Liquid Truth

A/N: Happy Birthday, Manyafandom! We hope you have an wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

ooOoo

Party

“You got him, Seth?” Emmett calls, looking up from helping Rosalie into his Jeep.

My arm tight around Edward’s shoulders, I call back, “Yeah, I got him.” My voice breaks off into laughter when Edward slings his arm around my waist.

“You’re such a good…” he mumbles and then trips, catching himself. “Good guy,” he finishes, and rests his head on my shoulder the best he can as we’re walking.

With an amused chuckle, I squeeze Edward a little tighter. “You’re a good guy, too,” I assure him.

“Need any help?” Jasper asks, grinning as he appears at my side.


Muse

Jasper helps me put Edward in my car before he and Alice leave. By the time I get behind the wheel, Ed's already got the radio going and is singing along – off-key.

Shaking my head, I laugh and pull out of the lot, heading to my place, where he'll stay the night as usual.

I honk when we pass Garrett and Peter, hand-in-hand. They wave.

My mind wanders to our friends. It's been a long time since we were all together last, and I'm glad to see things haven’t gotten awkward, despite the many changes in relationship status among us.  


Shift

We’ve all been friends since at least high school, though some of us for much longer. We’ve dated off and on throughout the years – Edward with Rose, me with Garrett, Jasper with Peter – without ever finding the right fit. I’m glad to see that now that we’re out of college, that’s changing.

Edward took his breakup with Rose a few years ago pretty hard, but it’s clear they’re both happier now. She found her perfect match in Emmett, and I can only hope Edward will find his soon.

Something in my chest aches as I wish it could be me.


Memories

“Jaded” comes on, and I sigh, thinking of Alice. That song always reminds me of our breakup. She was my first – everything. I was the one that introduced her to our group, and she's been part of it ever since.

When she told me after three years together that she was sorry, but she just didn't love me that way anymore, I was heartbroken.

Still, we've remained friends, and I'm glad she's found her soulmate in Jasper.

My mind wanders to the first time she saw me kiss Garrett, and I laugh. Edward gives me an amused, sidelong glance. “What?”

Acceptance

I chuckle, looking at him as I stop at a light. “Still awake, huh?”

He makes a face and slurs, “You laughing at?”

I shake my head, hitting the gas when the light changes. “I was just thinking about Alice nearly fainting when I… came out.”

If you could call it that.

Edward smirks. “’s what you get for man-handling Garrett in the kitchen.”

I grin, amused. “Can you blame me? Was the other way around, though. For the record.”

Edward mumbles something unintelligible, but he pats my knee, making me smile at how easily he’s always accepted my bisexuality.


Arrival

We're quiet the rest of the ride home, except for Ed humming along to the radio until I park the car. I just catch his eyes shifting away from me as I take my keys and open my door, but I brush it off.

He waits for me to round the car before stumbling toward my apartment, insisting he can walk. When he almost faceplants, though, I laughingly put my arm around his shoulders to steady him, pulling him closer.

“Fuck,” Ed mumbles, unable to contain his giggles, making me roll my eyes.

Suddenly, his arms are around my waist.


Startled

“Come on, Ed. Let’s get you inside,” I murmur, trying to control the emotions his casual touch inspires.

“Don’t wanna.” He plants his feet defiantly.

I tug him, half-pulling him along as I tease, “You just gonna stay out here all night?”

At that, he looks around blankly. “No,” he says, his feet moving at last. “But I just… I…”

He stops again, and I sigh. “Come on, man.”

“Wait.” The word is clear, but before I can even turn to him, I feel his warm lips on my cheek.

I swallow, forcing a laugh. “Eddie, you’re drunk,” I manage.


Earnest

He frowns, shaking his head. “'m not drunk!” he insists vehemently.

I bark a laugh at that, causing him to grumble, “Okay, fine, maybe I am, but...”

He shifts, pulling me so we're chest to chest. My heart starts beating faster as I stare at him.

His glassy eyes flicker between mine with determination as he brushes his lips against mine, whispering, “Mean it, Seth...”

My mind tells me that none of this is really real, even as the rest of me – heart and body alike – appear to be doing loop-de-loops for joy at even the hope that he's serious.


Caution

He’s fucking wasted.

My mind wins out with that one realization, and I sigh, forcing away disappointment. “No, you don’t, baby. Let’s get inside.”

At my slip, I bite the inside of my cheek, hoping he hasn’t noticed. He’s subdued as he follows me, his head down as he watches his feet.

When we get into the apartment, he goes straight to the sofa and sits down, his head in his hands. It’s only then that I realize what he’s feeling – rejection.

“Fuck,” I whisper, running my hand through my hair as I move to kneel in front of him.


Explanation

“Edward?” I murmur quietly.

Nothing.

Scrubbing my face, I take a slow breath as I try to figure out how to deal with this. My heart pangs when I hear his breathing waver slightly.

Shit.

I pull his hands from his face, hoping he'll look at me – he doesn't.

“Edward, please? Look at me?”

Reluctantly he raises his eyes to mine. I have to swallow hard when I see the hurt, fear, and rejection shining through the haze of alcohol.

Squeezing his hands, I try to smile reassuringly. “I'm not saying 'no' to you, Ed. Just... not like this, drunk.”


Reluctant

He looks away, nodding.

I’m torn, afraid that no matter what I do, I could ruin what we do have. I can’t leave him hurting like that, though, so I cup his cheek, urging him to look at me again. “You’re my best friend, Edward. I can’t risk losing that because you got drunk and thought-”

“It’s not because I’m drunk,” he breaks in angrily. “I swear.”

He sounds more sober, but I just can’t take the chance. I give a half-smile. “You don’t know how you’ll feel when you sober up.”

“Yes. I do.” With that, he stands unsteadily.


Lost

“Edward,” I call after him.

He shakes his head even as he rips his shirt off, letting it fall as he walks into my room. I fall back on my ass, staring after him, stunned and completely uncertain what to do.

The last thing I want to have happen is for him to wake up tomorrow and think I took advantage of him if I were to accept his words at face value.

I just can't risk it.

But at the same time, it's killing me to know I hurt him.

With a sigh, I get up to follow him.


Stall

When I get to my room, he’s already in bed. He’s lying on his stomach with a pillow shoved beneath him, hiding most of his face. Sharing a bed isn’t unusual for us, but I don’t know how the hell I’ll sleep after what just happened.

I head to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and washing my face mechanically. As I dry my hands meticulously, I realize I’m stalling.

“Grow the fuck up,” I mutter, determined not to let this make things weird.

Once I slip into bed in my boxers, my resolve is tested in more ways than one.


Restless

Lying on my side, I stare at Edward as his muscles ripple with every breath, tempting me to touch him. I've always avoided paying too close attention like I am now for this very reason.

He's made it impossible for me not to, though. My mind's awhirl with conflicting emotions as I try to put things together.

I can't. To my knowledge, Ed's never been with a guy – never even been interested in one. So for him to have said and done what he did... it leaves me completely confused.

Turning my back on him resolutely, I try to sleep.


Light

I don’t remember dozing off, but the next thing I know, light is pressing against my eyelids. I’m not sure why I’m awake until I feel the mattress depress and realize Edward’s stirring. With that thought, the night before comes crashing back to me with painful clarity.

I don’t want to open my eyes, sure that I will find him either completely unaware of the things he said – or still pissed off.

Before I can move, warm breath bathes my cheek, bringing with it the scent of toothpaste.

“I meant what I said,” Edward whispers before his lips brush mine.


Shock

My mind's shouting a million questions all at once. Even so, I can't get a syllable past my lips, just an almost pained-sounding moan.

What..?

How..?

Why now?

Why me?

When did he..?

How did I not know?

He shifts so his body's hovering over mine, his arms carrying his weight. I can still feel his heat and smell him. My body responds too eagerly to him. He notices, and his next kiss is more determined.

My hands fly to his face, cupping his jaws, though I'm not sure whether I'm trying to pull him closer or push him away.


Relent

Before I make a conscious decision, his tongue brushes along my lips, silently pleading. I moan again, wrapping my arms around his shoulders as our kiss deepens. Something deep inside of me shouts a warning, telling me to slow down, to think about what this might mean, but all I can think of is the way he tastes and feels when his weight presses me into the mattress.

Slowly, my senses return, and I gradually pull away. I can’t make myself go far, though, and his face is only inches from mine when I brush his hair from his forehead.


Simple

We stare into each other's eyes, each trying to find answers to questions neither of us has asked.

Cupping his cheek, my thumb brushing over his cheekbone, I whisper, “Talk to me, Ed?”

He nods slightly, swallowing hard and closing his eyes as he leans into my touch, almost as if he's drawing strength from it. Opening his eyes, he shifts to his side, pulling me along with him so we're facing each other.

Taking my hand in his, he stares at it for a few seconds before refocusing on me and starting to talk.

I listen in quiet wonder.

Unaware

“I thought by now we were… settled. I mean, we’re adults, right? So I thought I knew where I fit. You and Jasper are bi. Bella, Garrett, Peter… they’re gay. Rose, Emmett, Alice, and I – we’re straight. I just figured that’s how it was.”

I frown at him, reaching up to run my thumb along his chin. “You’re babbling,” I whisper.

He gives a half-smile and looks at me apologetically. “I know,” he says quickly. “I’m just trying to make sure you understand.”

I nod. “Okay. I’m listening.”

He sucks in a deep breath. “I thought I didn’t like guys…”


Compare

His eyes flicker between mine, smiling shyly. “It took me a while to figure out that I was looking at guys... and that I compared them all to...” He pauses, then takes a deep breath and forges ahead, “To you.”

My mouth pops open in surprise, but I can't think of a single thing to say. He blushes, briefly biting his lip before admitting that none ever seemed to compare.

Taking a deep breath, he says, “I took my time, Seth. I thought about it long and hard... I didn't want to hurt you if I wasn't sure, you know?”


Forward

He blushes further as he admits that he even tested himself to see if his body reacted to me the same way his mind did.

I listen in fascination, torn between amusement – because it’s so Edward – and excitement. When he mentions wanting to be sure he was attracted to me physically, I can’t help breaking in. “Are you?”

“You have no idea,” he murmurs. He pulls me close, pressing his body to mine so I can feel his erection against my hip.

“Oh, fuck, Edward,” I breathe, my eyes closing involuntarily.

“Are you attracted to me?” he whispers, sounding vulnerable.


Admission

I almost want to laugh, but I don't. Instead, I shift so he can feel me. So there can't be any doubt left for him, I take his hand and push it between us, maneuvering so we both cup my growing erection. My voice is huskier than I intended. “You tell me, babe.”

His muttered, “Fuck,” causes me to chuckle. He cuts me off with a searing kiss, and we forget everything else for a while.

Cupping his cheek, I pull back, whispering against his lips, “Tell me what you want, Ed.”

I need for him to say the words.


Honest

“I don’t know,” he whispers, his eyes searching mine. “I mean, I do, but I don’t know how this works with… with another man.”

I trace his jaw with my thumb and kiss his forehead. “Any way you want it to, Eddie. It’s just me. Whatever you-”

I’m startled into silence when he presses me against the mattress, moving to straddle my hips. He leans down, scattering kisses along my jaw and neck. “I’ve been thinking about you… imagining… fantasizing…”

When he works himself up to say that last word, I groan and grasp his hips, my lips seeking his.


Want

My hands remain locked on Edward's hips, while his start to wander. Without losing our connection, he lifts off me just enough to give himself room to touch my chest, teasing my nipples.

Arching up into him, I moan and deepen our kiss.

Slow down, I admonish myself, and do so reluctantly. With a hum, I pull back to look at him. “Tell me, Ed. Please?”

I'm surprised at the raw, raspy sound of my voice – not helped in the slightest by Edward's continuing caresses.

He looks at me seriously. “I want you, Seth. All of you. All the time.”


Beyond

He ducks his head, kissing me again before murmuring against my lips, “I want to know what it feels like to make love you to, what you look like when you come…”

His voice continues, torturing me with images of everything I never allowed myself to imagine with him because I knew I wanted them far too much. Strangely, a sick feeling begins growing in my stomach as I listen to him, and I gently urge him to sit up.

He looks at me questioningly, and I sigh, swallowing. “Is that all?”

“No,” he answers quickly, cupping my cheek. “Seth…”


Understanding

“I've already got my best friend – I already love you.” At his words, my heart skips a beat or two as he continues, “Everything I want from a significant other, I already have in you. You've been all that for me for so long... I just want to know what-”

He swallows, blushing again. “I want to know you... be with you. Give you everything I have to give...”

He frowns then. “I don't know if I'm saying this right-”

I cup his cheek. “Ed... I think you just said it all.”

He smiles before capturing my lips once more.