I wanna know."

She giggled. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair as I sat down on the couch. "Mind out of the gutter there, Lee Lee. I'm staying here a few days while he's sick."

"Uh oh...what's wrong with him? Is he okay?"

My eyes flickered toward his bedroom, and I sighed. "I don't know, sweetheart. It's probably just the flu or something."

There was a beat of silence before she said, "Guess that means you're both skipping class today then, huh?"

I smiled sadly. "Yeah, sorry, Emily. He's in no shape to go, and I don't feel right leaving him alone for that long."

"That's alright. I'll miss you, but I understand. Just be careful you don't get sick yourself, though."

I laughed. "I'll be fine; don't worry." I paused briefly, then added, "Hey, Lee? Did your mom make anything in particular for Jasper when he was sick?"

She hummed, and I could vividly picture her running her fingers through her hair as she thought about my question. "We didn't get sick very often, and I don't remember if she ever made anything special for Jasper...but whenever I was sick, she always made her chicken and dumplings. Then when I started feeling a little better, she'd make creamy tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Why?"

I smiled, already mentally running over the things I wanted to pick up at the store so I could make those for Jasper. "Just wanted to make him some comfort food, since he's thrown up a few times. Thanks, Lee."

"Ugh, poor guy... no problem. You let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"I will, thanks. Have fun in class today, and tell Carmen we said 'hi' and we're sorry to miss out."

"Will do. Take care, Edward."

Putting the phone on the coffee table, I went to get dressed in last night's clothes. I checked on Jasper, who was still out for the count, and then went in search of a pad and pen. I went through his kitchen, making a shopping list, as well as a list of everything I needed to pick up from my place since I was going to stay here until he was better.

When all that was done, I wrote Jasper a short note to let him know where I was. I didn't want to wake him up just to tell him I was going out and to go back to sleep. He was snoring lightly when I went back into his room to put the note and a couple of Tylenol on his nightstand.

I sighed and muttered under my breath, "Alright, get this over with quick. The sooner I leave, the sooner I'm back."

Borrowing his keys, I locked up behind me and hurried home. I changed clothes and packed a bag, including the presents I'd gotten for Jasper's birthday. After transferring a few files from my desktop, I packed my laptop and then headed to the kitchen to grab a couple of recipes. Almost as an afterthought, I grabbed my journal, too, putting it in the overnight bag. I had a feeling I'd need the outlet this week.

Stopping by my favorite grocers on the way back to Jasper's house, I did the shopping I needed in record time, though I ended up with much more than I'd anticipated. I was struggling with the bags of food, trying not to drop anything while opening the door to the building, when one of the bags ripped and its contents spilled onto the ground.

"Fuck!"

I sighed, about to put everything else down in order to gather the oranges that were now rolling away, when I heard someone say, "Here, I got this."

"Thanks," I muttered, watching the young guy picking up the runaway groceries. His arm was full of them as he maneuvered to open the door for me. He grinned and said, "After you."

I smiled, happy to meet someone so friendly, and went through the door. He chuckled as we stepped into the elevator, and he glanced at me with a cocky smile. "Looks like you're about to cook for an army."

I cleared my throat, blushing slightly as I said, "Ahh... I may have gotten a little carried away, but no, not quite an army. Just didn't want to have to go shopping for a while."

He nodded. His blue-gray eyes held a hint of mischief, and I thought something else, too - appraisal? He was pretty cute, and he reminded me a bit of Jasper, which made me smile reflexively. His smile widened in turn, his eyes drifting down before flickering back to my face. Just then the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, revealing Jasper's floor.

"Hey, can I help you carry this stuff in?" he asked.

I hesitated for a second, and he winked. "Don't worry," he teased. "I'm harmless."

I narrowed my eyes but couldn't help laughing as I said, "Yeah, sure…that'd be great."

I stepped out first, leading the way to the apartment. He followed me, and I had the feeling he was checking me out. It was kind of flattering, but I didn't think too much of it. I wasn't at all interested, and my focus was on the sick man down the hall.

When I got to Jasper's place, I had to juggle the bags a little to reach for the keys, and after a bit of fiddling, I finally managed to open the door. I quickly deposited the bags inside, then turned to reach for the items he held. He had an odd look on his face, but when he saw me watching him, he cleared his throat and shook his head, muttering to himself.

Realizing that I'd been largely ignoring him, I gave a small, apologetic smile. "Sorry, man. I'm a little preoccupied, I guess. Thanks for the help. I'm Edward, by the way."

I shifted the items he'd been holding to my left arm and reached out with my right hand. He ran his fingers through his hair, shuffling his weight from foot to foot for a moment. I thought for a second that he was going to leave without saying anything else, but he shook my hand at last and said simply, "Jason."

With that one word, my mind raced, putting together minuscule pieces to form one complete picture that I didn't like at all. My jaw clenched, and I knew he saw the recognition in my eyes. His lips twisted in something between a rueful smile and a smirk, but his eyes were haughty when he gave me a once-over and said, "See you around."

He turned then, walking off without giving me a chance to react. I stood frozen in place, watching his back. I was half-tempted to charge after him and demand some answers, but my anger deflated as I realized I had no idea what questions I would ask.

What could he tell me, really?

Nothing more than Jasper had…and the last thing I wanted was to hear that particular story from the other guy. With a frustrated growl, I stalked back into the apartment and slammed the door, jumping at the loud bang.

"Fuck!" I muttered under my breath, listening for any sound from Jasper's room. Mercifully, none came, and I took a moment to collect myself, trying to force away the images that flooded my mind – images that had become far too vivid now that I knew what Jason looked like.

I sighed, running both hands through my hair before I let them drop. I carried the groceries into the kitchen and put them away mechanically. Going through the motions helped calm me again, and I decided to check on Jasper before bringing in the rest of the things in from the car.

Quietly opening Jasper's door, I smiled when I heard a soft snoring sound. Walking up to the bed, I saw that he'd been sick again, which meant he'd been awake while I was gone. I glanced a the nightstand, finding the note unfolded and the Tylenol gone.

I cleaned the bucket again and returned it before putting the back of my hand lightly against his forehead. He still had a fever, but that didn't mean much, since I didn't know when he'd taken the medicine. I needed to ask him if he had a thermometer the next time he was awake, so we could see how bad it was, but it didn't feel too terrible. Still, I intended to keep a close eye on it.

Jasper stirred at my touch, his eyes opening slowly as he murmured, "You came back..."

I smiled, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Of course. How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

He moved to curl himself around me and grumbled, "Like shit. I hate being sick."

Chuckling, I brushed his hair from his face. "I think most people feel that way... hey, do you have a thermometer somewhere? I want to see how high of a temp you've got."

He frowned, thinking, then nodded. "Yeah, think so...check the top drawer on the right," he said, pointing to the bathroom.

By the time I'd found it, Jasper was dozing again. I was going to put the thermometer on his nightstand, but he woke when he heard me, a lazy smile spreading across his face. "Hey," he rasped.

Sitting down again, I handed him the device, and he murmured, "Thanks, Princess," before putting it dutifully in his mouth. I sat with him, my fingers alternately brushing through his hair or along his face, which seemed to soothe Jasper. The beep from the thermometer startled us both, and I chuckled - apparently it hadn't just been Jasper that had been soothed by the action.

I checked his temperature, and frowned.

100.9F

I sighed. It wasn't too worrying, by any means, but it was higher than I'd like to see. When I turned my eyes to Jasper, he was staring at me, and I smiled softly.

"Think you'll be up for a shower in a little bit? I just need to get my stuff from the car first."

His grin was mischievous, but the groan that escaped him wasn't one of longing, and he cringed. I took his hand in mine, and said, "Maybe later. Get some more rest, baby."

His voice was softer, pleading, as he said, "Lie down with me?"

His eyes searched mine, and I could see that haunted look lingering there. I leaned down, pressing my lips to his forehead, and murmured, "I'll come take a nap with you later, okay? Just have a few things to take care of first."

Jasper pouted, which made me chuckle. "Promise, sweetheart. Now get some sleep; you need it."

He sighed, closing his eyes even as he mumbled, "Okay, okay...can't argue with that, I guess."

It wasn't long before he was out again. He seemed a little more peaceful now, which was good to
see. I quietly made my way out of his room, closing the door so I wouldn't disturb him as I went about things.

First, I went to get my bags from the car, like I had told Jasper I was going to do. The entire time I was gone, I kept half an eye out for Jason, both hoping that I would and wouldn't run into him a second time. I was by no means sure of how I'd react if I were faced with him again. I tried to push thoughts of Jason out of my mind and sort of succeeded.

When I got back inside Jasper's apartment, I dropped my things by the door, not bothering to put anything away yet. I figured I'd better start cooking if I wanted to serve Jasper the chicken and dumplings when he woke up again. The silent apartment was lonely, though, and I hated the way the feeling that I was intruding kept creeping up on me. Trying to chase it away, I checked Jasper's stereo, flipping through CD cases until I found Strauss. Putting that on to play softly, I set about gathering all the ingredients I'd need and then got started.

It was easy to lose myself in the rhythm of preparing food, and I felt oddly peaceful as I worked. I wondered if Jasper had felt the same when he'd worked in my kitchen that time. With the music playing, it felt good to be here, cooking food for him in his place.

Once the soup was simmering, I decided to make good on my promise, leaving the rest of the cooking I had planned for later. It wasn't like I wouldn't have time for it. I grabbed my overnight bag and took it with me to Jasper's room, quietly putting it down by his closet. He was still sleeping, so I stripped down to my boxers and crawled under the covers with him.

Jasper didn't wake fully, but he curled himself around me again as he gave a contented sigh. I couldn't help but smile as I watched him for a while. Being here with him felt so right to me, even if he was sick - or maybe even because of it. I wanted to take care of him, to be able to hold him whenever, to fall asleep with him and wake up with him.

All of it.

None of that had changed for me, in spite of everything that had happened and everything I had learned about Jasper. If anything, it made that desire even stronger. It was with that thought in my mind that I fell asleep.

I woke up suddenly when Jasper wrenched himself from my arms and lurched over the side of the bed. The sound of his retching told me all I needed to know to wake up fully. I rubbed his back gently as he continued to heave.

He took several calming breaths before slumping back onto the bed, groaning softly. "Fuck, why do I always have to do that when I get sick?" he muttered.

Placing my hand on his chest, I leaned over him. "Emily said you were never sick often as a kid. At least, not that she remembered."

"Shit, Emily...class!"

He made as if to get up, but I pushed him back down. "Relax. She called earlier. I hope you don't mind, but I answered your phone when I saw her name. I told her you were sick and we wouldn't be able to make it. She understands and just wants you to get better. She said she'd miss us, though."

Jasper scrubbed his face with both hands, and groaned again. Hoping to distract him from worrying about Emily, I said, "So you always get this way?"

He nodded, putting his hand over mine on his chest. "Yeah, unfortunately. I'm just glad I don't get sick very often, but when I do, it's usually a doozy."

I glanced at the clock and smiled. "Well, if you're up for it, I made you some chicken and dumplings. Should be done by now, I think."

His eyes widened almost comically as he looked at me, his mouth slightly agape in surprise.

Answering his unspoken question, I said, "Emily."

He whispered, "You really didn't have to..."

Putting a finger on his lips to silence him, I shook my head. "None of that. I wanted to, baby. What do you say - you feel up to trying to eat?"

He nodded. "Yeah, just give me a moment. I'll meet you in the kitchen."

I got up and opened my bag, pulling my lounge pants out. I wasn't planning on leaving the house, and I figured I might as well be comfortable. The soft moan from behind me as I bent over to step into them made me turn around, and I chuckled when I took in Jasper's darkened eyes as he stared at me.

Shaking my head - and my ass a little - I grinned. "Goddamn one-track mind," I muttered.

There was no way anything was going to happen until he was feeling better, so I pulled the pants the rest of the way up. I quirked an eyebrow, and he blushed slightly at being caught. He murmured something under his breath and beat a hasty retreat to the bathroom - well, he shuffled as quickly as he was able to in his state, anyway.

I went to serve us both some soup, giving Jasper only half a bowl - he could always get more if he wanted. I'd just put the bowls down on the dining room table when Jasper walked out of his room. He stopped, taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, he smiled, walking up to me. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he kissed my neck and murmured, "Thanks, Princess. That smells pretty good...smells like home."
Squeezing him tight, I smiled. "I hope you like it. It's Aunt Livy's recipe - she used to make it all the time for us kids when we were sick, too."

We sat down to eat, and Jasper took a couple of bites, carefully waging whether he was going to get sick or not before deciding he was safe enough. The look on his face warmed me - he seemed to enjoy the soup well enough, but it was the way his eyes closed and his brow smoothed out that got me.

When he was done, he sat back and looked at me. "That was really good. Different from Mama's, but good. Thank you."

Finishing off the rest of my soup, I smiled and patted his hand, which was lying on the table next to his bowl. "My pleasure. I'm glad you liked it. There's plenty more, so whenever you feel hungry, you can help yourself, okay?"

He nodded, then turned his face to stifle a yawn. "Sorry," he mumbled, shaking his head.

I got to my feet and planted a soft kiss on the top of his head. "Don't worry about it. Now, shower, or sleep?"

He grinned lazily up at me. "Either, as long as you do it with me."

Rolling my eyes, I chuckled. "I'll take a shower with you, if you want, but I think I'm good for naps for now."

He pouted, his eyes pleading with me. I huffed, feigning annoyance as I agreed to work from the bedroom. I hadn't planned on doing that, but if he wanted me to, I wasn't going to tell him no. The truth was that I hated the idea of not being close to him as much as he seemed to.

Jasper turned in his seat, wrapping his arms around me as he rested his head against my stomach. "I'm glad you're here," he whispered.

That put a smile on my face, and I murmured, "I'm happy to be here."

I ran my fingers through his hair, enjoying this moment of peace - a moment that was broken by another yawn from Jasper.

"Damn it," he muttered.

Rubbing between his shoulder blades, I grinned. "Come on; let's get you to bed, Sleeping Beauty."

He looked up at me with narrowed eyes. "Watch it, Princess."

I laughed, cocking an eyebrow at him. "What? You're the one doing all the sleeping."

He growled softly, muttering something under his breath. I ducked my head, kissing him lightly on
the forehead, and grinned. "Get a move on, Mr. Whitlock."

Jasper grumbled as he let me go and got to his feet, "Yeah, yeah..."

After putting the dishes away, I grabbed my laptop bag. I followed him back to his room, rolling my eyes a little as he continued to gripe under his breath. If I were honest, I thought he was being kind of cute. Once Jasper was settled under the covers and I was sitting next to him on top of them, I pulled out my laptop, but I couldn't find a free outlet to plug into.

"Umm, Jazz?"

"Hmm?"

He'd all but fallen asleep again already but lifted his head to look at me. I held out the plug, raising an eyebrow in question. Instead of answering me, he crawled over me and removed one of the plugs in the outlet, replacing it with mine. He only halfway crawled off of me again, wrapping his arms around my waist as he snuggled closer.

I chuckled, my fingers combing through his hair as I shook my head. "Thanks, Cuddles, but you're making it a little difficult to get any work done if you stay there."

His voice was muffled, but I thought I heard him say, "Don't care...comfy."

I rolled my eyes, a fond smile on my lips as I played with the hair at the nape of his neck for a minute. When soft snores reached my ears, I knew he was out, and I just couldn't bring myself to make him move, so instead, I shifted the laptop awkwardly so I could see the screen and reach the keyboard and touchpad, and then I set about going through some edits.

I sat like that for about half an hour before he finally shifted far enough away that I could sit a little more comfortably to do my work. Part of me missed the contact, but my aching back was grateful for the respite.

The next time Jasper woke up, we took a shower. He tried to get things started, but I wouldn't let him, knowing he wasn't in any shape to follow through. He had to relent when his legs started shaking to the point that I had to support his weight while we finished cleaning up.

Poor guy's totally wiped...

I dried us both off as quickly as I could and then ushered him back to bed. He was out again almost before his head hit the pillow. Instead of joining him straight away, I took the opportunity to scour his bookshelves, grinning as I remembered the first time I'd seen them - and Jasper's response. That time, I hadn't gone into his room with the intent to read, but this time I figured I might as well.

It seemed that Jasper had a very eclectic taste in books. Tolkien, Grisham, and Wilde were mixed with history books on the Civil War and World War II along with several books revolving around the LGBT community. I smiled when I saw he had everything by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, but then my eyes widened a little when I spotted a few books that looked to be gay erotica.

I grabbed one of them off the shelf and read the back of it. This one happened to be about shapeshifters or something. I was tempted to read it but figured I'd better not do that just then. I didn't want to start something I wouldn't be able to finish - and I didn't mean the book.

Deciding that a mystery novel would probably be my best bet for safe entertainment, I grabbed Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. I'd seen the movie but hadn't read the book yet. I went back to the bed, settling in for a good read. As soon as I was back beside him, Jasper gravitated toward me again without ever waking up.

I'd gotten about a third of the way through by the time Jasper was conscious again - and wanting food. I made him take his temperature before getting him another bowl of soup. This time, I had him stay in bed, opting to serve it to him there. The look of gratitude he gave me made me smile.

As he ate, we talked for a little while about the book, which I had to admit I was liking better than the movie. I told him I'd enjoyed Tom Hanks' portrayal of Robert Langdon, and he nodded, stifling a yawn. He gave me an apologetic look as he put his bowl to the side.

"Don't worry about it, Jazz. You're sick... you need rest."

He made a face but settled onto his side and was soon asleep again. I took his bowl to the kitchen, where I made myself a sandwich and then took care of the dishes. I spent the rest of my evening reading until I got tired and figured I might as well get some rest myself. Jasper woke up just enough to murmur, "Hey, baby..." and snuggle up to me again, and then he was out like a light. It didn't take me long to follow.

The next day was pretty much the same. I spent most of it in bed with Jasper, either working on my laptop or reading, and when I wasn't doing that, I was in the kitchen. I made a couple of my favorite dishes - as well as a few I knew Jasper enjoyed - and put them in the freezer. I also made a pitcher of freshly squeezed orange juice for Jasper.

Jasper spent most of the day asleep again, only waking up for brief periods of time to either use the bathroom, throw up, or eat. He said he was aching all over, and I could tell he was just plain miserable.

Mike called around eight in the evening, asking about Jasper, who happened to be awake. They talked for a while, and I pretended to have something to do in the kitchen in order to give Jasper a little privacy. When I came back, he gave a wan smile and told me Mike had told him to stay home until he was fully back on his feet.

He ran his fingers through his hair and said in a hoarse voice, "I hate leaving them hanging like this. There's so much to do right now..."

I sat down on the edge of the bed, placing my hand on his thigh. "Sweetheart, Mike knows you're sick. It wouldn't do you or anyone else any good to go in to work the way you are right now. You'd only end up making everyone else sick, too. Just try to relax and focus on getting better, okay?"

He nodded, reaching for my hand and threading our fingers together. I squeezed his hand and said, "You should call the doctor first thing tomorrow if your fever hasn't gone down."

"I will."

His eyes - still glassy and feverish - searched mine for a moment. "You'll come with me?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Of course. Why?"

He blushed a little and looked down at our hands as he mumbled, "I hate doctors..."

I laughed, and he glared. I held up my free hand in surrender, but I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as I said, "Don't tell me you're afraid of needles." I couldn't resist teasing him a little, so I reached out, tugging the barbell through his nipple beneath his shirt.

He narrowed his eyes at me, and huffed, not answering. I leaned forward until my lips were a mere inch from his and whispered, "You're too cute," before kissing him lightly.

Just then, the phone rang again, saving me from Jasper's retaliation. When I heard him say, "Hi Lee Lee," I told him to tell her I said 'hello' and went to the living room.

When I heard the toilet flush, I figured it was safe to come back into the bedroom. Jasper was just climbing back into bed when I walked through the door, and he turned to look over his shoulder at me. "You don't have to do that, you know."

Slipping under the covers with him, I asked, "Do what?"

He turned to his side, resting his head on his arm as he looked at me, his other hand trailing lazily over my skin. He yawned and then said, "Leave the room when I'm on the phone. I don't mind."

That surprised me a little, since he'd always left the room to answer his phone when he was at my place. I'd just figured he preferred having his privacy, so I'd left, seeing how he wasn't feeling well.

He must have read the surprise on my face, because he gave a small smile and a shrug. "Old habits..."

Somehow I had the feeling that this was yet another thing that stemmed from Paul. I pulled him to me then, kissing the top of his head as I wrapped my arms around him. He put his head on my shoulder and sighed, his hand resting on my chest.

I lay awake for a few minutes, thinking about everything we'd already been through together. His invitations for me - both to stay here and to stay in the room when he was on the phone - felt like yet another step in the right direction. When I finally drifted off to sleep, there was a small smile on my lips.

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Chapter 23 ~ Chapter 25

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